Page 95 of Our Secret to Keep

River backs me into the desk until my legs hit the wood. My body responds immediately to his dirty words. I reach down to touch myself over my pants, and he smirks.

He pushes on my shoulder, forcing me to sit on the desk, and knocks open my legs with his knee. “I dream about you licking my asshole. Shoving your fingers inside me, working my inner walls until I come in your mouth.”

My mouth falls open, and for once, I’m speechless.

He stands between my thighs and clutches my chin. “I have dreamed of having you in every way possible, Nate. And I’m ninety percent sure I’m gay.”

“Since when?” I choke out, still shocked by his speech.

“Always,” he says without hesitation. “I knew for sure the first time we jerked off together. I stared at your dick the entire time.”

I feel a range of emotions, starting with surprise, moving on to confusion and fear, and then sadness before settling on excitement. At least I read him correctly. All the signs were there, ready for me to take my head out of my ass.

“I figured you were bisexual after I caught you watching gay porn. And you get off to my videos every night. I didn’t want to push you to tell me. But I knew.”

River shrugs. “I feared losing you. I was afraid saying the words aloud would change us.”

Taking his hand in mine, I rub the pad of my thumb over his knuckles. “I felt it the first time we were both inside Samantha.” I lick my lips at the memory, my dick twitching in response. “When I felt you coming and liked it, I knew something had changed in me. With us. But it probably happened sooner than that. I just didn’t notice it.”

River slides his hands up my chest, igniting a fire inside me. “Do you like other men?”

I shake my head. “Only you.”

“And you still want to fuck women?”

I nod.

His expression darkens, a storm cloud crossing over his handsome face, and then he steps back. “I can’t do this with you. Not unless you’re willing to go all in.”

“What’s the big deal? We’ve been fucking girls together for years. Passing them back and forth, taking turns. This is what we do. It’s who we are.”

“Not anymore.” River inches away, only partially holding my gaze. “I refuse to fuck another woman even if it means never touching you like that again.”

I rise from the desk and close the distance between us. As I step toward River, he moves backward. I continue advancing until he has nowhere to go.

Pushing him into the wall, I lean forward to kiss his lips. Let them brush for a second. His lips are soft, just as perfect as I had imagined. Most nights, I lay awake, fisting my cock and envisioning his kissable lips and how they would feel on every inch of my body.

I put my hands on both sides of his head, caging him against the wall. “Kiss me.”

He glances at my lips and then turns his head to the side as if it’s too painful to look at me. “No.”

“I need to know why I feel this way.” Gripping his chin, I steal his gaze back to me. “Why do I have these cravings?”

“I can’t answer that question for you. It took me years to come to terms with my sexuality, which is why I have to protect myself from getting hurt.”

“I would never hurt you.”

River shakes his head. “You might not mean to, but if you change your mind about us, it will wreck me.”

I take his hand and hold it over my jeans so he can feel my hard cock. “Only you can help me with this.”

“I need time to think. To clear my head.” He ducks under my arm and heads toward the door, teasing me with his tight ass. “I’m going for a run. Don’t follow me.”

“Run away, River,” I shout as he exits my room. “You’re good at doing that.”

CHAPTER31

RIVER

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