Page 80 of Our Secret to Keep

He looks confused and then says, “Tu es à moi?”

I couldn’t even begin to spell the words because I sucked at French. None of the words sound anything like they are written. Even with a fluent tutor, I still couldn’t understand what River was saying. And until now, I didn’t care. Now, I need to know what he muttered in the heat of the moment.

I nod. “What does it mean?”

Blush creeps up his neck, and he buries his face in my neck. “Whatever you want it to.”

I want it to mean you love me. I want it to mean you will never leave me. I want it to mean we can stay like this forever, our hearts beating as one. And I wish I had the nerve to say all this to you.

I etch my fingers into his tight ass, enjoying how firm he is in my hands. “Ah, fuck. Yes. Come for me.”

As River’s cum spills onto my abdomen, I cum in my boxers. Sticky and sweaty, we stay like this for a second. It takes a solid minute before River’s trance breaks and reality sets in for him.

“Oh god,” he mutters and slides off me. “What did we just do?” River curls his knees into his chest and tugs at the ends of his dark brown hair. “I promised to help you and?—”

“Hey.” I grab his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s fucking not, Nate!” River has tears in his eyes. “I told Dr. Swanson I would keep you in line, and we just… What the fuck did we do? I’m a terrible influence.”

“If anyone is a bad influence, it’s me. And it was nothing. Just two friends getting off.”

“With each other,” he points out. “That’s not fucking normal, Nate.”

“Is this any different than when I ask you to jerk me off?”

River hops out of bed. “No, it was so much worse. I can’t believe you! Why do you keep putting me in this position? You fucking promised to try!”

I toss my legs over the side of the bed, still getting my bearings from that orgasm. “Dr. Swanson said I can come once a day.”

He wraps a towel around his waist, shaking his head. “Not with me. With your hand.”

Furious, River flings open the door, disappearing into the hallway before we can finish our discussion. I don’t go after him. River needs his space to work out his feelings. And I’m left with the nagging thought that I ruined our friendship forever. This time, I might have lost him for good.

CHAPTER26

RIVER

After Nate usedmy body this morning, I felt an intense amount of shame and disgust. Mostly because I used him, too. Our relationship is turning into something ugly and unfamiliar.

I took a shower and left for practice without him. Nate didn’t even bother texting or calling. He knew he fucked up, stumbling onto the ice with a lazy grin and sadI’m sorry.

I need advice from someone who understands my predicament. So, I find myself standing outside Professor West’s office, staring at the calendar on the wall, worrying this is a terrible idea. He has office hours for another hour. No one has penciled their name in the last slot of the day. So, I add mine and knock on his door.

Once.

Twice.

The door flings open.

All smiles, Professor West seems happy until his eyes land on me. His expression transforms into something darker, conflicted.

He’s dressed in black slacks that hug his perfect thighs. A white dress shirt with a dark blue tie beneath a black cardigan. His black hair is styled off his forehead, spiked with gel.

He looks good. Too fucking sexy to be a professor.

“River, what are you doing here? I thought I made myself clear.”

“I need to talk.” Clutching the strap of my backpack, I step toward him. “Can I come in?”

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