Page 56 of Luca

No darkness, no afterlife, just… nothing.

It was surreal, but once I’d entered that state, the world had ceased to exist. I didn’t know how long I’d been gone, didn’t feel pain or hardship until I woke up. I couldn’t imagine what it had been like from the other side of the glass—without that shield of nothingness to numb the suffering—but seeing Cair’s reaction, hearing in his voice the trauma he’d endured, it was clearly a manifestation of living hell.

Placing a kiss on the tip of my nose, Cair returned to his sitting position, where he descended into a sort of trance. He looked so lost, a shred of the confident, headstrong Fae he’d portrayed since the day we met. His expression flitted between confusion and disbelief, his weary eyes fixed on me and scarcely blinking, like he was unable to let me out of his sights.

Or he was replaying the scene, over and over and?—

“Cair,” I said, breaking his concentration. “You’re not dreaming.”

Lucidity came back to him, a glimmer of shame passing over his face as he nodded and took my hand in his again. He sank into another silence.

My gaze drifted up to the ceiling once more, my eyes stinging and nose stuffy, but those sensations were soon forgotten as my body progressed in its reboot. Apparently, returning my uninhibited thoughts before I could even wiggle my toes or the emotional whirlwind had balanced itself out was what my nervous system felt was in my best interest.Go figure. In all seriousness, was it too soon to pry into the details of my demise? Probably. My lack of filter was a curse at the best of times, but at that moment, it would be downright insensitive. Cair needed more time to prepare for the interrogation that my brain was currently drafting a script for. He was used to my inquisitiveness, and he loved listening to each new interest I rambled on about, but the last thing I wanted was to cause him any more misery by poking at an already gaping wound.

I’d have to make a conscious effort to think before I spoke.

“How long have I… been out?” I asked, attempting to soften the probe with a nonchalant tone.

Thankfully, Cair didn’t seem troubled by the question. He just glanced at the clock on the wall, doing a mental calculation before saying, “Almost twelve hours.”

My eyes widened reflexively, but in truth, was that really so much of a shock? I mean, I knew Fae decayed slower than humans, but judging by the weird contractions happening in my legs, I’d say the process was definitely given the chance to begin.“Yeah, I feel every single one of them.”

“You are in pain?” He shifted as if to stand. “I will go and?—”

“No, no. No pain.” At least, nothing debilitating. “Just a little stiff and achy.” I squirmed, grunting as my muscles protested.Shit.Note to self: clawing your sorry ass back from rigor mortis will make you feel one hundred years old. “I think I need to sit up, though. Stretch out the ole bones a bit. Can you help me?”

His jaw clenched, considering, but as soon as I propped my hands on the bed on either side of my waist to attempt the move myself, he leaped into action. “Careful, sweet boy,” he said, his fingers trembling against the back of my neck. “Let me prop up the cushions so you have something to lean against.”

It was impressive how he managed to balance me at an angle with one hand, treating me like the most precious thing in all the world, while he repositioned the pillows with the other. Once he was content with the integrity of his pile—having changed their order four times—he set me down, helping me to shift around until I was comfy.

“Much better,” I sighed, already feeling the benefits of the change. My nosiness was grateful for the upgraded vantage point.

Cair continued to fuss, making sure every part of me was secure by tucking the blankets under my sides to fix me in place. I couldn’t help the tender smile curving my lips. “You’d make a great nurse,” I teased lightly. He didn’t laugh, but a faint spark returned to his eyes, and in my book, that was progress.

“I wouldn’t do this for anyone else,” he asserted, and something about the admission made me feel all warm and toasty inside, which was a good thing because I still had that deathly chill lingering in my blood like a bad smell.

Speaking of… No, a brief sniff told me I didn’t stink. Surprisingly. Unless my nose was switched off, Cair must have taken care of that too.

I didn’t need to pee either, which— Oh, God. Did that mean…?

Is it possible to die of embarrassment three minutes after resurrection?

“You didn’t wet yourself,” my mate cut through my inner turmoil, causing my head to snap up. He looked mildly amused, which was refreshing. It wasn’t judgement at the fact that my priorities were skewed, but seemed more like relief that I was reverting straight back to my random-thought-spiral self.

To be honest, I was glad of that too.

“Would you tell me if I had?” I asked, brow cocked. He took too long to answer for a lie to be believable, so he didn’t even bother telling one.

“No.”

I laughed, but the sound was jarring in my ears, the parched crackle in my throat making me cough. “Is there any water in here?”

Cair was on his feet in an instant, striding over to the dresser in the corner which supported an uneaten plate of food and a jug. He poured the contents of said jug into a cup before returning to me. He held my nape as he brought the rim to my lips, tipping gently. “Slow sips. That’s it.”

I obeyed, fighting against the impulse to gulp it down. The water was slightly warm, which would have grossed me out if I wasn’t so thirsty and in no position to be picky. Actually... drawing attention to it did have my stomach doing a nauseous flip-flop, so I huffed out a noise to signal I was finished.

Cair withdrew, setting the rest down on the bedside table.

“Thank you,” I said, wiping away the escaped droplets on my chin.

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