Page 14 of Smoke N' Stroke

“Let me see if you do too.”

I couldn’t respond because my dick was engulfed by wet heat as she pulled me into that place I’d been yearning. The cushion of her working jaws slick with her saliva had me counting stars, cows, dollars, and perfume bottles on her vanity. Anything.One one thousand. Six two thousand. Oh damn. I had to pull away when her suction went crazy.

“Enough.”

“Well fuck me, Zaire. I’m ready.”

When had she become this brazen and why did I love it so fuckingmuch?

It went in a blur after that. Our bodies in constant motion. I lifted her hips and pulled her body onto me with one hard thrust to satisfy us both. Feeling her tight body massage my dick with each of my pumps only made me work harder until she sat up wrapped her legs around my waist and started rocking back in forth in my lap. Her fat ass smacked against my thighs in a hot and heavy pulsing rhythm while her pussy yacked on my wood back and forth like a hand and mouth. She was determined to pull my cum from my dick and I wasn’t ready to let her. When she leaned back and rolled her hips in a circular motion, winding like a skilled dancer, I pressed my hand to the small of her back to slow her.

“Slow down baby. Breathe with me,” I told her. She bit her lip, her body vibrating with restraint.

“It feels so good, Zaire. You feel so damn good. So thick.”

“I know, baby. But we have all night, and I got a lot to give you.” My promise would be delivered.

Her head fell back exposing the length of her slender neck that glistened with beads of sweat. I stilled myself and let her pussy work around my dick. Kissing the base and then retreating. It was like a choreography of spiritual will and I would win. Sowould she. Her breast swayed to the gentle rolls our movements produced. I brought her forward so that I could taste each one, enjoying her clench around me as my body sent her tumbling into her first orgasms for the night. She rode the wave of her climax by bouncing her ass up and down on me until her body convulsed and fell forward into my chest in a heap. I held her, running my hands up and down her back until her shuddering ended. Our bodies were still sealing together, and I realized then, that I would never want to leave the depths of her. I wanted to stay here forever.

I placed her back onto the bed and moved into position. My kiss to her lips was my ‘thank you’, and her hands clutching my ass as I hit that tight pussy to the hilt, was her ‘you’re welcome’. I fucked this woman all night long and only when the dawn started to tinge the sky and I felt I drove all her fears of the previous day away did I cum.

10

ZAIRE

At one time, I had had a lot of women. I ran through so many honeys, that the names and faces of them became a blur and the only details I could recall of them were insignificant when I thought of it now. Their ass shapes, the shade of brown of their skin, the way they sucked my dick or gagged on it. Those things didn’t matter anymore, but back then, it was what helped me get through my mother dying from cancer before I had the opportunity to truly appreciate her. Time flew by after her diagnosis and three months later she left me here to be the caregiver of my siblings who were still in middle school and high school.

The pain was nearly unbearable back then and while some people drank away their pain, I fuckedmy way through it caring little about the carnage I left behind when I got tired of one source of comfort and took up another one. I caused some damage back then, and it was irresponsible but at first, I excused it and looked at it as just doing adult things with women who knew I wanted no more than that. After a while the endless phone calls, angry text messages and slashed tires had me rethinking my position and my role in their pain. I used them. Sure, I said I wanted to keep things light but I treated them in a way that said anything but. I didn’t treat them like garbage from the start. No, I treated them the way my mom taught me to treat women and made them feel comfortable with me and like me and then I fucked them and fucked them some more until I grew tired of that one and needed another. It was terrible and there was no way for them to not fall in love with me and keep the lines from blurring. I was a master of this program, and they were just my pieces, pawns, doing what I wanted.

I decided to get into psychology to undo my harm. As silly as that might sound to someone else, there is a responsibility to put order back when you’ve created chaos, and I created my fair share. I wanted to know how to undo manipulation and pain because that’s what I had done to those women.I became a sex therapist to help people deal with the underlying root cause of their disturbances with self-identity. Sexuality is nothing but a form of self-expression and in our healthiest state we can do that with no fear and without causing harm but most of us carry some baggage that complicates that and it’s for that reason that I sit and talk to women and men about their stories and help them sort it out.

Since I’ve been in this work, I’ve only seriously dated a few times because there’s a stigma attached to the profession and of sex therapists in general and a visual most had when I said what I did for a living, didn’t apply to me. I would be rich if I got a nickel for how many times, I had to clarify that I wasn’t a sexologist and that they weren’t limited and could be physical with their clients to help them overcome fears and also deal with technical issues some people or couples may have. While I’ve been approached multiple times to perform those functions, it is not what I do, nor do I desire it. Like not in the least. Sex therapy is not about sex at all for me and not usually for the people that were referred to me. The people who come to see me are often broken and broken by other people—typically by those that were supposed to protect them. I would never want to inflict any additional harm tothe vulnerable. No more than I had all those years ago.

So, because it was hard dating, Nala was the first woman I had over to this apartment since moving in two years ago. I ain’t gonna lie and say I’d not had any pussy here and there, I had but it had been a while and when it was, it was between consenting adults that only wanted to have a brief good time. I knew that Nala and what I wanted with her would never be a fleeting desire. I wanted to know her and be with her, as well as cater to her body and her emotional needs.

Nala was complicated—that I knew already. A mix of serious, too serious, and sweet. She hated vulnerability, yet every inch of her opened to me last night and the night before. She wanted me to love her. She wanted me to prove I wasn’t like the others. Her lips never uttered that, but her soul did, and it was then when I heard her soul crying out, that I realized she was mine. How else could I hear her? And now I was waking up to see her smooth skin glowing under the warm light coming through my curtainless window, seeing her beauty in a way I didn’t know I yearned for until now. But a bit of me opened up to her each time we touched and we’d been touching for two days now.After being at her house Friday night, we hung out all day Saturday before heading here for the evening and sipping wine while staring at each other. We would be screwing again that much was certain but the wine slowed us down and also loosened my lips.

“So you’re telling me you remember me from back at Pitt?”

“That’s what I’m telling you, yes. Why are you so surprised.”

Her shoulders lifted and fell. “It’s just you seemed to be in your own world, or maybe busy, I don’t know.”

“It was both but that has nothing to do with not noticing you. Trust me, I did. That’s why I was shocked when I saw your name listed on the new hire list that Dr. Patton shared with me.”

I debated about whether to tell her something, but she read my expression like a good doctor.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“I chose you.” I spilled the words out without worrying over her response.

Her expression was one of confusion.

“You know how, Pete, Sheila and I usually take turns with onboarding… it wasn’t even my turn yet, but I volunteered to help you get acclimated.”

Her shocked expression eventually settled into a smile. I enjoyed seeing her relaxed and trusting.

“I don’t even know what to say about that.”

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