Page 6 of Never Been Worse

“Damn girl, I don’t blame you,” the officer says, pausing to take a look at me. “How long were you together?”

“Four years,” I admit.

She looks at me, assessing and looking at me in a new light. “Next time, don’t get caught.”

I laugh at her advice, then nod as she opens the door to a secluded room. There’s a small metal table inside, and my stomach churns as I see my ex for the first time since that horrible night.

“Here’s how this is going to go,” Jeremy says as soon as I sit down, leaning back with his arms crossed on his chest, face smug as can be. I hate this. I hate that Igavehim this, that I let my anger and frustration win in this way.

“You’re looking at a huge fine I know you probably can’t afford.” I open my mouth to argue, but he keeps talking, steamrolling me the way I now realize he always has. A lot of things have become awfully clear in the past week since the breakup, but mostly how the relationship I had convinced myself was idyllic was anything but. “As well as a list of charges that will go on your permanent record. I want you to know, if we don’t settle this right now, I’m pushing for the most I can get.”

I take in a deep breath, knowing this to be true, but then he catches me off guard again.

“This wouldn’t just destroy you, either. Julianne works with children. Ava runs a business teaching women self-defense. Having a criminal stalking record won’t look great for either of them.” My stomach drops, my head going light as a cruel smile slides across his face.

“Jeremy, come on. It was just a dumb prank.”

His lips tip up further, and he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. In the eyes of the law, you fucked up, Harper, and you’re at my mercy. Unless you want your friends to suffer.”

It’s then it all really hits me: he never loved me. Not even for a minute.

I’m shaking when I leave the room, leaving Jeremy. Jules and Ava meet me in the waiting room before we’re released. It’s a full-body shake like a freaking chihuahua, my hands barely able to sign my name as I get my things back.

“Are you okay?” Ava asks, reading me, but I put on my mask and give her a small smile.

I’ve always been good with a mask, hiding all of these unnecessary and incredibly pesky emotions away where they can’t bother me at all. “Totally fine,” I say back.

Jules gives me a hard look, opening her mouth to say something, probably to call me out on my bullshit. Fortunately, our names are called again, and I’m saved from further interrogation as we walk to the front of the police station.

“You’re in so much trouble,” Jaime says as soon as we’re in sight, quickly walking our way and pulling Ava into his arms.

“You promise?” Ava says with a sneaky smile, and her husband looks down at her, a look of all-consuming adoration with just the barest hint of irritation written across his face for all to see before he smiles and presses his lips to hers, mumbling something I can’t and probably don’t want to hear.

“Sorry,” Jules says as she walks to her fiancé, Nate, who pulls her into his arms. “The forking was what took the longest. Probably could have done without it.” She gives him a hesitant smile, and he shakes his head, rolling his eyes at her. He’s more entertained than Jaime looks, and considering the stories I’ve heard about him and his sisters pranking each other, it tracks.

“Told you to stick to just the glitter,” he whispers low, pulling her into him.

“Yeah, yeah. Where’s Sophie?” she asks, looking around for Nate's now six-year-old daughter, who is nowhere to be seen.

“With Claire. She’s very excited to hear about your time in the clink.”

Jules’s head moves back, looking at Nate with confusion. “You told Sophie I got arrested?”

“No, Claire did. She’s very interested in having a criminal in the family. Pretty sure she activated the family phone tree to spread the news.”

“Dear God,” Jules groans, putting her face in Nate’s chest as he chuckles, the sound filling the cold and lifeless police station.

And as I stand there, watching my two best friends, the two women I would give everything in the world up for, the two women I did just give so much up to protect, in the arms of the men they love, the glaring evidence of the families they’re creating in front of me, it hits me.

I have no one.

I’m an only child who rarely speaks to her divorced parents except for the requisite holiday or birthday call. I’m single after leaving my long-term relationship, and I’m quickly being left behind, at no fault to my friends.

It’s at this moment that I realize why I stayed for so long. Even when Jeremy made me feel like shit or when I knew logically I would and could never have something lasting with him. If I’d been brave and ended things long before they got out of control, I wouldn’t have to face this all-consuming loneliness.

My friends have found their people and are making their own families, and I’m…not. That clock I had hidden under a pillow starts ticking loudly, telling me I’m running out of time to figure out what I want out of my life and who I want to spend it with.

A familiar face walks up to me as I keep my gaze on my two best friends. His hand gently touches my elbow before pulling back like he crossed some invisible line he isn’t sure he is allowed past and knocking me out of my trance.

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