And why did it hurt so much to imagine Connor getting bored with me?

I’ve never cared this much before.

What happens when that blows up in my face?

CHAPTER23

CONNOR

Today was yet another one of those days when I envied the people I worked with who still blissfully inhaled energy drinks like they were going out of style. After fooling around with Alex, and then FaceTiming him afterward untilwaytoo late, I desperately needed the caffeine, and coffee wasn’t delivering.

No matter how tired I was, though, I wasn’t going to tempt fate. The coffee would just have to do.

And it can kick in any goddamned time now.

In my office, I downed more than I probably should have in one go. Then I headed out to see my first patients of the day.

From 0700 to 1200 was sick call, so I mostly saw service members who needed light duty chits or SIQ, which meant they were sick-in-quarters. I kind of hated that the military required them to show up to sick call in order to get out of work. If they were in bad enough shape that they couldn’t go to work, then maybe asking them to drag themselves to medical to prove it was counterproductive?

Buuut I was just a lowly lieutenant commander who didn’t make the rules.

This morning, I signed off a light duty chit for a Seabee who’d hurt his back “working on a buddy’s car” on his off day. Sure, my dude. That explained the bloodshot eyes and the obvious headache, too. Knowing the Seabees, they’d partied hard the past couple of days, and he’d probably done something stupid while drunk. His back was definitely hurting like crazy, though, and as far as I was concerned, my job was to help him heal, not judge him for how he did it. So I gave him some high-octane Motrin, put him on light duty for the next five days, and told him to come back and see me next week.

After him was a Master at Arms who’d felt like crap for a few days, had been sick all morning, and said her lower back hurt so bad she couldn’t even put on her gun belt.

“My section leader kept telling me to just suck it up,” she said miserably. “But when I threw up this morning, he got scared because now he thinks I’m pregnant.” With a wince, she added, “I’m worried he might be right.”

They were both wrong—the UTI she’d been steadfastly ignoring (and he’d been telling her to knuckle through) had spread to her kidneys, which was why her back hurt so bad. I had a corpsman escort her to the emergency room for some IV antibiotics, and I called ahead to make sure they got her in immediately. Then, with the MA’s permission, I personally called the security officer to strongly advise him to brief his department about being this reckless with a Sailor’s health.

“I just sent one of your MAs to the emergency room, Lieutenant,” I snarled at the SECO. “Another day, and she’d have been coming in by ambulance. There isno excusefor forcing a Sailor to keep showing up for duty until she’s as sick as she is, and this not the first time it’s been someone from your department. I seeone moreMaster at Arms at sick call with a story like hers, and so help me, I will get my CO, your CO, and the base CO involved. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir” came the satisfyingly meek response. “I’ll talk to my people.”

He’d better hope he did, because I wasn’t joking.

I was still fuming over that when I headed into the room for my next patient, but I paused outside the door to collect myself. Deep breath. Mental refresh. Whoever was in the room had nothing to do with my lack of sleep, the ineffectiveness of my coffee, or the utter incompetence of the base security department.

I pulled it together and got through that appointment. Then the next. Then the one after that. Little by little, my fury over the MA’s treatment died down, but it still set the stage for rest of the day.

God, I can’t wait to see Alex tonight.

Every time that thought crossed my mind, my mood brightened a bit and my energy kicked up a notch. The day could be the biggest shitshow in the world, but at the end of it, I’d see Alex. I’d do more than see him, and I couldn’t wait.

Not a moment too soon, I was walking out to my car and texting Alex that I was on my way home. All the way from Rota to Sanlúcar, I drummed my fingers on the wheel and fidgeted in the driver seat. I was exhausted from a long day, but just thinking about tumbling into bed with him was like shotgunning a couple of those forbidden energy drinks.

Couldn’t. Fucking.Wait.

At home, I quickly showered and put on shorts and a T-shirt, mostly so I didn’t scandalize my neighbors when I opened the door for Alex. I didn’t imagine I’d be wearing any of this for long.

And finally, he was here. My whole body was practically vibrating with excitement as I headed for the door. I always wanted him, but after the long and frustrating day, Ineededhis touch and his warmth.

I opened the door to let him in. Our eyes met, but only for a second before he shifted his gaze away from mine. My good mood and the day’s anticipation fled in an instant. As Alex came inside, alarm twisted beneath my ribs.

“Hey.” I nudged the door shut. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He laughed halfheartedly as he rolled his shoulders. “I’m, uh… I’m good.” He stepped closer, his eyes begging me not to notice how weak his smile was.

Something wasn’t right.