Page 19 of Irrevocably Mine

When the last jerk of his hips emptied his balls, he dropped half-on/half-off her delicious body, kissed her scar once more, and mumbled, “Idinfastyou, too,” as exhaustion beckoned them both to the edge of sleep.

She staredat the ceiling in stunned silence. Before she had time to register what all had gone down, she felt a vibration against her chest. The sound was familiar and rhythmic. Was that…? She damn near gave herself whiplash looking down at the smiling, bearded face plastered to her puckered smile. She didn’t have the brain cells to analyze all of that because her brain was diverted as recognition set in.

“Oh, my ever-loving God, Dax, are you humming ‘Love Gun’ by KISS?” He grinned, pursed his lips, and proceeded to whistle while making eyes at her. “Jesus H. Christ, you are.” And she laughed. Not the acceptable public laugh or the I’m-on-a-date polite laugh, but full-on snort laughing until she couldn’t breathe—the way Gus did. Dax joined her. They must’ve laughed for minutes straight, because her side hurt and Dax had tears running down his face. As it was dying down, she stroked his beard, more of petted really, and he sighed like a contented housecat.

“I find it hot that you knew that. It was on my mind as I drifted off, because I kinda thought that while I was coming.” He looked up at her sheepishly and she snort-laughed in his face, setting off round two of laughing to tears. As she looked into his eyes, which reflected a deep inner happiness, she wondered,Is this what I’ve been missing out on my whole life? I can do this. Especially if I can see that look in his eyes knowing I put it there. What a rush.

Stacy let those thoughts swirl around in her bloodstream and curl around her heart while she simply enjoyed the serenity of it all.

A contented sigh escaped both of their mouths simultaneously. That was when panic set in. She couldn’t give him everything. If she did, she would lose a bit of herself and become too attached to him.Who am I kidding; the attachment is already there. As much as she believed Dax would never intentionally hurt her, she felt a whole lot of change at once, power slipping away. A certain amount of self-preservation was prudent. She needed to prove to herself that she wanted him more than needed him.

She wore her own damn cape and would never need a white knight to ride in and save her ass. Her face must’ve reflected her inner turmoil because Dax sat up and dropped a sweet kiss on her nose. “Where did you go, babe?”

Always one to recover quickly, Stacy reversed their positions and straddled his lap while leaning down to nibble his spot. She knew she could distract him from the questions he had about her mental withdrawl. “Nowhere, hun. I’m right here, or can’t you tell?” A well-timed bite and a hip roll had his inquisitive eyes hidden behind his lids as he bit his bottom lip and moaned. However, it was short lived. His body stiffened and not in the anticipated way. Dax sat up, grasped her hips and forced her to sit next to him.

He stared at her with an intensity that had come to mean either mind-blowing sex or he had reached his emotional limit for the time being.Damn, how is it I can read him already?When his lips thinned and he stood, Stacy knew it was the latter.

“Don’t do that. Not to me. Don’t cheapen what we have by using sex for anything other than our shared pleasure and an expression of our feelings, okay?” He covered that amazing ass and glorious cock of his with jeans he didn’t even bother to button, which was sexier somehow than if he’d been naked. “I’ve told you before, sweetheart, even I have my limits and I won’t let you treat me the way you do the other men,” he gritted the words out between his teeth, “who‘ve visited your bed.”

Dax didn’t say it as an insult but as a fact. It was painfully obvious, he was hurt by her withdrawal and attempt to cover up her issues with sex. She wanted to reach out to him and apologize more than she wanted to breathe, but she couldn’t.Please understand, Dax. I need a little piece of myself for myself. I don’t know how to jump in headfirst. Please let that be enough for you for now, until I can give you every little piece.Stacy shut her eyes and pled silently.

“I have something in my saddle bag that you need to see.” He headed out of the room, but paused at the door. “Plus, we really do need to have a heart to heart before we decide where this is going or where we will let it go.” With that, he disappeared. Listening to the front door close, she imagined how broken she would be if that was the final time he closed it. She couldn’t let that happen. She had to find a way to do what she must to keep him.Damn it. I will. I can. I can do anything I want, I’m StacyfuckingRoberts, and nothing is impossible for me.

While she was mentally pumping herself up, Dax entered holding a large envelope and looking like a confessed murderer walking to his sentencing hearing.Oh shit, this is going to be one hell of a talk.

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