Page 23 of Infected By Virus

RAE

A sad smile crossed her lips. As much as they needed to get it all out, it wasn’t going to be easy.

“You said Celeste admitted a part in our demise. Is she the reason you broke up with me?” He sounded stunned.

“Yes and no.” Rae shook her head and broke eye contact with him. “It wasn’t one thing, it was an accumulation of a million little things, none of it was your fault. Celeste always wanted you, she admitted as much, even back then, but I always wrote it off as joking, you know?”

“Yeah, she was a little relentless.” He spoke low.

The way he said it, there was so much more to the story. She loved her sister, or who she wanted her sister to be, even though it was obvious to everyone else that Celeste never cared for Rae as a sister should, apparently even Virus, though he’d never said anything.

“Anyway, I let her get in my head. I never even saw it coming because it was so slow. I don’t even remember when it started, but I remember the final straw.”

Virus took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers and laid them on the top of the table. Rae stared down at their hand, and he stared at her.

“Remember the day when she conned you into flipping her mattress, and I walked in to find you on top of her on her bed?”

He shuddered. “Of course I remember. But I explained that I was moving the mattress and fell, and you laughed because Celeste was laughing—” He looked confused.

“I know, and I believed you. But later that day, Celeste told me a different story. One where you were both willing participants, and I walked in, so you came up with the moving mattress story on the fly. I didn’t want to believe her, but her hands were between you, and it looked pretty damning, but I was stupid and naive.”

“Sunny, I never told you the whole story, and that’s on me. Maybe if I’d told you everything back then, she couldn’t have poisoned the well. As I was reaching for the mattress, Celeste ducked under my arm and got between me and the bed. I was shocked, so I didn’t really react. She pulled me on top of her and laughed like a hyena. That’s when you walked in.”

She gave him a sad smile. “That sounds about par for the course.”

Virus raised their joined hands and placed a kiss on the back of hers.

“I should’ve trusted you, not her. But at the time, it all fell into place. What I saw with my eyes aligned with her version.”

“I understand why you didn’t though, Rae. I get it. It looked really bad; I can see that now. I wish I could’ve seen it back then.”

“Again, I should’ve trusted you, not her. Celeste may have planted the seeds, but I cultivated and nurtured them.”

“Stop saying that.” He seemed disproportionately angry.

“Why? It’s the truth. When you love someone, you trust them.”

“Because.” He paused and his hold on her hand tightened. “I … could see you pulling away. You were practically begging for me to reassure you, and I didn’t. I thought, well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should’ve trusted you too.”

She nodded. What else could she do? It was true; he had been so distant, and his behavior made every word Celeste had to say seem true. Of course, Rae wasn’t going to start pointing fingers. That would get them nowhere.

“I’m so fucking sorry, babe. I should’ve said something. Told you how I felt and maybe …”

She squeezed his hand. “That’s enough of that for now. Can we agree on that?”

He didn’t answer.

As much as she wanted all the answers. Needed to hear everything, she was just too emotionally drained in that department to comprehend any more truths for the day.

Rae pulled her hand free. Not just to dash her tears, but to create a touch of distance. She would fall back into him and never come up for air if she wasn’t careful. She’d been there, done that, and got the emotional trauma.

“Let’s just accept that we were both immature and stupid. We both played parts in the demise of us, even though I was the one who ran away, so let’s go with seventy-five,” she pointed to herself. “Twenty-five.” She pointed to him. It was her attempt at deflection. Too many emotions too fast. Just one after another for the last month.

“Don’t downplay what I did, Rae. I betrayed you.”

“Well, yeah, you could’ve slept with anyone else after we broke up, and it would’ve been an easier hurdle, but when did we ever do anything the easy way?”

He laughed. It lightened the past just a little.

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