I was halfway through my third glass of wine when my phone pinged. For a second, I let myself fantasize that Connor was hitting me up to screw around. Or that Isidoro wanted a booty call. Hell, I knew my mood was in the toilet when the thought of getting a message from Tobias didn’t sound half bad.
But I knew it wasn’t any of those men.
Oh, honey! I’m so sorry! We planned a day at the zoo with the grandbabies and won’t be home for a few hours.
Yeah. That tracked.
I sent back a bland message about how it was fine, we’d reschedule, and I hoped everyone had fun at the zoo. Two of those were true. We would reschedule, and I did hope everyone enjoyed the day. It was fine? I didn’t know about that. Being this far away from my family was hard enough without always being the last priority.
But was I really surprised? No. No, I was not. Because this wasn’t the first time, and it sure as shit wouldn’t be the last time.
I went into the kitchen for more wine. This time, I brought the bottle out with me, and I had every intention of finishing it before the sun sank into the Atlantic.
I wasn’t worried about being too drunk for a hookup. I felt too much like shit to even think about being with someone tonight.
My thoughts drifted to Connor again, because of course they did. Probably because he was the last man I’d touched. The last person to make me feel like I was worth any kind of effort.
Of course I couldn’t have him. Of course he was off-limits. On the other hand, maybe that saved us both the awkwardness of him explaining that he wasn’t interested in me now that the novelty had worn off screwing dudes. God, I should’ve just left instead of going into his house. I never should’ve gone to Sevilla. I never should’ve…
Well. Whatever. Every choice I’d made to spend time with him, I shouldn’t have, and I shouldn’t again. In the military, there were certain non-negotiable truths: bored Sailors shouldn’t run with the bulls, and lonely ones definitely shouldn’t hook up with officers.
Sitting here on this beautiful balcony overlooking that gorgeous beach, with a bottle of good Spanish wine, my silent phone, and a conspicuously empty chair beside me, I swore into the breeze before taking a deep gulp from my glass.
And all the way to the bottom of that bottle, I wondered if the kid with the punctured butt cheek was regretting his life choices tonight as much as I was regretting mine.
CHAPTER15
CONNOR
After a swim in my pool, I lounged in one of the cabana’s sun-warmed wooden chairs. My phone was beside my beer bottle on the table, and I just chilled while I waited for the FaceTime request. The sun was still high but getting lower, dimming the blinding brightness of the day by a degree or two, though dusk was still another two hours away. The air was thick with heat and humidity, which felt good on my wet skin.
I took a pull from my beer and gazed out at the pool. I’d made it through the work day. It hadn’t been easy, and I’d been a distracted mess, but I’d made it. Nothing left to do with the day except chat with one of my sons.
And speak of the devil, the familiar FaceTime ping came through. I smiled as I grabbed the phone off the table.
My younger son, Landon, appeared on the screen. “Hey, Dad!”
“Hey. How are things?”
“Eh.” He shrugged, then brushed a couple of curls out of his eyes. “Things are fine. I’ve mostly been working lately. It’s nice to have a break from classes, but that just means working more.”
I laughed. “Welcome to adulthood.”
He made a face, which made me chuckle. I missed my kids like crazy, and seeing Landon on the phone just made that hit even harder. As we caught up and I told him about Spain, my chest ached. I wanted him and his brother to come visit sooner than later, but I also kind of wanted to push the trip back; it was easier to deal with missing them when I knew they’d be coming to see me soon. Once they’d left…
Well. That wasn’t something I wanted to dwell on tonight.
We did land on the subject of their visit, though. He and Quinn figured they had about a ten-day window, plus a day or two on either end for travel. They were just waiting on Quinn’s girlfriend to confirm their chosen dates would work, and then they’d book their flights while I put in my leave request.
“Just let me know as soon as you can,” I said. “And you have your passport and everything?”
“Yes, Dad,” he said, rolling his eyes. “It doesn’t expire for like seven years.”
“Okay, okay. Do you guys want to fly commercial, or chance it with Space A?”
Landon quirked his lips. “I think commercial? We’ve only got so much time, and we’ll all be cutting it close to get back before classes start.”
I nodded. “Yeah, good call.” The space-available military flights were a great perk for service members and dependents, but they were risky. There was no guarantee there’d be space available on a given flight, or that the flight would happen at all, and those decisions were often made at the very last second. It was entirely possible that my boys could be waiting a solid week or more before they were finally able to board a plane, and with college starting up soon, I didn’t blame them for not taking the chance.