He released a breath and seemed to relax even more. I wondered if, on some level, he’d been afraid to admit that out loud, and now he was relieved that I’d said the same thing. Or maybe I was projecting.
Either way, I was glad he was starting to calm down now, and that he was going to get help after the military.
I was glad he was feeling better than he’d been when the nightmare had shaken him awake.
And, holding him close and remembering all the nights I’d been in his boots …
I was glad he wasn’t alone tonight.
CHAPTER24
ALEX
Ifelt better today. Though last night had sucked, and I was definitely still in dire need of a solid night’s sleep, the worst was over. I felt closer to myself. Relieved, too, that Connor hadn’t seemed put off by seeing me like that—both after my encounter with Tobias and after that stupid nightmare. He’d reassured me yesterday and comforted me during the night, and this morning, he’d made a few comments about how tonight wasdefinitelygoing to be better.
Just thinking about that made me grin. I couldn’t wait to spend some time in bed with him doing something other than shaking and trying to calm myself down. That he was still onboard—talk about a relief.
First, though, I had to get through my day, and while I wasn’t sure there was enough coffee to pull that off, I kept pouring it down my throat. Hope sprang eternal, and so did coffeepots in military facilities.
I’d just finished doing some X-rays on a dependent who’d broken her wrist a few months ago. She was in for some good news from her doctor; though I couldn’t relay the results to her myself, it was plain as day on the images that the bones had fully healed without issue. I’d been there done that, and there was nothing better than putting all that bullshit in the rearview where it belonged. Broken bones sucked.
After sending her on her way, I went into the office to see if anyone else was coming up. No one was, and I didn’t have any pressing paperwork or other tasks, so I passed the time as I often did—texting with Connor.
He wasn’t the only one who’d texted me, though. I also had a message from Isidoro, asking if I wanted to hook up this evening or this weekend. That, fortunately, didn’t cause nearly the same stir of emotions as Tobias trying to hit me up for sex. When I begged off, Isidoro understood. He also added,¿Tienes novio?, accompanying that with a winking emoji.
My face heated as I read the message. No, I didn’t have a boyfriend. But I also didn’t have the Spanish vocabulary—or the trust in the translator app—to explain my situation. So, I just wrote back that I was seeing someone, and hoped the app conveyed that clearly enough.
It must have, because he responded that he was happy for me.
I felt a little guilty about that. I didn’t have a boyfriend, per se. That wasn’t what Connor and I were doing. I just wasn’t sure how to explain that I had a fuck buddy who blew my mind so fully that I didn’t have the time or energy for anyone else.
Though I didn’t imagine Isidoro’s feelings were hurt. He’d had a relationship recently too, and he was still active on the app last time I looked. And anyway, nine times out of ten, I was the one to reach out to him for a hookup. I doubted he was losing any sleep over when or if he might see me naked again. I doubted any man did. Compared to Tobias’s obnoxious persistence, I was more than happy that Isidoro was unbothered that I was unavailable.
The confrontation with Tobias seemed farther and farther away as my day went on, and my mood got better and better. Isidoro’s graceful acceptance of my rejection—and his playful teasing—soothed the part of me that had still been on edge after Tobias, and the flirty texts with Connor definitely helped.
And a few hours later, chilling in Connor’s pool with a can of beer in my hand after we’d had a quickie, I felt better about… well, everything.
Fuck you, Tobias. My life is so much better than it seems when you’re around.
The kitchen door opened, and I looked up to see Connor coming down the steps, barefoot in a pair of swim trunks. He padded across the lawn, sat on the edge of the pool beside me, put his phone down beside my beer, and then slipped into the water. “Okay. Steaks just need to sit at room temperature until my phone goes off, and then I’ll put them on the grill.”
“Perfect.” I put my phone next to his. “Do you need help with anything?”
“I’ve got all the cooking under control.” He grinned. “But I’m pretty sure I can find something for you to do.”
“Oh, yeah?” Licking my lips, I took off my sunglasses and added them to the poolside pile. “What do you have in mind?”
He didn’t say a word. He just moved around in front of me, curved his hands behind my back, and gently tugged me away from the edge. I let myself be reeled in, and when our lips met, I couldn’t help sighing happily. I doubted either of us had another round in us right now, but this? Oh, I could enjoy the hell out of this. Just holding him and kissing lazily while the cool water sloshed gently around us and the Andalusian sun warmed my shoulders.
I loved that Connor enjoyed making out without trying to get anything else started. Most men I’d been with just wanted to get us both turned on so they could get off. Connor—God, he loved kissing, and he always seemed more than happy to do this even when it wasn’t likely to end in sex.
In the pool. In the shower. On his couch while we ignored a movie. Lying in bed when we were both too tired for anything more. There were so many times when I found myself just like this, wrapped up in Connor and enjoying his touch and his kiss with no pressure. No expectation to perform.
It was like holding me and kissing me was enough for him.
Isidoro’s playful question bounced around in my head.¿Tienes novio?
I didn’t have a boyfriend.