Page 58 of If This Was a Movie

“No, no, I was just wasting time, scrolling through social media. I’d much rather wander the towns and shop with you.” She grabs her to-go cup and smiles. “Let’s go shopping till we drop.”

With a groan, I grab her bag and sling it over my shoulder.

“Why do I feel like I’m about to regret this?”

“Because you probably are. I love shopping.” I roll my eyes, and she laughs, but she has no idea that even though I haven’t wanted to step into a store for anything other than food or home improvement things for years, choosing to avoid my least favorite thing and shop online, I’d shop all day every day if it meant I could do it with her at my side.

“So who’s on your list?” Jules asks as we step out of the coffee shop once she finishes her drink. We move toward where my car is parked to put her duffel and laptop inside before we walk the three blocks to mainstream Evergreen Park, lined with stores and boutiques, perfect for shopping. There are workers and volunteers everywhere, putting the finishing touches on street lights, benches, trees, and shrubs to make sure everything is perfect for tonight.

“Uh,” I say, putting a hand behind my neck and holding myself there. My free arm brushes against hers, and I curse the thick clothes between us, desperate to feel her against me. I kissed her last night, but I feel like I’m having withdrawals from her, which is insanity considering I didn’t even see her for nearly a year. “My mom, Sophie. Sutton, Sloane, and Claire…”

She snorts out a laugh. “So, everyone?”

“I’ve gotten my dad,” I say defensively, shoulder-checking her a bit, and she giggles. She stumbles a bit and I use it as an opportunity to put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to steady her and not letting go. “And gift cards for Sophie’s teachers. I also got the guys who work for me. It’s just…”

“The girls?”

“The girls,” I say with a laugh. “It doesn’t help that Sophie refuses to give Santa a list.”

Jules sighs and leans into me a bit.

Another win. A subtle one, but a win all the same.

“Next time I watch her, I’ll try and get her to put together a formal list,” Jules says. “We’ll make a whole thing of it. Stickers, markers, and glitter glue.” She looks almost as excited as I knowSophie will be, and I laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to clean it all up before you’re home.”

“No, no need. I was just thinking how much Sophie is going to love that. She loves her some glitter.”

“So I’ve noticed. A girl after my own heart,” she says with a laugh.

“She’s off from school on Friday,” I say. “Any chance you can watch her?”

“Lucky for you, I have no classes tomorrow, so I‘d be more than happy to. We’ll have a girls’ day. Paint our nails, watch movies, eat junk food…” she starts, smiling as we move toward a boutique I know Claire has shopped at before.

“She’ll really love that.” I open the door, and Jules steps in, but instead she turns to look at me over her shoulder.

“So will I.” She smiles and claps her hands excitedly before stepping in further, me right behind. “Ooh, we can bake cookies!” I chuckle as we move to the wall where a plethora of girly tchotchkes are lined up.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever met who babysits and makes it into an entire itinerary.”

“Are you joking with me? This is going to be a landmark day. The first Jules and Soph day. A special occasion to celebrate if I ever heard of one.”

I think about how perfect it would be to give my daughter that all of the time, Jules and Soph days. To have a person by my side who loves my girl as much as I do.

“You do that a lot, make special occasions out of ordinary days. Snow day snowman pancakes, glitter glue for Christmas lists. You’re throwing a party for the kids?”

She nods before explaining.

“I don’t know. I like to celebrate the little things. Life has enough strife. If you romanticize the little things, every moment can feel special.”

I love this about her—how she looks at the world like it’s some fantasy she gets the honor of living, while the rest of us are over here just trying to survive each day. I wonder what the world would look like through Jules’s rose-colored glasses. She makes it seem like after last year, she took them off, but I think she just hid them behind darker ones, hiding her softness that I love so much.

“Were you always that way? I think Sophie’s a bit like that too,” I ask.

“Oh, for sure. I know a kindred spirit when I see one. And yeah. I’d do everything I could to make things special. First days of school, last days of school. God, you should see me on my birthday. It can be excessive. Oh! Claire would love this,” she says, lifting a frame in the shape of a heart with a big bow on top. “Put a picture of her and Sophie in it, or a picture Sophie drew?”

“Genius,” I say, leaning to grab a handbasket lined up along the wall and putting it in. Jules grabs a few other things, putting them in beside the frame.

“You can add these,” she says, grabbing a pair of fluffy socks. “And a pack of those chocolate bars she likes, and you’re all set.” She gestures to a second matching frame and a coffee mug. “These are for my best friend, Ava. She loves this store too. They’re almost the same person, if I’m being honest.”

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