Page 27 of Unmistakably Us

Nine

January slammed the door when she entered the house. The sound wasn’t as satisfying as she’d hoped it would be. She had already driven like a bat out of Hell on the back roads in an attempt to dispel some of her more aggressive emotions. When that failed to help, she aggressively scrubbed Ruger’s car clean, including a full-on assault-style vacuuming.

Nothing worked, so she let out a frustrated howl as she headed down the hall. Augusta startled her when she came barreling out of her home gym. “Holy moly, I haven’t heard that since you were seven and I refused to give my Easy Bake oven to you so could take it apart and see how it worked.”

Her sister’s words were laced with humor, but her face had concern etched on it. January hating causing her sister strife, so she played to the humor.

“It wasn’t like you were using it. You grew out of it long before that and it was just rotting in the closet.” January nodded matter-of-factly, dropped a kiss on Gus’ cheek, and turned toward her room.

“As I recall, you stole it anyway and disassembled it while everyone slept. You might have gotten away with it if you hadn’t shoved all the pieces under your pink throw rug like no one could tell it was in the shape of a small mountain.” Her sister’s laugh rang down the hall, causing January to smile. It did her heart good to see her sister happy. These moments were so fleeting. Gus had become so serious since she arrived.

That’s my fault, too. She knew it was eating her sister alive not to know what was going on with her. January just didn’t have the heart to tell her all her parents had done and how stupid she had been to fall for it.

And, here it goes. “Do you want to talk about it? I’ve been told I’m a heck of a listener.”

Maybe she could confide a little in Gus. It would help with her own problems but also give her sister some measure of peace perhaps.

January turned back to Gus and approached with purpose. She embraced her with a ferocity she wasn’t expecting.

“I know you are, and I love you like no other person on this planet. Right now, I need a shower and a nap, but later, while we prep food for the barbecue, we’ll have a good old-fashioned gab session. Okay?”

When she pulled away, she knew her words had done what she intended. Her sister seemed relieved for the first time since January showed up on her doorstep. With a smile that wasn’t completely genuine, January entered her room.

Looking at the bed opened up a vortex in her stomach. Not that Logan had ever been in her bed here, but she could imagine him sprawled out with the sheets wrapped around his legs—feet exposed and one tan hand flung across his face. He really was breathtaking when he slept.

As she slid down the door, she pulled up the picture on the phone. Looking at him in that state of vulnerability made her ache anew. January suspected she was never that relaxed, even in sleep. “Fuck me with a saber, I love that asshole.” Admitting that aloud was not as freeing as one might think.

Nothing could come of it, and if she continued spending time with him, it would only lead to destruction for both of them. She could never be with him…not for ten years, anyway. And for Logan, it could end all possibility of him letting someone in. Logan had inadvertently let her in, even if he was unaware of how deep he allowed her to infiltrate. She was positive it wasn’t by design and was by sheer accident, but for Logan, she knew it was a big fucking deal.

If she didn’t put an end to this now, he would be broken beyond repair, and hadn’t he suffered enough already? His past, his brother, his…everything. She would not add to that. What was her broken heart compared to his broken soul? Her heart would heal, but she was afraid Logan might not come back from yet another rejection.

“I have to find a method to back off in a way he doesn’t see it at his failure, but as mine. I also need to get him and Michael together.”

They weren’t expected, but her tears began to fall. Making her way to the shower, she continued to cry. She wanted to tell her sister everything. She wanted to tell Stacy or Andrew, too. She knew they could get all those contracts with her parents completely decimated in court, but that would drag her sister through a part of her past she had broken free from.

January had long since resolved the fact her family was bat-shit crazy, and while she didn’t relish the idea of everyone knowing that, she could handle it. She just wasn’t sure Gus was up for it. To have all her dirty laundry hung out in the streets for all to see. John had heard the highlights from his wife, but she was positive Gus had never even gone into great detail with him.

It was the past. It was buried, and January would keep it that way, even if it cost her ten years to do so. “Gus protected me my whole life. I can protect her now.” Speaking into the water, her voice was distorted, but she preferred to blame it on the water rather than her tears.

With that resolution, she exited the shower, dried, dressed, and stiffened her spine. January was a fixer, damn it. She would fix this, all of this. Help Logan get close to Michael while backing off from him romantically. All while making him think it was his idea. Maybe she would get clingy; he would surely back off then. Logan Chapman was not the type to let people get clingy.

January would confide in Gus and make sure she didn’t see it as her fault for leaving her all those years ago. Well, confide a little; she would stop short before mentioning her parents and the contracts of Gus’ they hadn’t destroyed as promised and all that shit.

“Ugh, this is a fool’s endeavor.” Once people started talking to Gus, they didn’t stop. They would tell her their deepest, darkest secrets. Not me, though; no spilling all. I’ve done it before, I can do it again, especially with the proper motivation.

Instead of taking a power nap, she decided to start helping early. Surely, there were things to dice and marinate or…something. There was no way she could sleep right now.

When she entered the kitchen, it was abandoned, but there were supplies piled up on the counter leaving barely any space to work. She recognized Erika’s lists beside each pile. Good, no guess-work.

With her headphones in, January began following the recipes and lists. She was chopping this and rolling that, while bopping around the kitchen to the sounds of Winger and Thrice. Her taste in music was bipolar.

She was so busy, she failed to notice Francis until she backed that thing up right into the older lady. January’s shocked scream echoed in her head, drowning out “Black Honey.” In that moment, January knew she was neither fight nor flight; she was scream bloody murder and close her eyes wishing the bad thing away.

Francis reached up and plucked one of her ear buds out. “Good Lord, child, you could frighten the plates off an armadillo with that scream.” She placed her hand against her chest as she chastised January. “I knocked and yelled and stomped through the house like a bull elephant but you were so lost in your own world, you wouldn’t have heard if the tenth regiment itself came marching up on ya.”

January noticed a change in her tone as she spoke. She went from shocked by her scream to plotting. She may not have extensive face-time with Francis, but she had enough to know this woman was about to pry. And if what everyone said were true, she’d pull everything out of her with a sweet smile and a soft-spoken word.

Before she’d know it, she’d be pontificating the finer points of sucking Logan’s cock. Where would that get me? Another person in a long line who would say she was making a mistake by not staying and exploring her relationship with Logan and the rest of the Reids. One more person to tell her she was a major fucking moron for letting her parents force her into a marriage she didn’t want.

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