Page 115 of Better Late Than Never

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All too soon, the sun was going down, which meant I needed to get my ass home and into bed. I said goodbye to the boys and Savannah, and while they hung out by the pool, Connor and I retreated inside. At the door, I turned to him.

“Thanks for having me over.” I put my hands on his waist. “It was nice to see you. And meet your kids.”

“I’m glad I got to see you.” He drew me in close. “Ten days is a long time.”

I wanted to mention that we were active duty, so we knew more than most that ten days was most certainlynota long time for much of anything. But then his lips were on mine, and…

And ten days was a fucking eternity.

Not just because I hadn’t been laid, either; just being in the same space as him for a while had satisfied the hunger that had been growing since Córdoba. As much as I couldn’t wait to tear off our clothes and make up for lost time in bed, I was perfectly satisfied after just seeing him. Just being here with him.

He broke the kiss. “You know, I realized when the kids asked about you—I don’t have any pictures of you on my phone. Or pictures of us.”

I tensed. “Do you… I mean, we’re trying to be discreet, and…”

Connor shrugged. “No one sees my phone but me.” His cheeks colored a little as he softly added, “I’d like one, if you’re game.”

My heart beat faster, and I tried not to think about why. Or why I was suddenly excited and maybe even a touch emotional that he wanted a photo of me—of us—on his phone. “Okay. Okay, yeah, we can…” I took out my cell. “Selfie, and I’ll send it to you?”

His smile made my knees weak, and it was weird to realize how familiar that feeling was becoming.

I clumsily turned on the camera in selfie mode, and Connor put his arm around me as I held up the phone.

Click.

I took a second, just in case, and then sent it to him. When his phone pinged, his eyes lit up.

“Great,” he said with a smile. “Now I have something to drool over at work.”

I laughed. “Yeah. Me too.”

Then he pulled me back in, and… God, I was never going to get tired of his kiss. And I still had to gohowmany days without it? Fuck me.

As the kiss lingered, the desire to stay here tonight and sleep beside Connor was so strong, it was almost a physical ache. I didn’t care if we fooled around. I just… wanted him. I wanted to be close to him.

But I had to work tomorrow, and he needed to get back to his family. Reluctantly, I broke the kiss, and we locked eyes for a moment.

I am so stupid for you, Connor, and you don’t even know.

Though from the way he was looking at me—assuming I wasn’t imagining my own intense longing mirrored in his eyes—maybe he did know.

Before I could stop myself, I asked, “Is it just me, or does this feel… different?”

He held my gaze, tilting his head. “What do you mean?”

My heart pounded, but to my surprise, the early jitters of a panic attack were nowhere in sight. I was nervous about this—nervous in ways I wasn’t used to—but it wasn’t hitting those landmines that could send me into a downward spiral.

I cleared my throat. “I mean, we’re supposed to be screwing around on the sly. Traveling around, fucking each other senseless in hotel rooms.” God, my heart was pounding so hard. “But now I’m meeting your kids. And…”

And missing you so much this week that I can’t even put it into words.

Connor dropped his gaze and chewed his lip. For a long moment, he was unnervingly silent. Then, slowly, he nodded, looking at me through his lashes. “I don’t think what we’re doing is what we set out to do in the beginning.”

An impossible mix of relief and apprehension swelled in my chest. We were on the same page, but… now what? Pull back because it was a mistake? Say “fuck it” and keep doing it?

I swallowed hard, my heart thumping even harder than it had when I’d arrived a few hours ago. “Is that… a good thing?”

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