Page 78 of Our Secret to Keep

“Okay.” He licks his chapped lips. “Think you can go back to sleep?”

His lashes flutter, and I can see he’s fighting to stay awake for me.

“Yes,” I lie, even though my pulse is pounding in my ears and my heart is racing.

I hate that my shitty life keeps him up at night. River is so selfless that he would give up anything for me. He’s already given too much and needs to be at his best for our next game.

“Are you sure?”

No.

“Yes.”

He pats his chest, seeing through my bullshit, knowing what I need. “Come here.”

Like we’re lovers, he coaxes me closer with the invitation. The second my head hits his chest and I hear the steady beat of his heart, I close my eyes.

“You’re safe, Nate.” River curls his arm around me, his hand on my upper back. “I know today was hard. But we will get through it together. I promise.”

That’s all I need to hear before I drift to another place without a dream or nightmare.

* * *

Somethingwarm and soft but also a little hard touches my cheek. I lean into it to experience the feeling more. A musky scent and clean linen fills my nostrils. I burrow my nose into another soft space.

“Nate?”

I open my eyes to find my arm draped over a man’s bare, muscled chest. My nose shoved into the crook of his neck. And my lips on his skin. Then, I see the tattoo above his right nipple.

C'est la vie.

River.

Lifting my head, I stare into his tired green eyes. They’re glassy and hooded, a sign he didn’t sleep well because of me.

“Did I keep you up with my nightmares?”

He shakes his head. “No, you slept through the night.”

Of course, he didn’t answer my question. Knowing River, he stayed up and worried about me. I rarely dream in his bed. River keeps the nightmares away.

I inch my hand lower and accidentally graze his cock. It’s hard, tenting the sheet covering us.

“Morning wood,” he says, looking mortified, his cheeks flushed.

Just seeing the outline of his hard dick makes me think about sex. I want to make another porno for him just to listen to him come from my side of the wall while I get off to his moans.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I’m hard.

Painfully so.

Like clockwork, I wake up every morning with an erection. Sometimes, several times a night. I know it’s probably because I have to piss… or had a filthy dream. But being hard always leads to me watching porn, and that usually ends with wanting the real thing.

“Nate, no.” River clutches my wrist as I touch my cock. “No sex today.”

“Dr. Swanson said I can jerk off,” I say, tossing the covers off my legs.

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