Page 54 of Luca

I had planned forever with him, had expected to wake up every morning and see his sapphire eyes staring up at me until the end of time, but that honor had been ripped away. It truly felt as if half of me had perished with him, all the good parts dissolving into the ether. The softness, the passion, the joy. I had none left. I could barely muster the strength to feel anything except overwhelming misery and hatred, but even then, it was too much strain to keep those flames burning. I was a husk. Hollowed out and left to rot in the darkness.

My father had purged my world of its brightest light, had stolen the sun, the moon, and the stars right out of the sky, leaving nothing but an empty void.

My only solace was that he would soon join me in this purgatory.

He would know, too, what it felt like to lose everything.

There was a knock on the door, and I must’ve permitted entry as Zadok’s footsteps approached, his bleak scent laced with nauseatingly familiar tones, but still not quite right. “We have to bury him,” he said. “I can prepare his body, and Flick will find a nice spot for him. You have to let him go.”

A spot?A dirty hole in the fucking ground where he would disintegrate into the unforgiving earth? No, he deserved better than that. He deserved a temple, an everlasting foundation where he could be worshipped. A monument built of marble and gold, his name engraved into every pillar so no one would forget him. No one would dare forget him. I would brand his signature into their skin if they tried. He would be remembered for eternity, if it was the last thing I did.

I didn’t know how many hours it had been. I had bathed him and dressed him in clean clothes, but not for burial. He wasn’t ready for that. Though he often teased me for my refinement, my mate would wish to be presentable. It would embarrass him to be so on display with his curls untamed and his skin beaded with sweat. I liked him that way. Wild. Ruffled. His scent at its strongest. There was only one sight more beautiful than when he first woke up, and that was when he laughed. If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear it.

“He’s gone.” Zadok spoke again in my silence, voice timid, as if he were dealing with a rabid animal. I didn’t have the energy to lash out at him.

I could hardly even find the will to live.

“Not yet,” I muttered. “I feel his soul. It’s clinging to me.”

Our bond had weakened, a faint ember in the ashes of a bonfire, but it hadn’t diminished entirely. I wanted to believe there was a chance he would return to me, that his soul was lingering for a reason other than the typical delay of a Fae’s life force rejoining nature. I would not abandon it, abandonhim.As long as part of him remained, even just a spark, I would stay by his side, assured that he hadn’t the chance to feel alone. I never want him to feel alone.

“The last thing he said to me was ‘I love you,’” I mused aloud, voice distant even to my own ears, the memory of how those words sounded drilled into my brain. “It was muffled, but I heard it, and I didn’t say it back. How am I to let him go knowing the last words in his ears were not that I loved him too?”

“He’ll have known,” Zadok said, and I couldn’t comprehend the purpose of his statement. Condolence? Compassion? Support? There was only one way he could be of any service to me now,and it wasn’t with meaningless words.

“Kill me.”

“What?”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, barely hearing myself speak as the sound cracked from my dry lips. “You are an outsider, you’re the only one who can. I know you don’t owe me anything, and I wouldn’t blame you for refusing because of what my father did to you, butplease. Once the king is gone, once his head is the first offering at my mate’s graveside, let me join him in the afterlife.” I tore my gaze from my mate, tears blurring the edges of my vision as grief distorted the rest. “Let me tell him I love him.”

A solemn expression passed over Zadok’s face.Anguish. He squeezed my shoulder, but I was too numb to feel its comfort, too broken to know its sympathy. “I can’t do that, lad,” he said, guilt-ridden. “I’m sorry.”

He left, and I didn’t acknowledge it. Luca’s fingers were unbearably cold. He wasn’t fond of the cold, and I couldn’t let his soul drift away in a state of discomfort. Without hesitation, I climbed onto the bed, nestling beside him, careful not to hurt him. I placed my head on his chest as I hooked my leg over his shins and my arm over his belly. He would feel warmth as his soul left his body; he would be surrounded and safe. Two sensations he sought out in me.

I closed my eyes, chasing the memory of his soft snores, the faint spasms in his muscles, the breathy whimper as he would mindlessly shift closer. He never slept so soundly as this. He was active even in dreaming: a ball of excitement and energy that never dulled.He’s too still. I sought out his hand, bringing it to the hair between my horns, mimicking the way he used to caress me. It wasn’t the same, but it offered the barest hint of comfort.

Time was irrelevant. It barely seemed to move inside our bubble, regardless, but between one inhale of his muted scent and the next, the last sliver of his life force dispersed into the air. His body no longer sang with the remnants of our connection, the vows we’d shared, the claim we had on one another. And the thread wound by fate that had tied us together… finally broke.

He’s gone.

I curled around him, the pain in my chest so debilitating I couldn’t even weep. Ripping my wings from my back would have hurt less, and there would be no deafening silence that had me shaking in fear. I lay there, fangs grinding, breath seizing in my lungs as I prayed to the Creators for the strength to survive it, for them to grant me the chance to avenge him before they took me too.

My demise was inevitable. I refused to live without my mate beside me, but I wouldn’t cross over the planes until I had what I’d promised him.

* * *

Somehow, I fell asleep—or I had collapsed unconscious—but jolted awake at the echoingthumpringing in my ear. I blinked through the lingering ache, listening for the sound to repeat itself, pleading for it, but when it didn’t, I released a dejected sigh.

I had imagined it, my dazed mind already playing cruel tricks. It may even have been my own heartbeat, the scattered pulse ricocheting off his body and back to mine with how tightly I clung to him. How desperately I wanted it to be his.

I sat up with a groan, scrubbing a hand down my face before dragging myself to my feet. It was time. I would inform Zadok of my plans for a grand memorial, a display fit for the divine. I didn’t want to let him go, but I had to.

However, just as my fingers touched the door handle, it happened again. Anotherthump, then another, each growing stronger than the last.

I was not asleep; I was not dreaming. I was striding back to the bed before I even realized I was moving, leaning over my mate, my heart lodged in my throat. My hand was reaching toward him, and I expected to swipe right through a mirage, for me to lurch out of a twisted nightmare. Everything around me was still and silent, except for that rhythmicthump, thump, thump.

“Luca?”

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