Page 123 of Playing to Win

Colin nodded numbly and mumbled in agreement.

They lay facing each other, Colin’s arms around Andrew’s waist, his face buried in Andrew’s neck. For a while they simply breathed. Andrew let his fingers drift over the smooth skin of Colin’s back and shoulders until he felt the muscles beneath loosen further.

Finally Colin stirred, turning his head far enough to say, “This isn’t working.”

“What’s wrong?” Andrew asked, fearing Colin wanted to leave.

“I feel complete shit, but I still want to have sex with you.”

Andrew rumbled a laugh. “That’s perfectly fine.”

“The thing is, I don’t know if I can. I mean, getting it up’s not a problem.” He slid his erection against Andrew’s hip, as if Andrew wouldn’t believe him. “But I’m just so…”

“Shattered? In every sense of the word?”

“Yeah,” Colin said in a defeated voice.

“Then what if I—” Andrew hesitated, his heart suddenly pounding so hard he could barely breathe. Perhaps this was the worst day to suggest this, when Colin already felt so powerless. Or perhaps this was the best day, when Colin needed caring for. “Maybe this time I could be…be the one to—you know…”

Colin gasped and pulled back to look at him. “Top me?”

Andrew adored his bluntness. “Only if you’d like.”

“If I’d—” Colin stopped, his eyes growing wet, and when he spoke, his voice was raw and husky. “I wouldnae like it. I’d love it.” He put a hand to Andrew’s face, holding his gaze. “Are you sure?”

Andrew hadn’t been sure, not until this moment, seeing the gratitude in Colin’s eyes. “Yes. If you’ll show me what to do.”

Colin smiled for the first time since last night. “Och aye.” Holding Andrew close, he rolled onto his back, wrapping his thighs around Andrew’s before pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss.

Hot, electric desire surged through Andrew at this sensation of power, and he found himself moving against Colin instinctively, simulating the thrusts he would soon make inside him. The heat between them dried the last bits of dampness from their shower.

When they were ready, Andrew opened the cabinet above the bed where he kept the condoms and lubricant, marveling that his hands weren’t trembling from nerves.

Colin sat up. “Need help with that?”

“I think I can manage.” He tore open the condom packet. “It’s been years since I put one of these on my own self.”

“Years? I thought you’ve never done this before.”

“I haven’t, not with a man.” Andrew’s hands stilled. “Do you think me awful for sleeping with girls at school?”

“No, why would I?”

Now wasn’t the time for true confessions, but he’d been the one to bring it up. “Because I didn’t want to,” he told Colin, “but I did it anyway, to fit in. To have something to tell the other lads. To score social-caliber points.” His face went hot with shame. “I was such a monster, like you once said.”

“Andrew…” Colin’s tongue caressed his name as he leaned in close. “You’re not a monster. I’m sorry I called you that.” He reached out and slid the condom from the packet, then carefully rolled it down over Andrew’s cock. “I will say, though, you’re in for a treat.”

Andrew closed his eyes to savor the warmth of Colin’s hand surrounding the snug, silky condom. “I can’t wait.”

“Now then.” Colin patted one of the pillows. “Gonnae lie on your back and let me ride you? That way I still do all the work. Might be easier for your first time.”

The idea was tempting. In that position, there’d be little danger of mishap. Andrew wouldn’t accidentally hurt Colin or make a fool of himself.

But the whole point of this was to give Colin a chance to let go.

“That’s not what I want,” Andrew said. “I want…I want to make you feel the way you’ve made me feel so many times. I want to make every cell in your body glow and sing.” He raised his eyes to Colin’s, then leaned forward and kissed him softly. “I want to work for you.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY

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