“My superpower?”
“I’ve never met anyone with more empathy than you. I’ve never met anyone who sees fairy tales in everyday moments and who believes in the best of things. Ava, she’s our go-getter. I don’t even think she thinks the sky is the limit. She sees something, she wants it, she gets it. She saw Jaime and made that man hers.
“I am the realist: I overanalyze and pick everything apart, and it’s worked out well for me. I have Jeremy, and I have the fashion line, and I’m happy.”
I don’t touch on how she doesn’t even seem to be convincing herself on that.
“But you, Jules, You’re the dreamer, the optimist. You see the best in everyone, and in the past year, you’ve seen that as a weakness. You’ve hidden it so far, and we were worried it would be gone forever. But it’s back, and you seem…like you again. Your romanticism isn’t a weakness, Jules. It helps you see the real potential of things and turn them into reality. Just look at this place,” she says, waving her hand at the mess left from the party. “First Position was just a daydream, what, three? Four years ago? And now it’s booming. You’re proving everyone wrong, and that’s because you liked this run-down building and knew the potential.”
“And look what happened,” I say with a scoff. “I didn’t know what I was doing, and it flooded.”
“There’s mishaps in even the most angst-free movies, Jules. If this was a movie, that would be the beginning of your own fairy tale. You just have to be brave enough to take the leap.”
I wait long moments before finally,finally, I confess what’s been eating at me for a year.
I felt the way I changed when I thought Nate broke my heart, and I didn’t like the road I felt I could fall down.
“What if it turns me into her?” I whisper.
“What?”
“My mom. What if I get my heart broken and I turn into her? Turning marriages into opportunities and using people. I remember that she used to believe in love. And now she’s some Stepford robot.”
Ava rolls her eyes like that’s a ridiculous question.
“You could never turn into her. Have you met you, Jules? You’re a hopeless romantic. You believe in true love at every turn, except when it’s looking you dead in the eyes.” Harper glares at me like evensheknows that what Ava is saying is true.
“You think Nate’s my true love, too?” I ask.
She sighs, looking out the window and not at me when she answers.
“I think I’m too much of a realist to believe in something as grand as that, but if I did, I’d think you found it. I think Ava found it. I don’t think whatever higher being that exists would put Nate in your path twice if there wasn’t a reason. I know that when you lost him, your mood had never been worse.”
I glare at her and smile.
“I think tomorrow you have to put on your big girl panties and talk to him. Tell him what you just told us and that you’re scared, but you want to try.” That makes my stomach flip. “You tell him you’re crazy in love with him and it’s scary, but that being scared is a part of life.”
“I’m sorry,what?” I ask, that stomach pit turning into full-blown nausea. Ava rolls her eyes.
“Harp, she’s clearly not ready to addressthattruth right now,” she says. “Even if we all know it is true. And Jules, he loves you too, which I think you know.”
Do I know that? Do I know that Nate loves me? Or that I love him? That’s crazy, right? A month ago, I was swearing off even theideaof love, and now…
“But…but it’s been a month,” I argue, and Ava gives me a small, pitying smile.
“And when does time ever come into play with matters of the heart? And it’s been ayear, Jules.” She sighs, then links her arm through mine. “But enough moping around for now. I think we’re mostly done cleaning up. We can go to my place and watch movies and dissociate until I have to take you home. You can talk to Nate in the morning.” I smile at her weakly.
“You know what this calls for?” Harper asks, grabbing a package off the counter.
“Cookies?” Ava asks, and Harper smiles wide.
“Cookies. Cookies cure everything,” she says, looking at me before putting the leftover snacks into a bag to bring to Ava’s where we eat way too much junk, laugh way too hard, and drink a bit too much wine, so Jaime ends up being the one who has to drive me home.
When I eventually make my way into the cottage, throwing my bag on the floor, I see a vase on the tiny counter, filled with peonies. My stomach flips and simultaneously plummets when I read the note.
See you tomorrow for coffee. Miss you. -N
It’s then, I know that no matter what, I have to talk to Nate tomorrow, and I have to be brave.