Page 121 of Better Late Than Never

“Well, yeah.” He chuckled. “Do brothers ever grow out of that?”

“Absolutely not.”

We both laughed, and then we fell quiet for a little while. I was relieved we’d left the topic of my parents behind. No matter how much I tried to tell myself it didn’t bother me, the nerve was raw.

Connor watched his thumb trace along mine. “You, um… You said something else the other night. That I’ve been thinking about a lot.”

My stomach tightened. “Yeah?” I knew what he meant this time. Felt it all the way to my core, especially when he met my gaze with those sweet, intense eyes.

“This really isn’t just casual anymore, is it?” he whispered.

I gulped. “Is that… Is that okay?” He’d indicated it was the other night, but what if he’d had time to think it through? What if he’d had time to come to his senses?

He let go of my hand and touched my face. “It scared me a little at first, but the more I think about it…” Oh, man, that smile never failed to make my spine tingle. “I like the idea.”

“You… You do?”

“Yeah. I mean, we spend all this time together. We talk about everything.” He grinned wickedly. “And that’s to say nothing about the sex.”

I laughed, but quickly sobered. “But keeping it on the DL…”

“It’s not forever,” he whispered. “We just keep doing what we’re doing for now. See what happens between us.” The grin broadened. “And then maybe after you retire, we can think about coming out.”

My heart was absolutely racing now. “But that’s still more than a year away.”

“I know.” He trailed his fingers along the shaved side of my head. “I can wait.”

The hope swelling in my chest was almost painful. “We’d have to do the long-distance thing then. After I get sent back to CONUS.”

He nodded and drew me in. “Pretty sure it’ll all be worth it in the end.”

Then his mouth claimed mine, and I absolutely melted against him.

Was this real? Did he really think we had a future?

And did he reallywantthat future?

Or was it just the right thing to say in the moment?

God, please, let him be serious about this…

* * *

A few days after Connor’s kids left, we were back to our usual routine. He was still bummed out that they were gone, and I didn’t blame him, but he seemed to enjoy the time we spent together. If nothing else, it distracted him from their absence.

I could live with that. I just had to remember that was what was happening here. He insisted we could do the post-retirement long-distance thing until logistics allowed us to be in the same place, but that was easy to say. It was easy to imagine it being worthwhile, and it was probably a lot easier to fantasize about that than it was to think about his kids being a few thousand miles away.

I believed Connor liked me. I believed he enjoyed my company. It wasn’t that I thought he was lying or being disingenuous; I just couldn’t convince myself that when the rubber met the road, he’d still be onboard. When the same ocean between him and his boys was between him and me, we’d see how willing he was to hang on.

In the meantime, I’d enjoy everything we did, and when it was over… well, it would be over.

And it’s going to hurt, because I’m getting way too fucking invested in this.

Yeah, probably. But that was a problem for future Alex.

Present Alex, on the other hand, was grinning like an idiot, trying to get comfortable in my office chair with all those telltale aches and twinges bringing back memories of last night. I leaned back in my desk chair and sipped my coffee as every muscle reminded me of last night. Connor and I were both as vers as they came, but lately he’d been topping more often than not. No real reason beyond him wanting to fuck me and me wanting to get dicked down, and good God, did he leave me smiling every time.

I shivered, intensifying all those aches and twinges. We might have to take it easy tonight, if only to give our bodies—or at leastmybody—a break.

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