Page 76 of Luca

We sat in the shade of the towering cherry blossom, a blanket beneath us, taking a break from the blistering heat. Zadok had packed us a picnic in his satchel, and he’d assured me that Flick was responsible for the cooking this time when he’d clocked my wary look.

It was nice just being in each other’s company, eating our meat pies, and talking about nothing in particular. I’d managed to take us to all four corners of the Outerlands, the transition becoming smoother and smoother each time I tried. I probably could have gone farther, but Zadok was nervous about leaving the boundaries of the island, and casting magic was really taxing, so I needed to recuperate before trying again.

Or before moving on to more intricate spell casting.

“You look so much like your mother,” Zadok mused, and my eyes snapped to him from where I’d been taking in the scenery. He startled as if he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Sorry, if that made you uncomfortable. I didn’t?—”

“It didn’t.” I cut in with a smile. “People always used to tell me that, when they weren’t being mean.” He frowned, and I waved him off. “She used to say it to me herself, and that she was so glad I mostly took after her. Except my curls and my eyes. Those were yours, and I… think she kinda hated that.”

He nodded sadly. “She didn’t tell you anything about me? Nothing at all?”

“No.” I stared down at the pastry in my hands, picking at it for a distraction. “And whenever I asked, she’d say some choice words and tell me to forget about it. She wouldn’t even entertain the idea of me crossing the barrier into the Fae side of the city, or trying to sate my curiosities about monsters. I never understood it, I thought she was just bigoted like all the others, but… I suppose she had a different reason entirely.”

I felt awful for being angry at her, for almost resenting her once I crossed the border. We’d had a tricky relationship because of the obsession she’d had with sheltering me, but now that I knew it was genuine fear and trauma from what had happened, I wished I had been more sympathetic. Taken the time to understand. She’d still hidden the truth about my father, but she wasn’t at fault.

No one was.

Well, except the king.

“I can’t exactly blame her, can I?” Zadok muttered. “Not if her first real interaction with our kind was me disappearing without a trace, and while she was pregnant at that.” He scrubbed a hand down his face, looking frustrated. “Did she… did she ever find solace with anyone else? After me, I mean. I don’t ask out of jealousy, I have no right, only that I hope she was able to move on. Have a good life.”

“She was with a guy when I was a kid,” I said, thinking back with a squint. “Trey. He was pretty cool. It was what kick-started my interest in you, ’cause I called him Dad once and he corrected me—said he was mystepdad. She told me they’d been together since before I was born, so it wasn’t exactly a wild assumption to make. Their marriage fell apart, though, as these things often do. I think it was just loneliness for her, and the fear of raising a kid on her own. It wasn’t purely love.” I shrugged, gazing at him. “She had no one else after that—or none she introduced me to anyway—but I think she was somewhat content with that. She always told me I was everything she needed, and despite her anxieties about monsters, she lived a full life. Was she happy? I don’t know, but I think she tried to be.”

“I never meant to cause her any suffering. Please know that.”

“I do.”

“I adore the life that I have now. I love Flick, I feel freer than I ever have, and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.” His fingers fidgeted in his lap. “But I wish I could have told her what was happening, at least. The king was going to banish me regardless, but all those years she spent wondering where I’d gone, hating me, hating our kind, keeping you from knowing anything, could have been prevented with a single letter or conversation.” He gritted his teeth, fury emanating from him. “I will despise Naeron until the end of my days for what he did.”

Hearing the king’s real name spoken with such disdain was jarring—I barely resisted the compulsion to look over my shoulder as if he’d somehow appear from thin air. “He won’t get away with it, I swear.”

Zadok smiled at me, the expression full of appreciation, before lapsing into a reminiscent silence. He scanned the forest surrounding the farmstead, and when he spoke again, he sounded sentimental. “She was the reason I came here—to Rosewood Creek. I’d seen the name in a ledger, and the description of the rose-colored petals on the trees felt like fate. I didn’t care that it was in the Outerlands, I bought it anyway with the dream of one day bringing Rosemary through the Veil and raising a family here. A delusion. I knew the king would never allow it, but that impulsiveness just proves how mindlessly in love I was.” He laughed softly, and I stayed silent, listening intently.

“I didn’t hesitate to come here after my banishment,” he carried on, not meeting my eyes. “I was… not in a good place back then, and I wanted something,anything, to help me feel closer to her again. For a while, it didn’t help. It actually made it worse… stewing in my torment, reminded of what I had lost every time I looked up at those trees. I still have bad days, but now, instead of feeling sadness whenever I think of her, the good memories are the ones that usually prevail. Her smile, her laugh, her kindness, her warmth.

“Not a day went by that I didn’t think of her.” He finally glanced up at me, his eyes glassy. “She was a special person in my life, and she will always own a piece of my heart. I felt it when she passed, when the mating bond snapped, but by that point, I was better equipped to deal with the ache in my soul. This tree…” He gestured to the cherry tree we sat under, its blushing pink and white leaves scattered over the grassy hill. “I planted it for her, in her memory. I couldn’t do much more, though I wished I could.”

Ah, of course. Cherry blossoms were her favorites, and that attention to detail—considering he would’ve had to import the seed from the human realm and then nurture it to maturity with his magic—made my heart ache.

“You can’t blame yourself forever,” I said, keeping my tone gentle, meaning every word. “Everything that happened wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. I owe a lot to Flick. He was so patient. He got me through it all, helped me heal. Helped me realize the atrocities I’d suffered. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m more confident now that I will be.” He lifted his hand, resting it on my shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze. The pressure was nice. “And I have a feeling that nowyouare in my life, it will only get better from here.”

I beamed at him, my eyes stinging with unshed tears and my heart expanding in my chest. My magic trilled happily in response. I’d waited so long to have this, envisioned a paternal connection since I was a kid, and now that it was right in front of me, there was an overwhelming sense of relief in my soul. A missing puzzle piece finally slotting into place.

“I feel the same.”

CAIR

“Ireceived word from Rathe this morning,” I announced, standing at the head of the room as the others gathered around me, my mate sitting on the couch beside his father. “It has become apparent that the king used my time in the human realm to rally support. They are creeping out of the shadows, boldly making themselves known as they weren’t before. The numbers have almost doubled.”

“Fuck,” Flick cursed from his position behind his lover, his arms crossed over his chest in a protective stance. He offered me a sympathetic look—a substantial development from our frosty introduction. I appreciated it.

“His intentions are clear, but…” I inhaled deeply, quelling the frustration building inside me. “I must think logically.”

“Fuck logic,” Gary piped up, and all eyes swung to where he leaned against the far wall. In all honesty, though his delivery could have used a little more tact, his advice was solid, and I wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment.

Privately.

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