Page 52 of Our Secret to Keep

When I first started catching feelings, I thought my interest in men was specific to Nate. He was always there, filling every inch of space in my life. How could I not notice him, especially with him preferring to sleep naked and only wearing clothing when he felt like it?

“I don’t want you to change,” I say and mean it. “I love who you are, Nate. But I just think…”

“Say it,” he snaps.

I hold my head high despite the pounding ache in my skull. Hangovers suck.

“Go ahead. Just rip the Band-Aid off, Riv.” He gets in my face. “Fucking say it.”

I drop the helmet on the bench. “What do you want me to say?”

“You want this to end,” he whispers as if he’s afraid saying the words aloud will make it happen. “You and me. The girls. Everything.”

“Of course not,” I fire back, furious he would think that.

You’re too addicting.

“Good,” he says through clenched teeth. “Then stop fucking bringing it up. Between you and Samantha, I don’t know which of you is worse.”

He leans closer, his breath fanning over my lips.

Kiss him.

Do it, you coward.

See if he’ll kiss you back.

My heart screams one thing, but my body won’t allow me to make the first move. Not when I know what’s at stake. If I kiss Nate, our lazy Sundays will end.

Weare over.

So, I back away a few inches.

He does the same.

Nate picks up my helmet and hands it to me. “We good?”

I nod, smiling through the lie.

No, I’m not good.

“There’s a new superhero movie,” Nate tells me as we head toward the locker room. “Wanna see it? Or there’s a horror one that looks good.”

“Whatever you want.”

Spending time with Nate is my only priority. We could sit and watch paint dry for all I care.

“Horror,” he says with a creepy grin. “I’m in the mood to be scared.”

Nothing scares Nate, though.

Well, one thing does.

Losing me.

And that gives me power.

CHAPTER18