“They’ve known me as long as you have.”
“They don’t have the same training as me.”
I grunt in acknowledgement. His sense of smell is the strongest of us all due to his medical training. I sit down in the chair opposite him and brace my elbows on my knees, bending to run my hands through my hair.
The problem with us being mates is that the harder I fight it, the more intense it will be for me. The drive to claim her will make me irrational. I don’t want to force this bond on her, but I don’t want to fall into insanity, either.
“Do you think if she leaves me after this is all done, I’ll be able to maintain my life as is? Could you find some sort of antidote for the bond?”
“Do you really want that?” He frowns and leans forward. “What if the feelings are returned on her end?”
“What if they’re not, but she feels guilty? I don’t want her to feel obligated because some stupid, primal piece of me decided she was meant to be mine.”
My fangs drip with need as the wordsshe was meant to be minefall from my mouth. I swallow, erasing the taste of the toxin that would bind us forever if I were to mark her. My cock thickens at the thought of my fangs sinking into her flesh while I rut into her. What sounds would she make underneath me?
“That’s not how it works, and you know it. Let’s at least be honest with ourselves.”
I’m done with this topic. “Who do you think was in her mind?”
Hyva gives me a look that he clocks the reason for my abrupt change of subject but doesn’t push me. “I don’t know. There are few species that resemble humans throughout the galaxy but none that look identical.”
“And that’s even if he showed up in his true form. What if he was able to change what he looks like?”
“That would be serious power.”
A frightening amount of power. My gifts are among the strongest of Zeahiri. To think there could be beings out there with powers that make mine seem like a child’s is unnerving.
Hyva sits with me in silence, both of our minds whirling with thoughts and plans. After he takes his leave, I strip out of my clothes and get in bed, fighting the desire to go check on her at least once. But that’s the mate bond talking. She’s fine, I’ll know if she’s not.
I force my eyes closed and hope there’s enough going on to distract myself from the nightmares that plague me when I’m home.
* * *
Xarloc, my twin stands over me, talons out and fangs extended. His eyes, a mirror of mine, narrow with rage as I kick his stomach to dislodge him. All around us adults watch from the safety of outside the ring. He races toward me, and I sidestep but not fast enough as his talons scrape along my ribs.
Blood oozes from the wound. The metallic scent of it fuels the bloodlust of the crowd. Even our father has fallen as a feral victim to it. Only our mother watches on in horror as her only two children battle to the death in order to take over the family line.
The last thing I want to do is kill my brother, regardless of how evil he is. He’s half of me, but I have no choice. It’s him or I, and I know what I want to do to make sure this horrific custom ends.
I let him get me back onto the ground, acting as though he’s gained the upper hand again and right as his talons sink into my abdomen, I arch my neck and bite his throat. The rip of skin, muscle, and tendons reverberates down my spine as his hot blood splashes onto my face.
When his body collapses lifeless on top of mine, I feel nothing but soul-crushing guilt. I never liked him, but I never wanted him dead. This is wrong. I want to throw up, and when my head falls to the side, I lock eyes with Neev.
Her violet eyes are big and round as her jaw drops. Tears pour from them as her hand covers her mouth. She’s horrified. She looks at me like I’m a monster. I am a monster.
I reach for her, crawling across the blood-soaked sand, but she takes off running. I can’t speak, my mouth and throat too full of gore. My father hauls me to my feet, a disgusting pride shining brightly through his eyes as he claps me on the back.
“I always knew it would be you.”
* * *
“Raiz.” Gentle hands nudge my shoulder. “Raiz, wake up. You’re having a bad dream.” A firmer push. “Raiz.”
I shoot into a sitting position, reaching for the dagger I keep hidden beside my bed. When I turn my head, I see Neev sitting on her knees beside me. My heart slows as I drop the dagger back into its place.
“I’m sorry.” My hand drops onto her leg.Stars, she’s warm and her skin is so soft.“Are you okay?”
“I’m not the one who was having a nightmare.”