The candor seemed like it should make me nervous, but it actually settled something in me. Yeah, I was still intimidated as all hell by this whole idea, but knowing Alex understood—that being uneasy about stepping into that scene was a normal, natural response—made me feel less like I was doing this wrong. Whatever this was. Because Jesus fuck, it was all so alien to me.
“It might’ve helped if I’d done much clubbing in my twenties,” I said. “Not gay bars, but clubs in general.”
Alex’s eyebrows flew up. “You didn’t?”
“I mean, I did a little? But I was married with a kid before I even went to basic training.”
His lips parted. “Really?”
I nodded. “I did some partying during A-school and in between deployments, but I was never, you know, looking for anything. Just drinking and being stupid.”
“Well. Shit. So this is allreallynew territory for you.”
“You could say that, yeah.” I rolled my shoulders, wondering when they’d started getting so damn tense. “So, I don’t know if I want to be a wallflower or not. I kind of want to dive right in, but I also kind of hope no one sees me.” I sighed. “I don’t know. Am I overthinking it?”
He shook his head. “No. You’re not.” He looked at my wardrobe again. “Maybe something simple. Not necessarily enough to stand out, but you won’t blend into the woodwork either.” He started to reach for a shirt, but hesitated. “May I?”
“Yeah, of course. Please do.”
He gave a sharp nod, then started thumbing through the various clothes I’d hung up. “All right. Let’s see what we can put together…”
CHAPTER8
ALEX
In the days leading up to our jaunt to Sevilla, I wondered more than once if I was making a mistake. Just standing in Connor’s bedroom and talking about clubs and all that shit had scrambled my damn brain. Knowing I was going to be in a club with him, watching him dip his toes into the scene, had overheated more than a few synapses this week.
And now here I was, standing in front of the hotel across the street from mine—we didn’t dare stay in the same place—realizing I had severely miscalculated.
The glass doors had opened, and Connor had stepped out, and… oh God. My dumb ass had put together something for him to wear that wouldn’t make him stand out too much and wouldn’t make him blend into the woodwork… not once considering that I was making him look likeexactlythe kind of man who’d yank my attention away fromanything.
Okay, that already described him, but I’d gone and made it worse.
The black button-up shirt was open and loose over that skintight pale gray T-shirt. The jeans weren’t tight enough to reveal if he dressed to the right or left, but they weren’t baggy either. They sat perfectly on his hips, and maybe the untucked shirt was a good thing; I didn’t need an unobstructed view of how his jeans clung to his ass.
It was a simple outfit. There was nothing flashy about it. Nothing that should’ve made me forget how to breathe.
Except it also happened to be a look that I’d always loved. There was a reason I’d gone with a similar ensemble myself—the only difference was the button-up was bright red and the tee was white.
Good one, Alex. Take the hottest man you’ve ever seen and dress him in a way that would turnyourhead.
The streetlights above us picked out some highlights in his hair as he came down the steps. Like a lot of officers, he didn’t have the severe high-and-tight like I did, so his dark hair was long enough to style. Instead of being neatly arranged the way it always was at work, it was closer to how he’d had it when I’d come to his house—finger-combed and artfully mussed. Not what I’d call messy, not deliberate bedhead—I suspected he was too used to keeping it neat in uniform to go too wild with it in civvies—but definitely a more relaxed style than usual.
Somehow, I managed to keep my expression neutral and friendly as he approached.
Connor stopped in front of me and gestured at himself as he gave me an uncertain look. “Are you sure about this?”
“You don’t like it?”
“No, no, I do. But it’s—” He looked around us. “Well, I guess it’s cooled off, hasn’t it? I was sweltering in shorts earlier.”
“Funny how that happens when the sun goes down.”
He rolled his eyes and flipped me off.
I laughed. “Nah, you’ll be fine. Especially since Castillo de Danza actually has A/C, and theyuseit.” In fact, I hoped they had it cranked to max tonight, because I was already getting a little warm just standing out here with Connor. God help me if it turned out he knew how to dance.
I suppressed a shiver and motioned for him to come with me. As we started down the sidewalk, I said, “So when did you get into town?”