Page 42 of Shadows of Fate

We’re mates.

How one sentence could unsettle your entire viewpoint on your life was astounding. Finding your soul-bonded mate was almost unheard of in vampire culture. It was a bedtime story you heard as a child—only instead of the vampires it was about elves, which didn’t exist. It was a story, though. Only those the Fates found worthy were gifted a mate, and I wasn’t worthy of such a thing.

I remembered when Cedar first talked to me about the legend of vampires finding their soul bond, and I’d laughed at him.

Lounging under a tall midnight oak tree with Cedar, we were staring at the moon. It was barely there this evening, just a thin strip of silver in the sky.

Cedar and I had just arrived at the Court of Wolves, offering to help one of the covens with a vampire issue, as was the usual. We’d been doing this together for almost tenyears, and I’d learned so much from him. He was truly the best thing I’d ever found in this life—of that I was sure.

I glanced over at my friend, and he looked deep in thought. “What’s on your mind that looks so serious over there?”

Cedar looked over at me and shrugged. “I was just thinking about what my mate is like. If she’s out there somewhere, what is she doing? Is she a vampire too? Is she even alive yet? Fates, I hope she’s alive already.” The last part was a grumbled comment, probably only meant for his ears.

I laughed. “Your mate? What do you mean? Like the soul bond? That isn’t even real, Cedar. Stop wasting your time on fantasies.” I shook my head, but when I looked over at my friend, I realized he wasn’t laughing with me. He was serious. “Cedar… are you being genuine right now?”

He stared at me for a moment and then looked back toward the night sky. “I know you have a hard time trusting the Fates, Silvana, and after everything you’ve remembered over the last fewyears, I get it. I do. But why is it so hard to believe that there is one person out there in this existence who is created to be your perfect match? The other side of your soul?” His voice was quiet. Not condescending, just thoughtful.

I leaned back against the tree and looked back up at the night sky. The stars were bright, and what Cedar said was rolling around in my head.

I took a deep breath and whispered. “It isn’t that I don’t believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I don’t believe there is someone out there forme, Cedar. Someone who will look at this broken mess of a person and just… want to be a part of that. Does that make sense? I don’t think anyone would want to be permanently bonded to someone who can’t even remember when she was born or who her family is.”

Soul bonds, or mates, as some vampires referred to it, were so rare. I hadn’t met any vampires who’d actually had a real soul bond. Sure, there were vampires I’d met who were committed to each other, but none who had that eternal bond that connected them for eternity at a soul level.

When you found your mate, normally you didn’t know until you both exchanged blood and consummated the union. Plus, from my understanding, it all had to be done together. Blood exchange, sex, bond. Plus, everyone’s bonds were different. Some vampires said they could communicate mind-to-mind, others could feel their partner—no matter where they were—and others could feel their partner’s emotions more clearly than their own. Some couples even reported they’d gained more powers than what they had before.

The only thing that remained the same among all of them was the matching marking somewhere on their bodies. Almost like a tattoo, but not. It just appeared after the bond was complete.

Some of the accounts reported feeling a pull toward each other. Something you couldn’t escape or deny. Personally, that sounded terrifying. Especially because I knew my luck. A male would be drawn to me, only to find out how broken I truly am, and they’d want to leave.

Where would that leave me? Broken and alone. Again.

I shook off the negativity. At the end of the day, I had Cedar, who was like a big brother. I had a job that allowed me to learn to protect myself and help other females. I was free. I didn’t want to lose that. No matter what.

I jumped as I felt Cedar reach over and hold my hand. He gently squeezed it.

“You’re not broken, Silv. You’re a little battered and bruised, sure. But never broken. Any male strong enough to deal with your crazy temper, though? They could handle your bruises too,” Cedar said with a smile.

I laughed and playfully smacked his shoulder.

“I don’t need anyone else, Cedar, I have you and my daggers. What else could a female long for?” I replied.

Cedar shook his head, still laughing. We fell into a companionable silence, watching the moon together.

Cedar was wrong, though, not that I’d tell him. I’d been broken. Long before I woke up alone in the snowy forest, part of me knew that I’d always be broken.

I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

* * *

Iwoke up the next evening with a note on the floor in front of my door. I’d decided before sunrise to sneak back into the manor. Not because I had things here, but because there was still a job to do—whether Raiden and I were speaking or not, I had to help those females.

I was supposed to take Raiden with me and meet Cedar a little while after sunset, so I knew I needed to grab blood and be a big girl.

So what? We were apparently mates, according to Allie. The girl was still just that. A girl. Her powers weren’t exact or all-knowing. I wasn’t even sure exactly what she’d told Raiden.

Was there a draw between us? Of course. The male was tall and absolutely built of desire and sin. I’d literally dreamed of how his hair would look loose when he was above me, using my body for his own pleasure. But I’m sure most females who looked at him thought the same exact thing.

The thought of that made my magic thrash beneath my skin. Throwing the blanket off myself and rising from the bed, I realized quickly that the blanket I’d been using was now solid ice.Lovely.

---