“Are you okay?” he asks, approaching me slowly like I’m a wild animal.
“I’m fine. This will happen on a monthly basis if I don’t take anything to stop it.”
He runs a hand through his silvery white hair, setting the strands askew. “Is it always painful?”
“Depends on the person, I believe. For me they are.”
The soothing thrumming begins to sound from his chest again as he takes another step closer to the bed. He’s out of the clothes from earlier and back in the casual ones he prefers to wear around the house. I swallow past a lump forming in my throat as he takes another slow step toward me and the thrumming becomes louder.
“What is that sound from your chest?”
“It’s meant to comfort.” He’s right beside the bed. “Does it bother you?”
“No, not at all. It is comforting, actually.” I frown, knowing I shouldn’t let him get so close, but all I want is to be held. By him.
“Give me your hand.”
He holds his outstretched for mine. I reach over and place my palm in his. At the contact between us, his shoulders drop, and he releases a long breath. He places my hand on the center of his chest where the vibration comes from, and warmth floods my body. A comforting warmth, not one of desire but safety.
My fingers splay over the muscles of his chest, feeling his breath and heartbeat where we’re in contact. I want him in my bed. He feels like safety and home.
“I know I upset you today, but would you permit me to comfort you?”
“Yes.” My answer comes out hushed.
A slight smile lifts the corners of his lips, and he reaches behind his neck and pulls his shirt off. I scoot over and pull back the corner of the covers for him. He leaves his pants on and climbs behind me. One of his arms snakes under the pillows while the other wraps around my belly.
Being cocooned by such a large male is a new experience. I feel small and safe. Truthfully, that alone makes me uneasy. I wasn’t raised to need this type of comfort, but I can already feel it settling into my bones as I let myself melt against him.
His fingers move in gentle circles over my belly. Part of me wants to push them away, especially now that I know most Zeahirian females are slender and toned. What must he think of my soft, squishy flesh? I’m far from what I believe their beauty standard to be. The only thing that stops me from stopping him is the fact that his movements feel more reverent than anything else.
The tincture from Hyva starts to kick in, and that, mixed with Raiz’s gentle thrumming, lulls me into sleep. Right before I drift off, I swear I feel the ghostly touch of his lips on my shoulder as he pulls me closer to him. But maybe I’m just imagining it because of the vibration of his chest against my back. Either way, I’m more relaxed than I can ever remember being in my entire life.
* * *
At some point in the night, I rolled over and tucked myself against Raiz’s chest. He must be asleep; with every exhale his breath softly blows a piece of hair against my temple. One of his legs is wrapped around me, and a hand has made its way up the back of my shirt.
It feels innocent, though. As if this was the most natural way for us to wind up in each other’s arms when sharing a bed. Part of me wants to touch him in not innocent ways. To run my fingertips over the planes of muscle on his body.
I tilt my head back a bit to check and make sure he’s actually sleeping before I go exploring. He’s touched me a lot, carried me, entered my mind. I should be okay to check his body out, just for science. Collecting data.
His skin is warm under my fingers. It’s smooth when I run them down but slightly rough when I move them back up. I trail my fingertips down to the waistband of his pants and feel what I assume is his cock harden between us.
Oops.
“Enjoying yourself, human?” His voice is thick with sleep and laced with humor.
“I am, actually.” For some reason I don’t feel the need to stop touching him now that he’s awake and I’ve been caught. “Your skin is different than mine.”
“Oh, I’m aware.” His hand strokes up and down my spine. “You’re so soft. I have to wonder if every inch of you feels this good.”
“I’ve never had any complaints.” My breath catches as he brings his hand to my side, cupping my ribcage and stroking his thumb back and forth. If he moved his hand up just a tiny bit, he’d be brushing the bottom of my breast.
“How did you sleep? Are you feeling better?”
Everything comes crashing back to me. He frowns when I scoot away from him, sadness flashing in his eyes. Or maybe it’s not sadness, what do I even know about his emotions? It just feels like sadness somehow.
I sit up and know that I can’t get out of bed until he leaves the room. On the bedside table is a stack of cloths, a folded piece of paper, and another small bottle of the tincture I took last night. I wonder when Vynia and Hyva came back, I didn’t hear them.