Page 24 of Our Secret to Keep

“Why?”

He rolls his broad shoulders. “I wish I could tell you. It’s just a feeling.”

River can’t answer me because there’s nothing wrong with Samantha. She’s perfect for us. He knows this but won’t allow himself to get too involved.

“I need sex.” I hold out my hand so he can see how much I’m shaking. “It’s bad, Riv. Wanna jerk off with me?”

“No.”

Sighing, I lean against the wall and look at the ceiling. “Why am I like this?”

“You know why. I think it’s time for you to consider going to therapy again.”

When left to my own devices, I act out. My skin is ready to peel off my bones. The craving is back and rearing its ugly head. Sex is an obsession for me. I think about it constantly. All day on repeat, dirty thoughts race through my head.

I would find another girl to satisfy my needs, but River has a hard rule. One girl at a time. Without Samantha here, I have no choice but to seek other forms of relief.

“You can jerk off without me,” River suggests.

I shake my head.

Here’s the thing. Sex has nothing to do with River, yet it has everything to do with him. I can’t explain it. He healed me from the worst trauma of my life. River was there for me when I thought I would never recover.

My sex addiction and River go hand-in-hand. I fear what will happen when he’s not around, traveling the country with an NHL team… and I’m stuck here.

I give him my best sad face, batting my long lashes. “Will you do it for me?”

River’s hand feels incredible on my dick. He knows how much pressure to apply and does this twisty thing with his wrist. Unlike with women, I don’t have to give him instructions. My best friend knows my body as well as his own.

“Nate, stop it.” His eyebrows knit together. “You’re out of fucking control.”

“Fine. I’ll deal with this on my own.”

Done with this conversation, I slide off the bed and race downstairs. In the living room, I find a handful of my teammates who live in the house with River and me. They will follow me down the rabbit hole if I lead the way.

“Who wants to go to Lucky’s?” I stand at the center of the living room and face my roommates sitting on the sectional couch. “My treat.”

Parker Hale peels his eyes from the book on his lap. “It’s Tuesday night, Brooks.”

“So,” I snap. “Does your dick not work on Tuesday?”

He rolls his blue eyes. “Asshole.”

I sit on the cushion beside him, grab the book from his lap, and toss it onto the floor. “You love strippers. How much did you drop on that chick with those huge fake tits last week?”

He slides a hand through his short, black curls, and his T-shirt rides up his toned stomach. For a dude, he’s good-looking and fit. He’s muscular but not bulky, yet nowhere as ripped as me.

“You’re paying?”

I flash a victorious smirk. “Hell, yeah. Grab your coat.”

“I’m down.” Carter Hayes rises from the couch and stretches his arms above his head. “Never turn down free pussy. That’s my fucking motto.”

“That’s the spirit,” I tell him.

Carter is tall and blond, his hair cropped on the sides and longer on the top. Still wet from the shower, it flops onto his forehead and hangs over his right eye.

“Pick me, pick me,” Kevin Monroe says, laughing, the defenseman’s hand raised like he’s volunteering forThe Hunger Games.

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