Page 34 of Infected By Virus

“He’s been perfect, better than perfect. All … let’s start fresh like we just met, no water under the bridge. Then he gave my picture to Hook, and everyone gushed over it because of the way he’d described it to them. He apparently told them his wall needed a ray of sunshine. Can you believe that?”

“Wow, what an asshole. He should be taken out back and shot,” Harmon quipped sarcastically.

“Harmon.”

“Don’t Harmon me. You are the biggest chicken-shit on the planet. It made sense to be scared and tangled up in past pain when you had zero idea of what you were walking into. Or even after that first meeting with how that went. I had the men suck speech all cued up and ready to go. But now? Now, girlfriend, it’s all you.”

She loved Harmon because she was a straight shooter, but she also hated her a little bit for it.

“But I was awful to him and he’s being amazing.”

“Exactly, even more reason for you to hike up those boy shorts you love so much, woman the fuck up, and get over it. I would say apologize and move on, but if I know you, and I do, you’ve already apologized ad nauseam. So, get to the move-on part and decide which is stronger.”

“Which what is stronger?”

“Your need to continue punishing yourself and him for who you both used to be, or if your love for the man he is, yourself, and Adam are stronger than the past.”

And there it was in a nutshell.

Her issue with the past had never really been about him, it had been about herself. Harmon was right about so many things. Rae would’ve been so lost without her and even more so the last month.

“Thanks, Harmon. You’re the absolute best.”

“I know, I accept thank-yous in size six, especially those amazing black boots from that one online store. I’ll send you a link. Although I am already missing the plans I had for us as platonic domestic partners.”

“Is that Rae?” Rae heard Barker’s voice.

“Yeah, what do you wanna say to our girl?” She heard Harmon switch to speakerphone. “Any advice on s-e-x?” She spelled it like there were children around and Rae couldn’t help but laugh. She had zero intention of sleeping with Darrin in a child’s bed at his brother’s house with Adam in the living room.

“Tell me she’s kidding, Rae. You are not getting back together with that asshole after everything he did to you?” His voice was unlike she’d ever heard it before. Angry was an understatement, and she didn’t like it one bit.

“Whoa, dude, take it down a notch or ten,” Harmon scolded. From the sound in her best friend’s voice, she was just as taken aback by Barker’s venom as Rae was.

“If you must know, we are not back together, but I think we may give it another try. I think he wants it, and to be honest, I do too.”

Rae heard a bump, like a fist hitting something. “Bro, what did my counter ever do to you?” Harmon’s words painted a picture and one she didn’t care for.

“What the hell, Rae. I’ve been there for you for years, begging for your crumbs. I never once hurt you like he did, but you drop me for no reason and refuse to give me another shot—but you’ll give him one?” The way he was raging put Rae on edge. But Barker wasn’t finished with his tirade.

“Did you forget all the tears? The women he fucked. I saw you, remember? I remember how he broke you, even if you’ve conveniently forgotten. I was there to pick up the pieces, but I won’t stand by and watch you with him again.” Barker finally took a breath.

“Harmon, take me off speaker.”

When Harmon complied, Rae spoke again.

“Get him out of your house now. That is not the Barker we know. He doesn’t sound safe.”

“Uh.” Rae heard a door slam and Harmon squealed.

“Shit. That was … intense. He stormed off, and I locked the door.”

“Is he gone gone?”

“Yeah, he’s backing out of the drive now and … yep. He sprayed gravel as he sped off. What the hell was that about, Rae? Did you know he felt that way?”

“No, I mean, he’s said a few things, especially after our disastrous attempt at a relationship. But he’d never been like … that.”

“Okay, well, we may need to redefine the parameters of our association with him after this, but we’ll let him cool off and explain first.”

“Same. But he’s quick to forgive and forget, so hopefully he’ll come around and we can have the whole gang back together. Anyway, thanks for the woman-up talk before Barker got intense.”

“You’re welcome. And forgive yourself already. I’ve been telling you for years to forgive him, but you need to forgive yourself, too. Love you, chica.”

“Love you too.”

Rae hung up the phone and curled up under the covers. Things were kind of aligning for once. She could maybe have all the people she cared about in her life.

She drifted off to sleep with visions of them being one big, happy family and putting her roots in Provo. Step one, seduction. In the past, Darrin had been the one to do the wooing, so she dreamed of ways to turn the tables and show him what it feels like to have someone pursue him with the intensity that he once pursued her.

Someone who wanted him more than they wanted their next breath.

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