Page 44 of Control Line

Chapter Sixteen

Zee fell back on her ass and crab walked away from the pure hatred flaring in Barney’s eyes and the shock of his words.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Placing her hands over her ears and shaking her head in denial didn’t help at all. The words were still said, and they still meant what they meant.

Either Barney was playing a sick twisted joke on her, or someone wasn’t who they claimed to be. Her money was on Billy. He used a different name with each new girl, so it shouldn’t surprise her. Either way, she’d slept with the real Winslow Barnes and a fake one.

She made it to the garbage before she gagged at the thought. Who the hell had she let into her life?

Barney was standing by the time she finished dry heaving. “So, I’m asking you again, why did you come here?”

Why is he asking again?

Her brain felt like it was drenched in molasses. Maybe it just couldn’t process or accept what was happening. She needed time to think. Feeling blindsided put her on the defensive and since Barney was on the offensive, it was a good thing.

Everything slowed. Zee entered her military headspace. That’s what she needed to do to cope. Emotions had to be locked up so reason and logic could take the lead.

“I’ve already answered that question. If you have something to say, Winslow, spit it out. Don’t pussyfoot around.” She followed suit and stood; equal footing helped slip her armor into place. She’d dealt with men trying to intimidate her for a long time.

And that was what the man in front of her was doing as he took a step forward and seethed down at her. Zee couldn’t comprehend why he was angry with her, but that’s because until that moment, her softer, warmer side was in control.

It was ØK’s time to rise. Protect the heart. Barney was hurt, deeply. Regardless, he needed to go process his shit elsewhere if he was going to blame her. This was becoming a pattern, one she didn’t care for.

“Fine, since you want to play the dumb card. Did you come here for me? Why? Stealing everything, including my life, wasn’t enough, you needed to rub salt in the wound? Fuck. Was it his idea?” He shouted and turned, giving her a chance to draw in an unsteady breath.

She still hadn’t had time to think about what he’d said when he spun and put his finger right in her face, a gnat’s hair from touching her. She didn’t flinch, never broke eye contact. Again, not new to her. Basic training prepared her for men in her face shouting her down. Her time in the Army that followed taught her when to answer the questions and when to shut the fuck up.

This was a shut the fuck up time. Barney wouldn’t hear a word she said through the hazy lens he was looking through. Not to mention she didn’t have a clue what to say because his words were still coming, and the processing plant in her head was backlogged.

“You. You’re. . . I can’t believe you took it so far as to sleep with me. So, what’s the going rate for a soul these days? By my estimation, it’s about one hundred and twenty-seven thousand dollars, give or take. That was the last count of credit cards and shit I know about. Did you throw the body in for free? You know what, only one other person ever broke my heart, and that was Derek, and lo-and-behold, he just pulled it again from the fucking grave.”

Barney was still talking, still in her face when her brain hit double time to catch up to what was happening.

Billy, uh, Derek, was the one who stole Barney’s identity, not the other way around. She never really thought so, but her initial reaction upon hearing his name was one was lying, and even though Billy had a history of untruths, she refused to jump to conclusions. Not to mention, she’d known him as Billy for years. It was human nature to assume the newest would be the imitator.

Her heart broke for Barney. He’d made peace with the stolen identity and being dead because it had been random. Just bad luck, but now it was personal. Someone he cared deeply about made a choice to do this to him. She knew precisely how that felt, and at the hands of the same person.

It was all Zee could do not to reach for him and kiss away the furrow in his brow, rub that space by his ears until he unclenched his jaw, and just show him she cared and was in it with him.

As she was about to do just that, his other words started making sense to her.He thinks I. . . She couldn’t even finish the thought because the punch to her chest was borderline physical. He had spewed some pretty vile accusations at her, and she realized he was still going. His lips were moving, but she refused to listen to the words flying out. His lips stopped moving, but the finger remained so close she could feel his body heat on the tip of her nose.

“If you don’t remove your fucking finger, I will break it.” Her voice was calm and controlled. The anger and agony coursing through her body were hidden well behind her cold facade.

Barney took an unsteady step back and scrubbed his face. “Tell me you didn’t come here to hurt me. Tell me you didn’t sleep with me for some fucked up agenda or even worse, a way to apologize for what you did?”

“What I did? Me?” The fact he had already lumped her in with Billy was a bad sign. Zee was privy to how he’d wanted to destroy anyone Billy, eh, Derek, had cared about, at least at first.

Well, joke’s on you, buddy, Billy beat you to the destruction. And he never really cared about me.But the waste Barney was laying to her heart made Billy-Derek’s shit look like a carnival cake walk.

She knew going in that Barney would break her heart, but she didn’t know it would be like this. She expected cheating, losing interest, or just not being as into her as she was him. Standing where she was, those seemed preferable.

“Are you seriously asking me? Do you think I’m capable of that or even if I was, that I’m that type of person? That I’d do that—to you? After all we shared, you think that of me so damned easily?” She heard emotion creeping into her voice and needed to tamp it down. Emotion had never gotten her anywhere but heartbroken.

What was it Rush sang about in his song ‘Freewill’?Something about not deciding still being a choice. Well, a non-answer is still an answer. It’s just harder to believe than words.

Barney answered her with the stance of his body, the set of his shoulders, and the disgust roiling in his eyes. Eyes that had just hours ago made her feel loved now made her feel hated.

“Get out.” She spoke the words rather than spit them like she wanted to.

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