Page 7 of All Twerk, No Play

“That one’s your doing,Gacelita,” I said, nudging Grace’s shoulder in appreciation. “You connected me to the women’s shelter for their self-defense classes. After thirty hours of training about domestic violence, I watched this documentary about how Tina left Ike with only thirty-seven cents and a gas card.”

“There he goes again,” Rodriguez whined. “And don’t even get him started on the Foo—”

Kate smacked his bicep with such force that I felt it inmyarm.

Guess that was my cue to ramble.

“Aah, the Foo Fighters,” I said, leaning into a favorite rant. They groaned playfully but didn’t leave. “Not the most talented band of their genre—that’s Pearl Jam or Alice In Chains—nor do they have the best singer — hands down, that’s Chris Cornell from Soundgarden.” I pointed at Pike and said, “If you argue it’s Vedder, our friendship is over.”

He chuckled at our longstanding argument… someday he’d realize I was right.

“They’re my favorite because Dave Grohl recorded the first Foo Fighters album solo, playing every instrument himself,” I said, loving that as a guitarist, drummer, and singer, I was close to the same ability. “It’s like musical cross-training.”

“Still pissed you used my guitar to teach yourself and now you’re better than me,” Pike muttered, and I laughed in his face. Pike had loaned me his guitar on the sub. I played for hours, entertaining myself without wifi or sunlight. In exchange, he’d been my first unofficial personal training client.

“You gotta put in the work, bro. You know what I always say…”

“Say yes and figure it out,” he said with an eye roll.

“As long as the question isn’t ‘Don’t you want to re-enlist?’” I teased him. I’d separated from the Navy at my first chance two years ago. I figured I’d have to move back into my mom’s cramped two-bedroom with her and my younger sisters, until Rodriguez called because his building needed a superintendent, a job that came with an on-site apartment. Not sure what to do with my life, I decided to live in a swanky building I could never afford otherwise.

Now, working three jobs as a building superintendent, personal trainer, and musician just to break even, I wondered if I should have re-enlisted too. I’d hated the Navy, but at least Pike had a consistent salary and job security.

“Speaking of which, I’m heading back out to sea next week. Come to my going-away party tomorrow?” Pike asked. My spirits plummeted as I agreed to swing by. I wasn’t surprised—that’s military life—but it was still disappointing to say goodbye to somebody I’d known for most of my adult life. Although I didn’t have the spare cash for a big night out, he deserved a good sendoff.

I threw my tattered backpack over my shoulder and walked beside Kate to the parking lot. She handed back my phone and shoved her hands in her pockets, shivering as the sweat dried on her skin. She zipped up her parka and asked, “You think by this time next year, you’ll have a gym? Maybe somewhere near the Arts District to shorten my commute? My landlord has some vacancies …”

I pulled on a hoodie to hide my hesitation.

It’s not like I hadn’t thought about opening a gym. I could use equipment instead of carrying resistance bands everywhere and work when the weather was shitty, but a commercial space plus the initial expenses was more than I could afford. And I’d be locked into at least a five-year lease, probably ten. Would I still want this in ten years? What if I lost my housing or wanted to leave Saratoga?

A lease locked me in with no escape hatch. And the shitshow with my stepdad’s commercial lease made me justifiably gunshy.

“Maybe next year,” I said as we walked to the parking lot.

“Ask about it at the next incubator meeting,” she suggested, and I sighed. Kate co-chaired the Chamber of Commerce business incubator with her fiancé Paul, but most of members ran real businesses, with employees and inventory and shit. I was just a loudmouth with a great playlist telling people to squat. “Mal’s trying to convince Alex to take it over. His business partner is like, a real estate guru.”

Right, Mallory claimed that her brother’s business partner was the most brilliant person she’d ever met … but if he was anything like that arrogant prick, I didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Then again, I could probably throw Alex pretty far …

I left Kate at her car, walking home for my cooldown. I strolled up Broadway, passing early commuters at the coffee shop. At my building, I took the stairs down to my basement studio. Within ten minutes, I was showered, dressed in my work uniform—khakis and a royal blue polo with the Gramercy condominium logo—and clocking in for my shift by 8:58. Sipping a protein shake, I reviewed the corkboard in the superintendent’s office with my list of maintenance tasks to complete, starting with yet another call to the elevator repair company.

My inbox pinged with an email from my newest tenant in 501—though their paperwork didn’t give their name, listing the purchaser as ‘Obsidian Properties.’ When I’d dropped the key off at Clarke & Associates after closing, I checked for that hot redhead I’d seen on that porch with Mallory last month, but no such luck.

Guess a girl like that doesn’t hang out in a bungalow.

The new tenant had been a nonstop pain in my ass even before moving in, sending a dozen snippy, demanding emails asking me to sign for their deliveries—dozens of boxes from Arhaus and Serena & Lily, not to mention the Neiman Marcus shoeboxes that I’d stacked in their living room.

Thank you for the fruit bouquet. Please send me an invoice for the air mattress loan. - vsb

I guess that meant he moved in. I’d avoided the lobby to prevent getting roped into carrying his luggage or whatever tasks a douche like him would expect.

I shot off a cheerful reply: “No charge, happy to be of service!” with several smiling emojis, remembering my mama’s advice:‘Kill them with kindness, Cruz … especially if they can get you fired.”

"I'm the Only One," Melissa Etheridge

Victoria

Formysixthbirthday,I unwrapped a security badge to my favorite place on Earth: The Sinclair Group headquarters. After kindergarten, my parents’ driver dropped me outside and I proudly walked under that crimson awning, swiped my VIP badge, and rode up to the 78th floor.

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