Page 40 of Training my Human

Girlfriend? I mean, it made sense given the time we’d been spending together, but hearing it kind of made it official.

“Ms. Smith is wanted for questioning.”

“Oh really?” Maddox kept his camera pointed at the man in the suit. “Questioning about what? Who do you work for? I don’t see any badges and no official uniforms. So, not the RCMP or local cops.”

“This doesn’t concern you,” the man barked. “We have authorization from the government to conduct an investigation.”

“Which department? Because I’m pretty sure none of them are allowed to use armed goons to harass citizens. Or do you think you can get away with it because she’s of indigenous background?”

Ooh. He pulled the native card. Not something I ever did because at one sixteenth, I barely ranked and looked nothing like my ancestors.

“Ms. Smith is in serious trouble under the Protected Species Act. If you don’t wish to be charged with abetting her, then you would do well to depart this instant.”

Seeing an opening, I shouted loud enough for the video, “This asshole is accusing me of hiding a dragon in my trailer.”

To his credit, Maddox reacted as a normal person who’d never met a dragon would. He arched a brow and laughed. “Fuck off. No way. Dragons aren’t real.”

“That’s what I said. But Mr. Believes-In-Imaginary-Animals is trying to strong-arm me into confessing I had one in my trailer.”

“A dragon?” Maddox’s mirth deepened. “Holy fuck. Are you being pranked?”

“This is no joking matter, sir,” the suit grumbled.

“Come on, man. A dragon? Couldn’t you have come up with a better excuse to kidnap my girlfriend?

The suit’s face tightened. “We aren’t kidnapping her, simply taking her in for questioning.”

“And I’m going to ask again, by who’s authority? Come on, one of you must have a badge? Something official?” Maddox waggled his phone. “Maybe you could flash a warrant for the live stream? I’m sure the audience would like to see it.”

“No warrants. He said he didn’t need one,” I offered. “And I’m pretty sure this prick and his goons burned down my trailer, looking for the non-existent dragon.”

My actor of a boyfriend shook his head. “Damn. I’m smelling a huge settlement.”

“She committed a crime and as such must answer for it. This is a matter of national security and given you’re impeding it, you’ll now also be taken into custody. Arrest them both.” The suit doubled down.

“Touch me or Pip and you’ll regret it.” Maddox’s expression turned hard. “Now for the last time, I want to know who you work for and what authority you think you have to come onto Pip’s property and threaten her.” Maddox took a second to glance at his phone and smiled. “Well, what do you know? We have an audience that includes a Nisga’a tribal lawyer who says any attempt to arrest my girlfriend will result in them suing.”

“Probably my uncle, Mathew,” I chimed in. He loved litigating perceived bias cases and quite often settled out of court.

The man in the suit couldn’t have looked more constipated if he tried. “You are interfering in a serious security matter. People’s lives are in danger.”

“Really? Why don’t you explain to those watching how Pip constitutes a threat?”

“I’m afraid that information is classified,” was the stiff reply.

“Bullshit, he’s just afraid to say it aloud. He’s accusing me of having a dragon!” I repeated in case those watching had missed me saying it earlier.

“Is that true? Are you accusing her of having a fictional animal in her possession?”

I waited for Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass to admit it on video.

He clamped his lips shut and glared. I wonder if he would have replied if his phone hadn’t suddenly buzzed. He pulled it out, looked at the screen, and scowled mightily before tucking it away.

“Guess this is your lucky day, Ms. Smith. You’re free to go.” The suit glanced at his goons. “Everyone, back to headquarters.”

I almost fist pumped in celebration, but I restrained myself. Barely.

The goons began piling back into vehicles but Mr. Not-Too-Happy narrowed his gaze on me and said in a low mutter meant only for my ears, “You might think you’ve won, but in the end, we will acquire the dragon. And if it happens to die in the process, you’ll only have yourself to blame.”

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