“It does.” I pressed a kiss to his temple. “The rest—it’ll keep.” I paused. “And you’re still welcome to stay here tonight even if we’re not fooling around.”
He drew back and met my gaze. “Yeah?”
“Well, yeah.” I smiled. “I like having you here. I’m going to have nights where I don’t want to have sex either, but I still want you here.”
He studied me for a moment, and little by little, he relaxed even more. Swallowing hard, he nodded. “Okay.” He rolled his shoulders. “Okay, yeah, that sounds good.” He paused, and when he spoke, he cautiously lifted his eyebrows. “Though, we’ve been meaning to try that kebab place.”
“Ooh, you’re right, we have. And I’m pretty sure I can order online.”
The smile that broke out was tired but genuine. “Perfect. Let’s go have a look at their menu.”
I was still angry with Tobias, and I was a little disappointed that Alex and I wouldn’t be fooling around tonight. But he was here. As we perused the kebab restaurant’s menu, placed our order, waited for our food, and then started eating outside in the evening sun, he relaxed more and more. He came back to life. He smiled and laughed more easily. By the time we’d settled in to watch a movie, he was back to himself enough that I almost wondered if sex might still be on the table after all.
Almost. We’d both eaten enough that we could barely move—holy crap, that kebab place was incredible. But seeing the flirty sparkle return to his eye… feeling him curled against me while we watched the movie… letting those kisses linger as we got ready for bed…
Yeah, he’d be okay.
That, more than anything else, was what mattered.
Nice try, Tobias.
You’re not getting that far under his skin again.
* * *
The thump against my back startled me out of a sound sleep. For a split second, I thought it was something from the bloody, smoke-scented dream I’d been having, but the movement and the muffled whimper beside me brought me fully back to reality.
I rolled over and caught Alex’s flailing arm just before he’d have bumped me again, and I slid up next to him. “Hey. Hey. Alex. Wake up, baby.”
His whole body jerked, his heel catching me in the shin, and I gave him a subtle shake as I said his name again.
Then he stilled.
After a second, he released a ragged breath.
“You with me?” I whispered.
“Y-yeah.” He relaxed back against me. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I smoothed his hair, which was damp with sweat. “It happens to me too. Just breathe.”
He breathed. “Fucking sucks.”
“I know it does.” I wrapped my arm around him and kissed the back of his shoulder. “But I’m not upset about it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
From the way he relaxed minutely—yeah, he’d been worried about it.
“I mean it,” I whispered. “It’s PTSD. I get it.”
He pushed out a ragged breath. “Still. I’m sorry.”
I just held him closer and kissed his shoulder again. This didn’t surprise me, given how brittle he’d been yesterday. I’d had days like that, too, and the worst nightmares were almost inevitable afterward.
“You okay?” I stroked his hair.
He pushed out a long breath as he relaxed in my arms. “Yeah. I still don’t even know what the fuck triggered it, but…” He trailed off into a sigh.
I still wondered if it was the confrontation with his ex yesterday, but I didn’t mention that. No point in drawing his attention back to that shitshow when he was already rattled. “It doesn’t alwaysneeda trigger, does it?”