Page 32 of Trip

It had been done with a few words to Granite, but JJ didn’t need to know that either. The Travelers would turn Jake over to the Phantoms, then Taps and Thunder would keep him occupied until Trip arrived.

“Meri and the kids can join us for biscuits and gravy, presents, and whatever board games she forces on us. After, we can go to bed, and you can take all the time you need to break down or cry or whatever you need to do. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll be there every step of the way to hold you and dry your tears. Or if you’d rather, Meri and the kids can stay at their place, and we’ll just hole up here until you’re ready to head back to Vegas. Your call, babe.”

Trip shut up and let her decide.

“I know I have to tell Meri sometime soon, before Jake comes back, but I’d rather not do that at the holidays or with the kids around. She should have a choice if she wants to share it with them or not. That isn’t my call to make, and this place is too small to keep secrets.”

That was true, but Meri didn’t need to know because Jake would never be around again. That was another bit of information he’d keep to himself.

“You don’t have to tell her now or ever. If you want to wait, then wait.”

“Yeah. I think I’d rather it be just us, at least for now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Stop apologizing. You don’t owe me or anyone else a damn thing. And yeah, we can wait.”

He hoped the ding from his phone was the one that would tell him the Travelers had Jake.

After a quick read, he flipped it around for JJ to see.

GRANITE: Our friends finally met. We’ll see you when you get home. Taps says package tracking has your shit arriving soon and he’ll collect it and keep it safe until you return.

“I don’t understand?”

“It means Jake isn’t with Meri and the kids.” He watched her shrink two inches when she breathed the tension from her body.

“What package is he talking about?”

“Oh, that,” Trip answered, scooping her into his arms and carrying her to bed. “Just something I ordered online. Guess he’ll keep it safe from porch pirates. Christmastime is the worst for stolen packages.”

It was a steaming pile of bullshit wrapped in a velvet lie. But no matter how pretty it was packaged, it was still the ending of a man’s life. One he’d once called a friend. Sadly, for his soul anyway, he knew he’d have zero regrets.

As he tucked JJ back into bed and slid in beside her, he was pretty sure she didn’t buy it either, but she kept her doubts to herself.

Trip held her close and just listened to her breathing. She wasn’t crying, not anymore, but he could practically hear her mind racing.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I’ve talked about it and talked about it with professionals until it’s almost just words now. I mean, it still hurts, and I still think about it, but it doesn’t consume or control me anymore. Especially now that I’m not hiding it. It was really the thought of him hurting someone else that triggered me, not the memories of what he did to me. If that makes sense?”

It didn’t, but that’s because no matter how in touch or woke he was, he hadn’t gone through it and therefore he couldn’t understand what it did to someone who had. As long as it made sense to her, that was all that mattered.

“I mean, I lived with shame and self-blame for so long I thought I’d never get to a place where I could be happy, but then I did. A lot of therapy and understanding and time were key. Just so you know, I don’t blame you. But in all honesty, I did for a while. I blamed you for not looking past my words or lack of words and seeing the truth.”

“I am sorry I failed you, Jessika. If I could take it all back, I would.”

“Shhhh.” She silenced him with a sweet kiss. “I didn’t say that to hurt you, and I wasn’t seeking an apology. What you said about me is true for you, too. You don’t owe me an apology. It wasn’t your responsibility to see through my mask or your job to dig for the truth. My therapists helped me see that and I finally did. That’s when I made actual progress with dealing with the rape. I can even say that word now without shame washing over my body.”

Trip didn’t agree. He should’ve trusted her, and he should’ve seen through everything. Hell, he should’ve protected her from it even happening. He’d failed, but he’d rectify that as much as he could as soon as he returned home.

He cupped her cheek and stared into his future. A future that looked perfect in every way. “You’re an amazing woman, JJ, and I’m the luckiest fucker on the planet, because I get to call you mine.”

“I think I might be the lucky one here, but I’ll let you think it’s you. That is, as long as you don’t go tripping and falling dick-first into any bed but mine.”

Trip sat up so fast he almost knocked JJ off the damn bed.

“Where in the fuck did you get that?”

Before the question even left his lips, he knew.

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