Page 6 of Inevitably Yours

Wow, talk about a shock. A good shock though, an amazing shock, but still a total shock. Gus would’ve been less stunned if John had started moving choppy and singing “The Lollipop Guild” from The Wizard of Oz.

She wanted to focus all her thoughts on this moment, live it to its fullest, experience it with her whole being. John asking her out was a breakthrough of epic proportions. Maybe all the vibes she was getting about this pregnancy were wrong. Pregnancy has screwed with every other aspect of my body, why not my intuition?

Andy had told her as much—not the pregnancy screwing with her body part, although he had read every book and was more familiar with a woman’s body than any gay man in history— that John cared about her and was not a homophobic butthole she’d been wondering if he was.

Andy and Marco both respected and adored John and agreed that John and she should be a done deal. Marco went as far as to say John looked at her the way Andy looked at him. Gus didn’t know about that because, whenever Andy looked at Marco, everyone in the room got turned on, and when John looked at her, she was the only one getting wet, it seemed.

Gus couldn’t wait for Andy and Marco to get settled in next door so they could have an even more active role in the pregnancy. They tried to keep a distance at first, not wanting to smother her. But she insisted they needed to be near. So, they rented the nearest place they could, which was a few miles away. Considering the size of her house, it wasn’t practical for them to stay there. She still offered, but they turned her down. Now the house next door finally became available, and they leased it. Gus knew it was killing them to miss out on little things.

Not that they weren’t with her everyday anyway, but three miles to a father, or fathers-to-be, might as well be fifty.

Selfishly, she needed their presence and not just because she was carrying their child. She loved Andy’s practical advice and sage wisdom, as well as Marco’s enthusiasm and whimsy.

She glanced down at her phone and saw it was January calling. She needed to chat with her after their call got cut short the other day, so she couldn’t let it go to voicemail. “Can you hold just a minute?” Gus didn’t wait for her sister to agree, she just muted the phone and put it back down on the counter.

Gus needed a momentary distraction and a chance to breathe. Luckily, she remembered the shirt. “Oh, I have your shirt, just let me grab it.” She headed to her room with purpose, closed the door behind her, and leaned her forehead against the cool wood. She didn’t want to give the shirt back, but it was the only excuse she could think of in the moment to step away. I have a gazillion reasons, bathroom being top of list, and I could’ve keep the shirt a bit longer.

After pushing herself off the door, she made her way to the dresser and opened the top drawer. There sat his baby-blue T-shirt. It looked at home among her bras and underthings. Letting her hand caress it with a soft touch, she spoke to it, “I’m going to miss you.” And she would…miss greeting it each morning with a gentle touch as she got dressed to face the day. She even sniffed it on occasion, although it didn’t smell of him since she washed it. Gus removed it from the drawer and brought it to her nose one last time. With a deep inhale, she left the room. Get it together Gus, you are starting to come off a little creepy.

“Here you go. I washed it.” Real smooth. “Thanks for the yardwork, by the way.” He had taken it off the day he and Michael surprised her by trimming the knee-high grass in the back yard. She had covertly watched John’s tanned shoulder muscles bulge and glisten in the sun in just his tank top after he removed his T-shirt.

“No worries, you know I’m always available should you need m…anything.” Gus could’ve sworn he almost said me, but caught himself.

“Okay, pick me up at five? Sorry, but I eat early.” She then held up one finger in the universal signal of I-need-you-to-wait-one-second-although-I’ll-be-a-half-an-hour-or-more and answered the phone.

“Hey, little sis, what’s up?” As she greeted January, John indicated he was leaving and would call. His goodbye wink was a move she hated to love. She hated she couldn’t enjoy the gesture or the afterglow, but such was her life right now. Partially organized chaos with a dose of all-out what-the-heck described it pretty well. While her sister answered with the typical, “not much,” Gus was aware of the rest of her guests filtering out as well.

She waddled to the couch, eased herself down, and picked up the conversation where they left off last time they spoke. “So, let’s dismiss the pleasantries and get to the point already, Jani.”

“I love you too, sis, and don’t call me Jani, please. Can’t a girl just come and stay with her sister while she’s pregnant without getting the third degree? Oh, and Mom and Dad say hi and they love you.”

“You mean ‘no matter what,’ January. You can say it, I know they put the qualifier at the end.” Gus knew her parents well. The Thornes, loving but controlling. They believed she was ruining her life by having a baby for someone else. They’d had the conversation. Her mother cried and wailed while her father remained stoic and reprimanded her. Gus knew they meant well, but they were stuck in a time that didn’t exist anymore—a time of arranged marriages and virginal brides when children followed the path the parents laid out for them with no questions asked.

Gus did appreciate January’s attempt to protect her from the pain of her mother’s inadvertent slight and overt judgment.

“I’m sorry, Augusta, but you know how they are. They love us and want what’s best for us. Enough about them, how are you? Big as a house yet?”

“Gee thanks, and no, I’m not. I’m doing well, and so is baby. We are growing at the perfect rate for thirty-six weeks. My love life sucks, but it’s starting to look up as of a few minutes ago.”

January interrupted. “Ooooo, do tell.”

“Nope. I refuse to jinx it. But I do want to hear about why you are anxious to come to Florida and stay with your pregnant sister when you should be starting your new life. Graduating college wasn’t the end, you know. There’s this thing called a career that comes next.” Gus laughed. She was just giving her sister a hard time. She had her life laid out in front of her, courtesy of Timothy and Melody Thorne. A moment of guilt invaded Gus’ lightened mood. It always did when she thought about when she left home.

“I told you already, I want to be there for you. Mom and Dad only saw fit to give me one sister, so I got stuck with you.”

“Ha, it’s the other way around, I got stuck with you. I was there long before you graced us with your perfect presence. I joke, but seriously, I know you love me and want to be here for me, but I get the distinct impression there is more to it than that. Spill, and I’ll consider it.”

“Okay, fine. You always were all about feelings and that hippy shit.”

“January, language.”

“Please, it’s not like you haven’t said or heard worse.”

“I know, but it’s weird coming from my baby sister, so humor me. Now, spill. I don’t have all day. I have to go live in group and then get ready for dinner with John.” Gus was practically beaming about both those things. Going live in her group today would be so much different than any other time.

When Gus decided to do this whole baby-oven thing, she looked for support everywhere, even Facebook. She found plenty of groups for typical surrogacy situations, but not many for hers, so as the saying goes, “if the book you want to read hasn’t been written, then write it.” Well, something like that. She had no dreams of writing a book, but she did start a group and was taken aback by how many women like her there were.

The group had grown right along with her belly. Now she did regular live feeds and they discussed their problems with each other. Number one on the list…dating, and finding love and/or keeping it. Gus couldn’t wait to share this ray of hope with them. Her life had been getting more and more depressing in that arena. No one seemed to have any positive news on that front, until now. She could give them the giddy expectation, and then a postdate wrap up. Although, if things go my way, that will be a morning broadcast.

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