Page 93 of Our Secret to Keep

Wheneverhervoice enters my mind, my stomach cramps. Every inch of my skin feels like it’s peeling from my bones. I close my eyes and block out her voice, attempt to forget about those awful fucking nightmares.

“It’s your name,” Dad shouts.

“No, it’s fucking not. Don’t call me again.”

I end the call and toss the phone across the room. It hits the wall and lands by the open closet. A second later, someone knocks on my door.

I throw a pillow at the door. “Fuck off!”

“It’s just me,” River says, his voice deep and smooth. “Let me in, Nate.”

“No.”

“Stop being a dick,” he growls. “Open this damn door before I break it down.”

“Get lost, Riv. I want to be alone.”

“I don’t care.” He bangs on the wood. “I will kick this fucking thing down if you don’t get off your ass?—”

I yank him inside the room before he can finish his thought and push him against the closed door. “What do you want?”

River scowls. “You left me.”

“So? Do you need me to walk you home? You’re not my fucking girlfriend.”

“Nate, stop.” His hands slide up my chest, awakening my cock. “You’re mad. I get it. Tell me what you need.”

“I need you to go away.”

Liar.

To prove my point, I turn away from him, but River comes up behind me.

He hooks his arms around my middle, chin resting on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about what I said in the locker room. I know this is hard for you.”

I sigh. “It is.”

“I’m proud of you.”

His words bring a smile to my face. “I haven’t had sex in forever… and I’m only jerking off once a day. I deserve a reward.”

River groans. “Nate, you have to follow the program. It will work if you stick with it.”

“You get to have sex,” I fire back at him, spinning around to face him. “It’s not fucking fair.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since Samantha.” He places his hands on my shoulders, our lips so close we could touch. “You want a reward?”

I bob my head.

River holds out his palm, wiggling his long fingers. “Show me your journal.”

Oh god.

Not this shit again.

Ignoring his request, I sit on the bed and grab the remote, flicking through the channels.

River stands between my spread thighs. “Dr. Swanson asked you to write down your sexual thoughts for a reason.”