Page 9 of Never Been Worse

“You’re going because it benefits my charity and because you have something up for auction,” she says, reminding me of the one custom gownI put up for auction. “You agreed to go over a month ago, and I’m not letting this asshat get in the way of that. There are going to be a lot of people there to network with.”

“A lot of people to whisper about what a psycho I am too,” I counter, waving my arms. “To whisper about how I’m spiraling and?—”

“Or to whisper about how good you look despite it all. How you walked in there with your chin held high and didn’t let those dumb people intimidate you. Shoulders back, tits out, Harper.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. “That’s all fun and cute, but I’m in a media firestorm, Ava.”

“And you’relettingthem win by not going out there and telling the world you’re totally fine. By not going out and explaining that, yeah, you were a woman scorned because your douche of an ex sold you lies of forever only to be fucking some other girl on the side. You can tell your side, Harper. You’re just choosing not to.”

She’s right, of course. I could tell my side, or, at least, part of it. I had a lawyer look over the contract I signed at the station to make sure I didn’t sign my life away. While there’s ayou can’t tell anyone about thisclause, there is noyou can’t talk shit about meclause. But I’m still scared.

“Ava—”

“I’m not taking no for an answer, so good luck with that,” she says before emptying the garbage can into the large bag and tying it off. “I’m going into Jules’s house to grab more bags, and when I get back, you’d better be in the shower. “

“Ava, I can’t. I…” I start looking around. “I don’t even have anything to wear!” I say suddenly, the answer so obvious. “I can’t?—”

“Yes, you do. You’re wearing this,” she says, moving to her bag and tugging out a beaded gown I made her for her tour that she never wore.

“That’s for you,” I say.

“And I never wore it. We’re the same size; you’re just a bit taller.”

“So it will be too short,” I say, clinging to any argument I can, even though I know the dress that was a bit too long on her for her likes will hit perfectly just above my knee.

“No, it’ll be perfect,” she says, hanging it next to the gown I’m working on. “Now go, Harper. I’m serious. Don’t let me down.”

It’s a low blow to tell me that, but I know she did it on purpose. And it does its job, making me sigh because she’s right: I told her I’d come to this as her date because Jaime would be busy, and I can’t back down, even if I’m in crisis mode. My hands move to the clip in my hair, the grime and knots holding it nearly in place without the clip. I cringe as I reach for a brush.

Ava smiles, knowing she won.

“Perfect. Maybe double-wash your hair. And don’t forget to shave! You never know who you’ll meet,” she says with a wink, and before I can even argue and tell her there is no universe where I’m dating, much less fuckingsomeone in the nextdecade, she’s out the door, on a mission as always, and I’m left to hop into the shower and try to put my life back together.

FIVE

HARPER

Five hours, an everything shower, a few tiny tweaks to the dress, and a thick layer of makeup to cover my dark circles later, Ava and I walk into the charity event, and even though I’m nauseous almost the entire time, which I’ll never tell her, I’m glad I’m here.

When you put yourself in a bubble of your own demise, you forget that the rest of the world keeps turning and, more importantly, that not everyone is as attuned to your crumbling castle as you are. Where I expected glares and cold shoulders, I got wide smiles andso good to see you’s, and even a few inquiries on my dress and business card exchanges.

There have been a few awkward moments—colleagues of Jeremy’s I recognize from fashion shows or the few work events he’d bring me to whisper to one another—but overall, it’s been…fine.

As seems to be her way, Ava gave me exactly what I didn’t realize I needed, and suddenly, I can breathe a bit again. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Jeremy may have hurt me, may have fucked me up a little and slowed me down, but with some vitamin D and fresh hair (everyone knows nothing will ever change your outlook on life more than washing your hair and blowing it out for the first time in a while), I feel like I can tackle this disaster.

My name and reputation are tarnished, but not destroyed. I’d thank Ava for the reminder that life goes on, but then I’d have to hear a decade ofI told you so’s,so I decide against it.

“Oh, there’s Jennifer,” Ava says as we wander around the room, looking at the auction items. “I’m going to go say hello.”

I nod, then tip my head toward the other side of the room.

“I’m going to go use the ladies’ room quickly before the auction starts,” I say.

Ava nods, and we go our separate ways.

It’s when I’m about to leave the bathroom stall after giving myself a small pep talk, mentally planning how to move forward with my career with new vigor despite the roadblock, that I hear it. The click of heels filling the marble bathroom, followed by giggling women.

“I’m going to win the dinner with Wes Holden for Jeremy, of course,” a familiar voice says, my stomach falling to the floor and the thin grasp I’d just gotten on my good mood vanishing. Shifting toward the door quietly to hear better, my heart pounds. “You know, as a thank you for helping me with my line.”

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