Page 119 of Broken Blood Ties

I never wanted this life, but now I can’t imagine not having it. I shiver at the thought.

“Ye cold?” Kieran’s voice croaks.

“No, not at all.” I smile at him, and he holds my gaze as long as he can before turning back to the road. This man. He always seems to want to take care of me.

I try to ditch the thoughts that come next, but I can’t. Does he see me as someone who could stand with him? Or am I another responsibility to him? I’m paralyzed by the questions.

“Does it bother you that you had to help me?” I ask. It sort of bursts out of my mouth, and I mentally smack myself.

Kieran’s head swivels over to me, a giant V etched into his brow. “What? No. Why would ye ask that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me or be responsible for me.”

“Summer, ye’ve been takin’ care of yerself for seven years. I know for a fact ye don’tneedanyone to take care of ya. But I dowantto. I’d like to take as much of the burden ye’re carrying, if ye’ll let me.”

I sigh, leaning my head back against the cool seat. “You make me want to stay.”

Out of the corner of my eye, Kieran stiffens. “Ye can stay as long as ye want.”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “Forever?” I’m not sure why I say it. Perhaps I want to know if he can see that with someone like me. Can I see that with him?

“Especially forever.” Kieran’s voice shakes with emotion, and his expression is so rattling. All the emotion in it. I’m falling for him, I realize. I must be. I legit agonize over the pained expression on his face.

When we finally pull into the driveway, Aoife is still sleeping, so Kieran reaches in the back seat to pull her out while I gather the glittery shoes she kicked off at the restaurant and follow him as he carries her inside and up the stairs.

He lays her down in her bed for a nap, and I tuck her shoes away in her closet. When I turn back around, Kieran is staring down at Aoife’s sleeping form. Her light orange dress that reminds me of a creamsicle is twisted around her middle, and her long hair is messy around her head. He smiles at her as I approach him.

“She’s me world,” he seems to say out of nowhere.

“I know.” I reach down and move some blonde off to the side. She wiggles for a minute and then rolls over to her side. “I’m going to go change out of this dress.”

I go to move, but Kieran grabs my hand. As I study him, his lips part, then press together as if holding in unspoken words. The corners of his mouth droop, and his whole demeanor takes on a quiet yearning that’s palpable. He probes the ring on my finger again.

“Ye both are.”

Oh no. I can see it. The cliff I’m barreling toward. But it doesn’t matter, not when he wraps me in a hug and allows me to press my nose to his chest, inhaling him. He makes me feel safe. I’m heard with him. I realize in that moment the desire to run isn’t there anymore.

He lets me go and moves to lie down with Aoife on her bed, while I slip away to my room. I stay there, buried in my bed for the rest of the day.

* * *

“Marshmallows?” I ask.

“Check,” Aoife says, pointing to the bag on the counter. I snatch them up and put them on the round serving tray.

“Graham crackers?”

“Yes. Check.” Aoife picks up the box and sets it on the tray. She’s kneeling on the stool eager for our s’more night. Several weeks ago, when we were at lunch at O’Brien’s after church, she told me one of her favorite things about warmer weather was getting to have a fire in the patio firepit and roast marshmallows.

Since Allie is visiting family this weekend, I picked up Aoife from school, and Finn drove us to the store to gather everything we need. When Kieran gets home, we’ll surprise him with a s’mores night.

It’s Friday, and I know most Fridays he tries to be home to spend time with Aoife, and hopefully, me at this point.

Last Friday, he came home and gathered us both up to take us to the yacht. He’d hired someone who does rolled ice cream and the three of us ate our ice cream and watched the sunset over the marina. Throughout the evening, Kieran offered me frequent touches. He stroked my thighs, rubbed my back when I swallowed half a frozen strawberry, and stared longingly at me all night. When we got home, while Allie was getting Aoife ready for bed, I half expected him to drag me into his bedroom. I wanted him to. Instead, he said goodnight to Aoife and kissed me goodnight as well.

I tossed and turned all night, fighting the urge to jump him in his bed. I don’t know what’s happening to me. He can’t keep doing this to me. His gentle touches twist my insides into a ball of need and want. Quite frankly, I’m losing my mind.

Kieran and Nik talked several nights ago, and Licon pulled a guard from rotation to drive me to New York for the coming week. I leave on Monday, and while I’m happy to go, part of me is anxious about it. I don’t want to leave Aoife, and I don’t want to leave him.Four days,I say to myself. It’s only four days.

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