Page 26 of Unmistakably Us

“I haven’t either, but before I speak, can we take a picture or something, use it as blackmail?” Logan knew it was wrong to joke, but he had no reference point on how to act when someone was playing the hero while someone else wanted to castrate him. And for once, he didn’t deserve it.

The look Michael gifted him with was almost as scary as John’s…almost.

Logan had planned to just casually mention that he may want to make it a semi-regular thing with January. He wasn’t ready to get married or go steady or whatever other people did. He just meant, he enjoyed spending time with her when he wasn’t balls deep too. Like talking and eating and shit. Mostly the reason he was even bringing it up was a matter of pride, and he wanted to know what her hang-ups were.

Liar. Luckily Logan caught himself before he responded, “Shut up Kip,” out loud.

“Okay, can we just sit back down with everyone’s balls still attached, and I’ll explain. I promise, it’s not what you’re thinking.” Logan tried to defuse the situation as best he could. He’d learned growing up that he could bullshit his way out of one scrape or another by acting like the aggressor had no reason to be mad. You could explain if they wanted, rather than trying to butt heads with them and tell them they were wrong.

It put them in control, and that seemed to soothe their ire…sometimes. Logan figured since John wasn’t a natural bully or aggressive person, he would respond better to Logan’s calm rather than a defensive posture or anger.

Michael backed him up again. It was not unpleasant, but it threw him a curve ball and he wasn’t ready to take a swing. That part, he didn’t like. But he had to admit, his brother had a way with John, and in a few moments, they were all seated back around the table. Tensions were off the charts, and if John clenched his jaw any harder, he would need some extensive dental work.

This…Logan could work with. This was a situation he was pretty much an expert on. Of course, a twinge of guilt assaulted him right before he spoke; he would have to oversell his fondness for fucking January as something a bit more, judging by John’s reaction. He wouldn’t lie exactly, but instead of speaking of emotions, he’d speak of fucking, but conveniently leave the word out. Same with his interpretation. He would mentally add fucking to it and boom, not lying because he loved fucking her. That would be a better sell than an out and out lie.

Before any shoulder-sized rockers showed up with wings or horns to tell him how wrong he was, Logan sent out a mental, preventative, shut-the-fuck-up.

“Speak.” Wow, one word and clipped. John is really not himself today.

“As you know, January and I have been seeing each other.” Naked. “Plain and simple, I like,” fucking, “her…a lot. I may or may not have alluded to that fact this morning, and she went fucking pale and practically raced away like her ass was on fire.”

Logan paused because if felt a bit disingenuous to be thinking what he was. To reduce everything they shared down to fucking was just wrong. In his heart, he knew it was more than that; there was something there, but he was an emotional cripple. He couldn’t admit it yet, but he wanted to, and that was huge for him. God, how he wanted to.

The fantasies he had entertained were probably ridiculous by anyone else’s standard, but for him, they were shiny and new. Completely foreign thoughts. He pictured them holding hands and going to the movies, then back somewhere to fuck. Eating dinner at a mediocre chain restaurant then somewhere to fuck. Hell, even doing the barbecues with the whole fucking clan and sneaking off to fuck.

The only thing not vanilla about all those thoughts? The premium grade rope and intricate knots he wanted to try during the fucking part. The pinkening of her skin in the shape of the rope with a deeper shade under the knot. His dick got hard as fuck every time he pictured it, but January was different.

If she wasn’t special on some level, Logan would have had her bound the first time they fucked. He did with everyone else, but for some reason, he mentioned it, dreamt of it even, but didn’t want their first times to be about the binding. Not for his sake, but for hers.

When that thought struck him, that disingenuous feeling bloomed into a full-blown lying motherfucker feeling. Still, he didn’t have the capacity to process that yet. Baby steps.

John took his pause as an interjection point. “Did she not say anything? Mention…anything at all?” Logan had noticed John’s look had changed from anger to almost pity, and when he said anything twice, alarms bells went off in Logan’s head. It was like he meant to say something else and corrected at the last second. Logan wanted answers and advice from the people who had both, so he pretended not to notice, but he did and would question a certain blonde at the earliest possible opportunity.

“I was hoping you could shed some light for me. Maybe help me out a bit. I don’t fucking know. This is all new to me.”

Logan dragged his hand through his hair in an attempt to clip his runaway tongue. He had said very little, but it was still more than he had intended to share. More than he had wanted to. Especially to John and Michael. Being on the defensive made him feel like he was back with his dad or uncle. He hated to feel that level of vulnerability or weakness ever again, but here he was, doing exactly that.

“Fuck,” Logan cursed. Words were poised on his tongue ready to fall freely, but thank God, Michael saved him from suffering a nasty case of diarrhea of the mouth.

“You sure she wasn’t just caught off guard? From the chattering from the Estrogen Brigade, you two haven’t been officially a thing but a short time. I mean, we all knew you’d end up together from the minute we saw you in the same room.”

His charitable feelings toward Michael evaporated at his words. “Whoa there, we are not heading to Vegas and an Elvis officiated wedding, I was just saying it wouldn’t be so bad if we decided to only see each other for a while, see how it plays out and…”

The grin that split John’s face gave Logan pause. He didn’t like it one bit. This did not bode well. The look that passed between those two didn’t help. Michael pulled out his phone and was furiously texting. “It’s obvious to us, you care about her at least a bit, so what are you willing to do to prove it?” Michael asked him while distracted by his phone dinging and typing a response.

At John’s questioning look, Michael added, “That old man asked me something like that when I was clueless about Tori, and it helped me understand and accept it for what it was.”

What the fuck? This was not helping.“Whoa…again. I told you it’s not like that. We’re just—”

“Okay, try this. Would you be okay with her walking out of your life right now? Forever?”

Logan hated that question John posed, but he hated his answer even more. Not that he planned to share it. Sadly, he didn’t feel it would matter one way or another; they had their answer. Michael’s phone dinged again. Every time it did, he furiously tapped a response and grinned.

This conversation was all but over as far as he was concerned. They had nothing to offer that was applicable to his situation and besides, now both of their noses were in his business…and their phones.

Wait a minute…a few times the dings and responses lined up.

“Are you two fuckers texting each other rather than speaking aloud?”

Michael had the sense to look scolded. He wasn’t, but at least he feigned it. John just looked him dead in the eye. No words, just a stare.

Logan found it hard to look away from the older man’s measuring gaze. Michael shouted, “Francis. Damn it, why do we let her play again? Every time she joins the pool, no one but Dax stands a chance against her.”

Color me stupid,Logan thought, but he hadn’t the first clue what Michael was going on about, and he didn’t really care right now either. All he cared about was solving this puzzle and finding a way to not lose his soul in the process.

He rose from his chair, made his way to the aircraft, and started looking her over. “You coming over to my place tomorrow night?” John asked casually, like they hadn’t just had the weirdest and most uncomfortable conversation in the history of fucking talking.

Of course he was going. January had lured a promise to show from him between bouts of fucking and sucking. It was an unofficial Reid family barbecue. Unofficial because of the location. Francis suggested it and everyone just blindly accepted. Apparently, it was a first, her co-hosting at someone else’s place, but according the masses, she always had a reason for the shit she did.

“Yep, I’ll be there with January,” he answered. Under his breath he added, “Providing the invitation still stands.” Even if it didn’t, he would still go. He wasn’t exactly resolved to the fact he wanted more than just sex, but he was a glutton for punishment, apparently. Either way, her reaction to him would push him over the line in one way or another.

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