Page 26 of Mr. Big Stuff

He laughed at that. “Yeah, your mom is amazing.”

The way he looked off in the distance with a grin on his face reminded me of how I’d been doing with Tracey lately. She had me sitting at my desk remembering her fat ass bouncing up and down on my dick. So, I knew where Pops was, and I felt bile rise in my throat because I surely didn’t want to imagine him having those thoughts about my sweet as pie mother.

“Okay Pops. Imma get out your hair. I’ll be back later with Charise.” My nose felt a ton better. I couldn’t be sure if it was my will to leave that did it or the ice, but whatever it was, I was happy.

He chuckled as I placed the bag on the counter, slid off my stool and made way to the door with the quickness.

“I’m glad we had this talk, son.”

As I made my way to the parking lot and I did my best to shake off the feeling of disgust from learning too much about my parents’ lives after divorce, and focus on the lesson here and it was that, when you loved someone, you did it with abandon. You had to stop caring about what made sense and do what works for you and of course that brought me to Tracey.

None of what I’d done with her made sense but she made me happy. I laughed with her. Her lovemaking was heavenly. Her cooking was amazing. She was perfect for me. But I had to honor her brilliance and by carrying on the way we were, I wasn’t doing that. In fact, I was clipping her wings.

There was only one solution that I’d been toying with recently after a talk with Nathaniel and Cameo. It was a just a matter how she’s feel about it.

Chapter17

Tracey

I’d spent the morning cleaning my house from top to bottom while I listened to Summer Walker talking her shit about wanting her man to Pull Up. That song had me all in my feels because I understood the dichotomy of wanting Raymond so much it hurt, but also knowing it was futile.

This was going nowhere.

One more bad decision under my belt, I needed to break free from this, Because I was tired of those late nights where his arm reached for me and pulled me into the best sleep of my life turning into a morning where I felt like … less than my worth. That’s the simplest way to put it. I deservedmore. I deserved my man to be my man. This was chicken head shit! I knew it to. That’s what got me. I headed to my bedroom where Fatty roused long enough to watch me remove “Raymond” from my nightstand drawer, plug him in to get charged, and then close her disgusted eyes to return to her tuna fish dreams.

I called my mom and talked to her for a bit until she wanted to know what was bothering me. I didn’t want to tell her all of this. This might be when she would become disappointed in me. Besides that, how do I explain to her how good the dick was? I didn’t want to imagine she understood that feeling though it was unrealistic. She was a woman and a beautiful one at that. It’s just not the things we spoke about, and I was good keeping it that way.

After hanging up with her, I vegged out on my sofa, looking crazy with my hair all over the place when he sent me a text.

“I need you to be dressed by six. And bring a change of clothes too.”

For a moment I was so excited I stubbed my toe on the edge of the couch to go and do his bidding. Not gonna lie like I wasn’t. But my steps slowed because one, I needed to hobble, and two because all this sounded like more of the same. I’d end up with dick and dreams and be right back at work tomorrow. Nah.

That’s okay. I’m busy.

Busy with what?

Minding mine.

Get ready, Tracey.

No, thank you.

Who the hell he thinks he was. I was not his employee on Sunday.

I tossed my phone down on the couch and went back to watching the last episode ofInsecure.

Damn Issa really ended up with her man and her friend. My eyes filled with tears as I wolfed down more chocolate ice cream covered in whipped cream. At least someone was living their best time. Wait, everyone was living their best life. Everyone except me! Now I was pissed because I was sitting here giving Raymond the coochie. Good coochie too. Coochie that he obviously couldn’t find nowhere else. I had exotic, gourmet, one of a kind coochie, and this negro couldn’t commit to me!

I picked my phone back up and got bold with it.

What the fuck you want?

Excuse me? ??

You read that right.

Open the door.

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