Page 32 of Pound

A name that was haunting her.

He must’ve sensed her distress because he leaned up on his elbow and stared down at her.

“Regrets already, sweetheart?” He asked and dropped a kiss on her T-shirt-covered shoulder. In all their activities, her shirt had remained on.

“No,” she answered woodenly.

“Talk to me, Meri. You’re my ol’ lady, don’t lie to me.” He wasn’t mad. He sounded more hurt than anything. He was lazily caressing her arm, and it was distracting her.

“Ol’ lady?”

Now he looked remorseful.

“Yeah. You said you told that bastard I was your ol’ man, and I told my club you were mine. So, it’s a done deal as far as I’m concerned.”

Meri sat up, forcing Pound to do the same. She knew what that meant. She’d told an outsider; he’d told the club. “But…” She trailed off as she swung her feet to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. It wasn’t just pillow talk earlier or her own mind making more of things than was there. Pound wanted her, wanted her, like more than just a night.

“No buts, Meri.” He wrapped around her from behind, caging her with his arms and legs while resting his bearded chin on her shoulder. “If you want this broken fucking man and this life with me, it’s yours. I claimed you and the kids as mine. If you say yes, it’s a done deal. I can promise none of you will want for anything as long as there is breath in my body. I’ll treat you like a queen, my queen. I’ll burn the fucking world for you or the kids. I’ll be yours and only yours until I leave this earth, you just have to say yes.”

Could she do it? It seemed like they barely knew each other but yet knew each other more than she could explain. He felt like home to her, always had. Even when he didn’t know she was there, and she spied him across the room. He was a beacon that drew her.

But now, there may be an obstacle. A very huge fucking obstacle. One she wouldn’t hurdle. Not after witnessing the things she had. But first, she needed answers. Maybe there wasn’t anything to stop them from being together. In that case, she would reclaim that part of her that would give it a chance.

“Tell me about Lea, your wife.” She could start there. Meri wasn’t the most covert of people, but she was good at extrapolating a picture from the information given. Her asking about past relationships shouldn’t raise red flags. That’s what people do when going into a new one, right? It wasn’t like she had a wealth of experience. After Jake, she swore off relationships. Not only did she not want to get hurt again, she refused to invite people into her kid’s life who weren’t there to stay. So instead, she had occasional dates, sex, and some friends-with-benefits situations, but nothing deeper than that.

At her question, she felt a change in his whole being. For a while, she thought he wouldn’t answer.

“We were not good together. We both expressed our emotions in… destructive ways. It started in the bedroom as fun, but soon she was expressing her emotions physically, good and bad, all the time. Anywhere and anyplace.” Pound sounded embarrassed. If it wasn’t for that hint of shame in his voice, she might not have caught on to his meaning.

“She hit you?”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “I enjoy a certain amount of pain with sex, or I did. Both giving and receiving, but Lea took that out of the bedroom. It went from playful to abusive to downright volatile. It got to the point where I couldn’t even perform sexually because it had gone from something that was good to something bad.”

Meri was just taking it all in. He’d never told this to anyone else. She could hear it in every syllable. No judgment. She enjoyed some light pain too, didn’t everyone? But it was his other words that had her breathing a sigh of relief. The Anna she’d met wasn’t capable of doing the things he was saying. There was no way he was her Joe.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”

“No.” Meri wrapped her arms around his arms when he tried to pull back. “I’m not judging, I’m just listening.”

“The relationship turned toxic and sour. I suspected she was cheating. One night, I picked a fight while I was driving. It was stupid, but I was exhausted. I just wanted out of the relationship, and I think I didn’t care how at the time.”

She felt a hot tear on her neck, and he held her a little tighter. So much so her ribs were stinging, but she didn’t dare react. He was exorcising a demon and speaking words she doubted he had before.

“It’s okay, Joe. You don’t have to tell me everything.”

“Yes. I do. I need to tell someone. And I want it to be you.”

And I want it to be you.

Those seven words sealed her fate. She loved him. There was no denying it. She didn’t care how long they’d known each other or how often they’d talked. He was hers.

“I want it to be me too.”

He kissed her neck. Somewhere deep down, she knew he was it for her, and she would be it for him.

“We crashed. I blamed myself for a long time, but I realize now that it wasn’t all my fault. Like I said, we were toxic together. While we were trapped in the car, she started babbling. I thought it was delirium brought on by trauma or blood loss or a concussion, but it was her confession.”

He took an unsteady breath and blew it out.

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