Page 250 of On a Fault Line

“You aren’t crazy, Penny. You are heartbroken.”

She rotates her body to look at me. “That’s presumptuous.”

“It’s accurate. Well, guess what? I am heartbroken too. And I am sorry.”

“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough.”

“You are the chaos my orderly life needs, Penny. You’ve wrecked me, but in the best ways possible.” My eyes hold her gaze. “You are the air I breathe. Without you, I’ll suffocate in my own rigidness. Come back.”

“When you left, it was like you didn’t even see me. I wasn’t even a blip on your radar. Then you just went silent. And that silence was deafening. You made yourself loud and clear. You don’t want me. And you never will long-term. So whatever you’re doing now is just fucking with my head. I just wish you’d give me the clean break that I obviously want.”

“I see you, Penny. I see everything about you. I see the way your eyes soften when you think about those you love. I see the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. It is cute as hell. I see how you smile when something really makes you happy or how you wiggle your fingers when you are stressed. I see you—every part of you. And the only thing my life is missing is your acknowledgement that you are mine.”

“I don’t know if I can get back to what we once had…”

“Then start focusing on progress and not perfection,” I challenge.

She shakes her head. “I can’t make big life decisions right now.”

I nod and take a step closer. “Then let me take the choice away.”

“Collins…”

“In about ten seconds, I’m going to place my hands on your ass and lift you so your legs can wrap around me. Then I’m going to grind you until you get so needy that your only choice is to beg me. If that isn’t something you want, then here is your one chance to walk away from me. But if you choose to stay, know that it will be forever.”

“You can’t?—”

“Ten.”

“Barge in?—”

“Nine.”

“Here and?—”

“Eight.”

“Take what?—”

“Seven.”

“You want?—”

“Six.”

“Without asking?—”

“Five.”

Penny pushes on my chest. “Collins!”

“Four.”

“I mean…”

“Three.”

“It.”

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