Captain Tucker shifted a little in her chair and studied us, the scrutiny making me twitchy. After a while, her posture relaxed a bit more. “Well, I suppose that’s not something I can understand from personal experience, though I do certainly understand the isolation that comes with overseas assignments.” She folded her hands on the desk and looked at each of us in turn. “I know for a fact you’re not the only LGBT people on this base, though, so I would strongly recommend finding that community within your own ranks. But given the circumstances—given what happened to you today, HM1—I can’t begrudge you for finding appropriate support where it’s available.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” I murmured.
She nodded sharply. “But as much as possible going forward, let’s keep our extracurricular interactions within the UCMJ’s requirements, shall we?”
“Yes, ma’am,” we both said.
After that, she dismissed us. The relief had my knees shaking; shecould’vehemmed us up, and I’d worked for homophobic COs who absolutelywouldhave. We were lucky to work for a commanding officer who understood we had limited pools for socializingandsupport, even if she did still warn us to find that support among our own.
Given the things she could’ve done, I’d take it.
Connor and I didn’t say a word or even look at each other in the hall. We walked to the elevator in silence, waited for the doors to open, and stepped inside.
Side by side, we both stared up at the numbers as the elevator took us back down to the hospital’s ground floor.
The part of me that Tobias had conditioned to believe I was unworthy of the hassle fully expected Connor to announce that this was it. We were done.
The part of me that had seen, time and again, how much Connor genuinely loved me, was wholly unsurprised when he said, “Meet me at my place?”
Heart thumping, gaze still fixed on the numbers, I smiled.
“See you there.”
CHAPTER45
CONNOR
Though it was risky to so brazenly go back to my house with Alex after a second discussion with Captain Tucker, I couldn’t talk myself out of it. We took necessary precautions—he came to Sanlúcar in an Uber, and I left the gate unlocked so he could let himself in. No one in my neighborhood knew or cared why he shouldn’t be there, and the only person who’d had any interest in spying on us was still in custody in Rota.
It was worth the risk anyway because Alex was still shaken up, and quite frankly, so was I.
As we settled on my couch with a couple of beers, he said, “I can’t promise I’m up for much tonight.” He gingerly touched the side of his face and winced.
I took his hand and gently pulled it away. “Don’t keep poking it. And I don’t care if you’re not up for anything. I’m just glad you’re okay, and you’re here.”
He searched my eyes, all those insecurities and uncertainties plain to see in his expression. I fucking hated Tobias for that even more than I did for the mark on Alex’s face. It had darkened into an impressive bruise, especially over his cheekbone, but it didn’t go nearly as deep as all the psychological damage that asshole had done.
I wrapped my arms around him and let him lean the uninjured side of his face against my chest. Stroking his hair, I kissed his forehead. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“He didn’t hit methathard.”
“He still put his hands on you. Enough that he gave you a concussion.”
“Eh. It’s a mild one.” But Alex still curled closer to me and sighed. “Thank you. For having my back.”
“Of course.” I kissed his temple. “There’s nothing in the UCMJ about advocating for my patient when someone assaults him.”
“No, but Captain Tucker was already suspicious of us.” He found my hand and laced our fingers together on my chest. “It was a risk. I… wasn’t even sure I should come to you because I didn’t want to put you in that position.” Alex swallowed hard. “I just didn’t know what else to do.”
I stroked my other hand up and down his back. “You canalwayscome to me.”
“Thanks,” he whispered. We were quiet for a little while, and then he said, “The next year or so is going to be long as hell. I can’t wait until we don’t have to hide anymore.”
“Neither can I. And we’ll make it. It’s kind of like a deployment—it sounds like a long time, and it’ll feel like a long time in the moment, but after it’s over, it’ll seem like it went by in a blink.”
Alex sighed again, relaxing against me. “I sure hope so.”
“It will. I promise,” I said. “Even if it doesn’t go by fast, it’ll be worth it.”