“Sounds like it. I mean, it’s not something I’d probably try normally, but if you’re giving it a glowing review…” He smiled.
“I am. I definitely am. Oh, and I don’t really like tea, but Moroccan mint tea?” I touched my chest. “Holy crap, that shit’s good.”
We went on like that for a while, me regaling him with everything I could remember from my trips to Morocco. He even wrote a few things down, and I sent him the tour guide’s info so I wouldn’t forget. I showed him some pictures from my trips, too. Some people’s eyes glazed over when others whipped out photo albums, but he was enthralled with everything, from my selfie with a camel to the guy I’d snapped in Chefchaouen delivering cases of soda via donkey.
As we were winding down our dinner with dessert and some more wine, I glanced around, and I was almost startled to realize where we were. I recognized this little street in Córdoba. I’d been here before—the restaurant, the street, the neighborhood, the city. But I’d forgotten we were here because I’d been so lost in conversation with Connor.
Just like I was every time we talked, whether it was over amazing Turkish food in Córdoba, leaning against the side of his pool in Sanlúcar, or curled up together between the sheets.
In bed, I’d realized that no man had ever made me feel like my pleasure was the center of his universe.
Here at this table, it occurred to me that that didn’t stop when we put our clothes on. No, he wasn’t turning me on or getting me off right now, but the way he looked at me… The way he was completely focused on me and I was completely focused on him…
We were surrounded by stunning scenery in a city that was completely new to him, but we could’ve been sitting in his own kitchen for all he was engaged with anything around us. It was like nothing and nobody existed for him except for me. Just like nothing and nobody existed for me except for him.
I’d heard of people experiencing that, but it had never happened to me before, and after Tobias, I’d sworn off letting another man get past my emotional defenses.
Until tonight.
I was stupid if I thought this was—or could be—more than sex and friendship. I knew that.
But what could I say?
I couldn’t resist enjoying it while it lasted.
CHAPTER29
CONNOR
Inever knew how cold a desert could get. All those stories about trying to stay cool in the sweltering triple-digit heat hadn’t prepared me for this. For the kind of cold that makes my jaw ache with fatigue from my teeth chattering for so long.
Everything tastes like sand and copper. My hands shake as I try to keep the Marine on the broken concrete in front of me from bleeding out, but I don’t have enough hands for all his wounds. The tourniquet on his thigh is helping the worst of it, but there’s still more. Too much blood coming too fast from too many places. The blood soaking through my clothes turns cold against my skin. My teeth want to chatter harder, but I clench them to keep them still.
I want to call out for a bag of blood, but I can’t. I can’t speak. Can’t find the words.
Can’t stop the bleeding.
Then the whole world shifts. I can’t see. Can’t hear. I know someone’s screaming but I can’t hear them.
It’s me.
I’m the one.
There’s more blood now, and it’s mine. And it’s still cold. And it’s everywhere. And I can’t call out for help. For blood. For?—
* * *
“Connor.” Alex’s voice broke through the noise. “You’re safe. In Spain. You’re safe in bed.”
Spain? Bed?
But I was just in…
Everything around me started to disintegrate, fading from a vivid image to near darkness.
“Connor. You’re safe.” He was stroking my hair. That tightness around me—that was his other arm. “Wherever you were—you’re not there anymore. We’re in a hotel in Spain.”
The darkness…