Page 18 of Control Line

Chapter Seven

Yesterday was exhausting, but in a good way. The group clean-up effort made her miss road police duty in the Army.Said no one ever.

It wasn’t the act she missed so much as the comradery. But it was also kind of the act, or at least the mindless time it occupied. Time she didn’t spend berating herself for not feeling enough for Billy’s death and feeling too much for her neighbor.

“Hahahaha,” she laughed to herself as she lathered the masculine-scented shampoo in her hair. She sounded crazy. No one missed giving up their Saturday to pick up trash on post. Even crazier, she’d grabbed Barney’s all-in-one instead of her shampoo. It was an accident, or so she told herself.

Inhaling deeply caused a shudder to course through her body. The man smelled like heaven and now she knew the secret. If she had to describe it, she would say it was the heat of campfire and the bite of gunpowder, mixed with musk. The man was damn near literal sex on a stick. She’d seen that with her own two eyes.

Freedom.That’s what she was calling his scent from now on. Freedom.

“‘Merica.”

Shit, shit, shit.She was so occupied laughing at her own joke and thinking about his cock, she ended up with soap in her eyes and mouth.

Not the worst thing that happened to her for sure, but there was a tap on the door accompanied by a desperate voice asking to use the toilet, and that might just be the worst.

It wasn’t the thought of him glimpsing her naked that stiffened her spine, it was the fact she was choking on his soap with red, irritated eyes.

“I won’t look, I promise, but I need to piss like a racehorse and get started with my day.” That was the issue with sharing a bathroom; they both had day jobs. Zee glanced up through her stinging eyes to see she had tossed her towel over the door so he would only see her upper thighs.

“Sure, we’re both adults and have to learn to share or make a schedule.” She chanced a peek around the edge of the towel and saw Barney do the pee-pee walk to the water closet. Thank God for the closed off toilet area. The last thing she wanted was to watch him take a leak.

The sound of flushing and the seat dropping signaled he had finished his thoroughbred activity. She watched as he stepped out and headed for the sink. Zee stood frozen under the steamy waterfall watching in fascination as he swiped the blade of his hand across the fogged mirror and loaded his toothbrush.

She’d lived with Billy for years and never once watched him brush his teeth or had him enter the bathroom while she was there.

Her mind wandered down the path of never-ending questions and what-ifs. It was the start of a road-trip she was tired of traveling.

Barney turned and leaned back against the counter, crossing his legs at the ankle. He wore a pair of snug boxer briefs and nothing else. He was leisurely brushing his teeth and watching her, what little he could see.

Shutting off the water, she pulled the towel down. After swiping her face, she just held it there, draped in front of her. “I thought you promised not to look.”

Zero shame, that’s what she saw when he pulled the toothbrush from between the lips she fiercely wanted to feel on her body. That wicked grin that put a flight of California condors in her stomach graced his face.

“Yeah, and I thought we established bathroom boundaries about using each other’s shit.” Thank the little baby Jesus in a tuxedo shirt he turned to spit, or he would’ve noticed what his sleep-roughened voice did to her.

She crossed her legs to dull the ache and wrapped the towel around her body to hide her pebbled nipples.

“It was your razor I promised not to use, not your all-in-one. Besides, it was an accident. It won’t happen again.”

This was too much. He was too much. She was a second away from dropping the towel and begging him to take her on the bathroom counter. Zee went to exit the situation and one tanned and toned arm reached out. His hand flat against the door caused her breathing to increase and her heart rate to skyrocket.

When he leaned down and ran his nose along the column of her neck, she was pretty sure she moaned out loud. Goose flesh rose along the area where his sharp intake of air left her skin cool. “No worries, doll. Use it all you want. I can get used to you smelling like me.”

With that, Barney straightened, winked, and walked through the door to his cabin.

“Dear, God, I am fucked.” It was a scarcely breathed confession, but it was one thousand percent accurate. It was only a matter of time before she invited him into her bed. And because she was who she was, her heart, too. Zee had never mastered the art of casual with men and if the stories and his attitude were to be believed, Barney had never mastered the art of committed.

As she was getting ready for her first hike, she tried to talk herself out of the attraction, but she couldn’t. Knowing heartbreak was inevitable didn’t help.

“Why, Norman?” She asked her companion as she fed him and gave him some love. “I have got to be the stupidest person on the planet.”

Maybe I’ll break the pattern? I can be the one, I can change him.These were thoughts she reminded herself of repeatedly. They were the same thoughts that landed her and Billy together. The truth was, she’d known exactly the kind of man Billy was and thought if she just loved him enough, he would change.

Men don’t change because someone else wants them to or loves them hard enough. People change because they want to, period.

No matter how much she told herself these things, she still wanted the smoking hot firefighter next door. Maybeshecould change this time. Do casual. Zee had only a few minutes, but she needed a touchstone. Something to help. She rummaged through the box marked UGH SHIT and found what she was looking for. The sealed envelope with her name scrawled on the front.

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