Page 53 of Four Fiances & I

“Jazzy, are you okay? What’s happened?” I notice that he doesn’t come closer. I refuse to let him hold himself back, so I walk up and wrap my arms around his waist.

For a moment, he freezes before letting out a deep breath and holding me back whilst burying his face in my hair.

We stand there like that for a few moments. Neither of us saying anything, just taking a moment to be in each other's arms.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I lean back a little to look him in the eye while staying in the safety of his arms.

“Jazzy, you weren’t here. You don’t know-”

“And you weren’tthere. Nothing you did, even letting Hudson live, caused what happened to me. If it hadn’t been him, it would have been someone else. Every man that I saw in there had the face of someone who no doubt thrived off causing pain. I was always going to end up there; my mother would have made sure of it.” I reach up and cup his face, and I look deeper into his eyes, which look like they are filling with tears. “It was not your fault, Daddy. I need you to realise that and stop beating yourself up. I hate watching you blaming yourself. It needs to stop;youneed to stop.”

For a moment, Jason looks like he’s struggling. But slowly, he nods and closes his eyes while leaning into my hand.

“I will never understand what I did to deserve your love,” he whispers before opening his eyes. “You are far too pure for our world, and I hate that we are dragging you into it.”

“You aren’t dragging me into anything; I’m choosing to be part of it. I’m choosing you four, and I always will, no matter what.” Lifting up, I kiss his lips before smiling.

“I’m going to check on the pup before going back to bed.” Stepping back, putting some distance between us, I smile, hoping to slightly lift his mood. “Go to bed and rest. I will see you in the morning.”

Jason wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me to him, pressing his lips hard to mine.

“Good night, Angel. I love you.”

I can’t help but feel lighter after seeing a genuine smile on his face.

“I love you, too,” I whisper before kissing him again and leaving the room.

Standing on the large landing, I feel a little better knowing that he at least knows that I don’t blame him for what happened. Looking towards Christian's room, I realise I’m not ready to see him yet. I’m scared of what will happen if I go in there now and he's awake. Am I afraid of him? No. Even after he grabbed and shouted at me like that, I know he would have never done anything worse than that. He would never, ever hit me. Sure, he spanks me and disciplines me, but that is different, one word, and he would stop. Tonight was different, but I’m still not scared of him. I’m scared of what I will do. Being handled like that brought back some memories I have been trying my hardest to forget. The last thing we all need is me having another breakdown, adding more fuel to the fire. Knowing I’m doing the right thing by leaving him to it, I rush down the stairs and head to check on the pup.

Approaching the conservatory, I feel a slight draft coming from under the door and quickly start to panic. Throwing it open, my worst fear is confirmed. The back door leading into the garden is open, and the pup is nowhere to be seen.

“No. No. No.” I rush out of the door, not stopping to put anything on my feet. Desperate to check where my puppy is.

“Embry, where are you, baby?” I whisper, not wanting to scare him away. I walk a little away from the conservatory and listen out for the sound of my pup. I listen for a moment while taking a few more steps, my heart dropping when I hear the tiniest bark. I rush around to part of the garden, where I thought I had heard him. I move around a large bush and whisper yell his name when I see him playing around someone's feet. Not just anyone, Christian.

I watch silently as he picks up a ball by his feet and throws it for Embry before taking a sip out of a large bottle. Even in the dark, I can see he’s struggling as his head and shoulders are sagging. He rubs at his face, and I hear him letting out a deep sigh as he watches Embry running back with his ball. But on his way back to Christian, he spots me and lets out a yelp before running over. Christian spins around and sees me for the first time.

For a moment, we stare at each other. For the first time ever, I don’t want to rush to him. I don’t feel that excitement I get from the mere sight of him, and that hurts.

I’m thankful when Embry jumps at my legs, begging for my attention. Squatting down, I pick him up and make a fuss of him. As I pay attention to my pup, I notice Christian taking a deep drink from his bottle.

“Where are your shoes?”

My head snaps up to stare at him.

That’s how he's going to start this conversation. By going into Daddy mode? No. The fact he tries to chastise me after everything that happened upstairs seems to flick the switch in my brain from sad and hurt to damn angry.

“Inside, as I had no idea where my baby was! I thought he had gotten out by himself!” I snap, shocking myself at the level of anger in my voice. I stand with the puppy in my arms, staring at the man I am marrying in a couple of weeks.

“Watch your tone-”

“No!”

Christian stares at me for a moment, but I’m not done. “I will not watch my fucking tone!”

Christian opens his mouth to say something but seems to think better of it as I storm forward, closing the distance between us until I’m directly in front of him.

“You and I are going to have a conversation. For the duration of it, you are not Daddy, you are Christian, and I am Jasmine, your fiancée, do you understand? You will not discipline me or tell me to watch my language; you will listen to what I have to fucking say for once. Is that understood?”

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