Page 5 of The Secrets We Hide

“My office.”

His office was small and functional, a stark contrast to the expansive elegance of mine. It was filled with the quiet hum of servers and the soft click of keyboards. He gestured to the single guest chair.

“Look, Dominik,” I began, trying to find the right words, the words that wouldn’t shatter the fragile remnants of our friendship while still acknowledging the undeniable shift in our dynamic. “What happened at The Obsidian… it was unexpected. And then seeing you at dinner last night…”

He cut me off, his voice tight. “So, it was just… unexpected? A momentary lapse in judgment?”

There was a raw edge of hurt in his tone that surprised me.

“No,” I admitted, meeting his intense gaze. “It wasn’t just that. There was a connection. A… surprising one. But then Molly…”

“So you’re choosing her?” The question hung in the air, stark and accusatory.

“It’s not about choosing,” I said, frustrated by the simplistic framing of the situation. “I barely know Molly, I had only met her once before at a company party. But there was an undeniable attraction, a curiosity to explore something new.”

“And what about what we explored?” His voice was barely a whisper, the vulnerability in his eyes a stark contrast to his usual guarded demeanor.

“Did that mean nothing?”

The question hit me with unexpected force. No, it hadn’t meant nothing. The intimacy we had shared, the unexpected connection, had stirred something deep within me, something I hadn’t felt in years.

But the implications… the uncharted territory of a relationship with man… it was daunting, terrifying even. But I still wanted to rush over to him and pull him into my arms. I wanted to taste his lips and bury my head into the side of his neck. But I couldn’t tell him that right now.

“It meant something,” I admitted, my voice rough. “But I don’t know what it means, Dominik. I’ve never… I haven’t…”

The words caught in my throat.

He watched me, his expression a mixture of pain and something that looked dangerously close to despair. The silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken desires and the weight of my own internal conflict.

???

Dominik

His presence in my small, functional office felt like an intrusion, a disruption of the carefully ordered world I had created. His words, hesitant and uncertain, echoed the turmoil within me.

“Unexpected.” That was how he described what had happened between us. A momentary lapse. The raw hurt that surged through me at his dismissive tone was sharp and visceral. Had I imagined the connection? The intensity of his gaze, the hesitant touch, the shared vulnerability in the darkness of that private room?

“So, it was just… unexpected?” The question was laced with a bitterness I couldn’t entirely suppress. His denial, his immediate shift of focus to Molly, felt like a betrayal.

“No,” he admitted, his gaze finally meeting mine. “It wasn’t just that. There was a connection.” A flicker of hope ignited within me, only to be quickly extinguished by his next words. “But then Molly…”

“So you’re choosing her?”

The question was a desperate attempt to force a clarity I wasn’t sure I even wanted. The thought of him with her, exploring a connection that should have been ours, was a painful knot in my chest. “It’s not about choosing,” he said, his frustration evident. But his words offered little comfort. He was drawn to her, to something new and perhaps more… conventional?

“And what about what we explored?” My voice was barely audible, the vulnerability I had tried so hard to conceal now laid bare.

“Did that mean nothing?”

His admission that it had meant something offered a fragile sliver of hope, but his subsequent stammering, his inability to articulate what that something was, sent a fresh wave of despair crashing over me.

“I don’t know what it means, Dominik. I’ve never… I haven’t…”

His discomfort was palpable, his internal struggle mirroring my own confusion and longing. But his hesitation felt like a rejection, a confirmation of my deepest fears. That for him, our shared intimacy was an anomaly, a deviation from his carefully constructed heterosexual world.

“And you think I have? Lucas, you are the first man, that I’ve ever touched. You are the first man, that I’ve allowed to touch me. Fuck! Your cock was the first cock that I’ve ever had in my mouth!” I growled.

The silence that followed was heavy with unspoken emotions, with the weight of my own unspoken desires and the crushing realization that they might never be reciprocated in the way I yearned for. The logical part of me knew I should pull back, protect myself from further hurt. But the emotional part, the part that had unexpectedly opened itself to Lucas, felt raw and exposed, clinging to the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, this unexpected connection could still blossom into something real.

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