Page 30 of Clear Your Mind

“Both. Sorry to interrupt your lunch. I’ll let you have at it, I’m just heading back to the clubhouse for a bite myself.”

The door chimes, but we’re not angled to see who entered.

“Well, if you’re craving a less-than-stellar tofu stir-fry that may or may not leave you questioning your life choices, you can join me. Excuse me just a sec.” I move around the counter to greet the customer before Maxi agrees to have lunch with me.

The sight of Buddy standing there like he literally just stepped off the cover of a book stops me dead in my tracks. The light dancing off the crystals in the front window frame him in color.

I gasp.

When he smiles, I clasp my hands behind me. Not to avoid touching him so much as to check that my panties aren’t disintegrating.

I forget all about Maxi until she brushes past us silently and heads out the door.

“Wow, with a pitch like that, how could Maxi resist?” He steps forward and folds his arms around me, pulling me into his body. Wrapping my hair around his other hand, Buddy maneuvers me exactly where he wants me.

A shiver courses through my body when he scrapes his teeth down the side of my taught neck. This close, I feel an answering shiver from him. His lips linger for a moment before he inhales deeply. “Is the invitation to enjoy a soul-crushing stir-fry with an exceptionally beautiful woman as company extended to me since your potential lunch date just left?”

There’s no stopping the laughter that erupts from my very soul. He releases me and I head toward the back, knowing he’ll follow.

“Not only sexy but funny too. Well, Buddy the Blond Biker, keep that up and I just might fall head over heels in love,” I confess as I remove the now tepid burrito and replace it with the stir-fry.

The words aren’t planned and if I could suck them back out of the air and swallow them down, I would. But when I turn, he’s standing there grinning like a loon. Not running or looking for a way out, he looks rather pleased. Maybe he really means all the moving in and having strings pillow talk.

Before I can chew on my other foot, I divert my attention by intently studying the slowly rotating cardboard container through the glass door.

When Buddy’s in a room, it’s like there isn’t enough oxygen for everyone else. His presence is overwhelming, and I’m drunk on it…until a thought sobers me up real fast.

I face him and cross my arms. “So, how did you find me? Maxi stopped in by a happy accident, looking for crystals. Somehow, I don’t think that’s the case with you. Or are you planning to sage your clubhouse?”

I hate myself a little…no, a lot. Deep down, I know Buddy won’t hurt me, he’s not like Jeff at all. Even pushing that reality to the front of my mind doesn’t squash the tiny thread of reactionary fear that’s a learned behavior. One I’m working on controlling, but every now and then, something triggers a resurgence. Those incidents are getting fewer and further between, but that doesn’t mean they never happen.

“Love?” I cast my eyes down. I’m ashamed.

My arms, which were crossed in haughty indignation, are now wrapped around me in a protective manner. Or maybe I just need a hug really,reallybad.

“I’m sorry, Buddy. I’m projecting the sins of another onto you and I’m being a bitch…you—”

Buddy steps into my personal space, unwinding my arms and wrapping them around him instead. He lifts my chin with his knuckle. “Look at me, Krys.”

When I do, he kisses my forehead. “Don’t apologize. It’s my fault. You told me about your past and then I show up here unannounced without a fucking explanation. I’m sorry, love.”

I lean into him, resting my cheek against his chest and absorbing all the positive energy I can.

“I know the whole you-belong-to-me thing isn’tyourthing, and I promise to try to dial it back, but babe, I’m going to be honest, it won’t be easy. But know the minute you decide to end this, I’ll try like hell to get you to change your mind, but if you look me in the eye and tell me we’re honestly done, I’ll let you go. I’ll hate every minute of my life after that, but I won’t do what he did, love. Trust me on that.”

His proclamation is life to me. In this moment, I can’t imagine anything more perfect.

“I do trust you. And for the record, your words were flawless.”

“And foryourrecord, I make no promises about never, what was it you called it, beating my chest like a caveman and declaring youmine.”

“I never said that,” I argue with no fire in my voice.

“You implied it and I’m paraphrasing.”

Listening to the steady thump of his heart with his declaration still ringing in my head, I utter one of my own. “I want strings too.”

Buddy doesn’t react, at least not in any overt way. I hear his breath hitch and his heart speed up, but he shows no outward signs that he understood my words.

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