Page 35 of Luca

“But—”

I covered his hands with mine, lifting one to my cheek and nuzzling it. “I’m not giving up because of those assholes.” I kissed his palm. “I want to find out if this Zadok guy really is my dad. I’ve waited long enough.”

“We can still do so,” he said, thumb brushing my skin. He wore a concerned frown that I wanted to smooth out with my finger. “But in the company of the royal guard. Two weeks and your wound will be healed, then I can gather a?—”

“I love you.” I cut in, sending him a smile that I hoped conveyed my gratitude for his unnecessary fretting before adding a firm and concise, “But no.”

He studied my face, with its unwavering expression, and because he was so attuned to my every thought and emotion—and my tendency to not budge when I’d put my foot down—he relented. I understood his worries, I truly did. Being tied to someone, body and soul, and feeling their life force so keenly inside you, meant that every fear, no matter how irrational, was so much more visceral. He’d have sensed my panic and helplessness almost as intensely as I’d felt it myself, and all he would’ve seen was the worst possible outcome. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but what had happened had terrified him, and knowing another being had touched and harmed what washiswould be eating away at him, sending his senses into overdrive. I would indulge him all night and all day, give him as long as he needed to be convinced that I was okay, but this was my limit.

I’d had no choice but to give up in the fight; I wouldn’t be doing the same now.

“Alright,” he said, smiling weakly back at me. “But not until you’re better.”

A compromise I could definitely live with. “I suppose a little break won’t hurt.”

He nodded, seemingly pacified, before urging me into bed. I went willingly. The covers were already folded back, so all I had to do was wriggle into position and sigh happily as my head sank into the pillow. I lay there for a moment, staring up at the nondescript ceiling, but the lack of a solid body weighing down the mattress beside me had me confused.

Cair wasn’t joining me. Instead, he rose from his kneeling position to set the supplies on the side table. He was puttering around, busying himself.Creating a distraction. The line of his back was tense, and it didn’t take the skill of a mind reader to know he was wound up tight, teetering on the edge of collapse. He was always so strong for me, rarely showing his vulnerabilities, and even now he was doing his best to hide them, but fuck that noise.

I was well aware of how hypocritical that sounded, considering I was also trying to ignore everything, but not being given the opportunity to wallow helped, and seeing my mate in this state broke my heart.

There was no point in us both getting lost in our heads.

I sat up. “Cair…”

“Hm?”

“Talk to me.”

He paused, and in all honesty, I thought he would refuse, tell me to go to sleep and not worry about it, but he didn’t. He balled his fists at his sides, and through a hint of a snarl, he said, “My duty is to protect you, and I failed.”

“You literally choked two smoke dudes to death because they tried to kill me,” I said dryly. “You protected me.”

“It…touchedyou,” he gritted it out as if the word tasted sour on his tongue. “It should not have gotten close enough.”

“Maybe not.” I shrugged. “But it did, and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. I’m also not in any pain. Rattled, yes, but all things considered, I think I got outta there pretty unscathed.”

He seemed to sober at that, blinking out of his stupor. He strode back over to the bed and lowered himself to his knees again.

“Forgive me,” he murmured, taking my small hand in his large one. “You went through this ordeal, and I am making this about myself.”

“Uh-uh, we’re not gonna do that. You’re allowed to have feelings, and to need comfort. You don’t have to bottle everything up or set your worries aside for me. I won’t love you any less if you fall apart every once in a while.”

Eyes glassy, Cair leaned forward and rested his head against mine, breathing the same air. His voice cracked in his throat when he finally said, “Seeing you hurt made me remember that I can lose you, and I…Fuck, I can’t lose you.”

“I know.” I combed my fingers through the hair that had fallen from his braid, closing my eyes and letting his scent surround me. “But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He brushed my nose with his, drifting lower until he could kiss me, the gesture soft and adoring. All of his emotion poured into me, and I pressed closer, suddenly wanting more now that I could taste him. The desire to throw my arms around his shoulders and drag his body on top of me was urgent and startling, but annoyingly, exhaustion had other ideas.

I broke away, yawning, and he chuckled softly. “Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

“Come to bed?” I lifted the sheets and shuffled out of the center to make room. He began to peel off his clothes without hesitation, and another thought came to me just as he was about to slide in beside me. “Can you release your wings? I want all of you around me.”

He’d glamored them for practicality, but I missed their larger-than-life presence, their power and protection.

“Of course.” They unfurled from his back, still so breathtakingly beautiful it almost made me cry.

My mate settled into the bed, maneuvering us until my back was against his chest and every part of him could curl around me as I’d wanted. His wings blanketed me last, the crystalline panels shielding me from the outside world, and though my nerves still buzzed under the surface, being in his arms, safe and comfortable, quieted the worst of their bite.

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