Page 24 of Control Line

Within seconds, she was coming with an almost shrill series of broken panted moans, the last one hitting a sustained high note.

“FUCK!” The shout from Barney snapped her attention back to him as ropes of cum launched from his cock at high velocity. His abs flexed violently, and his expression bordered on pain. His knuckles whitened on the end of his shaft with one last shot.

Neither moved for what felt like an eternity. Barney stepped back under the showerhead, turning away from her. “Fuck, doll. You sent me over the edge. I couldn’t see you but those sounds. Holy shit. I can’t wait to hear them when my face is buried between your thighs.”

“I. . .” One letter was all she managed. What do you say to someone after that?Thanks for the orgasm and letting me watch you get off, too?She should be mortified, but she wasn’t. Something about this felt weirdly right. It felt intimate, more so than sex.

“I get it.” What did he get, hell, did she even get it? “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Her squeaky voice surprised her.

He turned off the water and stepped out to snag a towel. He was dragging it down his face so his words were muffled.

“Put your fingers in your mouth and describe to me what you taste like.” He was drying his body with his back to her.That ass, though.

Something about him or this whole situation made her bold, so she did it. Tasting her fingers was the easy part, describing how she tasted was the hard part.

“Salty. Musky. The essence of pleasure and relief.” Mentally she added,of letting go.

That was the best she could do. Zee had never tasted herself before. It wasn’t something she ever cared to do until Barney asked her to. Just like the masturbation voyeur sessions. Wasn’t her thing. . .until now.

“Damn, woman. I can’t wait to verify that answer. Can I ask you something else?”

Barney had wrapped the towel around his narrow hips and walked out of her field of vision toward the sink.

“Yes.”

“Why do you feel guilty for losing someone you loved when it was beyond your control?”

Damn, off the top rope, elbow first. “Who says I feel guilty over Billy’s death?”

“You. With just, everything. You radiate guilt, and pain, and confusion. But you hide it all with your strength and grace. Feeling any of those things isn’t weakness, you know.”

Yes, it is.

Maybe it was the post orgasm bliss, but her tongue was loose. “I feel guilty because our relationship wasn’t what it was supposed to be. Maybe that’s my fault.”

“It takes two to tango, doll. Sure, some of it is your fault, but some of it’s his, too. No relationship is completely one-sided. If it is, it doesn’t last and yours lasted for years so, why do you shoulder all the guilt?”

“Because he’s dead.” She spoke with more force than intended.

Barney didn’t say anything, just gave her time to get the words together. “Because he’s dead.” She could hear how her own voice softened with defeat. “He’s dead and I can’t blame him. It’s not right.”

“Bullshit. Did he do you wrong?”

The words she needed to say she’d never really admitted. “More times than I can count. There’re a few kids out there that prove some of it. If I put that aside, the answer is still yes. But he’s dead and I don’t know how to blame a dead man.”

“Doll. That’s not for you to feel guilt over. That was his to shoulder. Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean you have to pick that shit up and carry it with you. You should bury it with him.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“How would you do it if he were here? Would you carry it and pretend things were fine or would you tell him to pound sand?”

“I did just accept it. Because it was my fault.”

“How in the hell is him not controlling his dick your fault?”

His anger shocked her.

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