Page 26 of The Marriage Debt

“You didn’t tell me.” Even Anton wasn't this stupid. A boy as young as Lev needs to be protected from this sort of shit.

He finally turns to face me. “I don’t report to you.” His eyes are dark, narrowed on me.

“My son is upstairs.”

“I know where he is.”

“He shouldn’t be listening to this.” I throw my arm out in a gesture toward the yard, and he scowls.

“He’s wearing headphones.” Mateo actually rolls his eyes at me, as if firing off canons in the back yard of his suburban home is normal. As if I'm the idiot and not him.

“That doesn’t make it better.” My blood is boiling.

“It makes it quieter.” One eyebrow rises as he turns back to his men again.

His voice does not rise, but the edge is there. I stare at him and resist the urge to shout. Yelling at Mateo rarely accomplishes anything. He has already decided he is right. I take a slow breath and speak again.

“This is not a military base. This is a home.”

“This is a target.” His words land without hesitation. He does not blink as he says them. He locks eyes with me and glares down his nose, and I take his point. I'm well aware of the mess I'm in, both with my mother and with Anton's enemies. Mateo has brought me here at his own peril.

“You think that justifies everything?” I gesture with my hand again, unable to stop myself. I'm too mad to stand still.

“It justifies enough.”

I shake my head. “He’s five. He should be learning to read, not how to tell a real gunshot from a blank.”

Mateo glances toward the line of trees at the back of the property. Another round fires. Two men break into formation and fall low behind the hedge wall. “He should be out here learning with them,” Mateo says.

I take a full step back. “He’s not yours.”

“He is now.”

“No. You don’t get to take him just because you buried his father.” I'm already backing away, hugging myself.

“I get to protect him because no one else will do it right.” His words cut clean and fast. He believes them. That is the worst part. He thinks this is protection. He thinks every order and every tactic keeps us alive.

“I told you someone was following me.” My voice is quavering in anger and fear. I just want this all to go away.

“You told me after the fact—when I caught you.”

“I didn’t know what I saw.” I'm lying. I knew what I saw when I saw it. I just didn't want to believe that Mateo could be right.

“He did.”

I swallow hard. “I…"

“And you didn’t call me.” Now Mateo's focus is entirely on me. His men aren't shooting. They stop and stare at us, waiting for his command. I'm shivering, but I’m not cold.

“Because I knew you would react like this.” Now my voice is meek, cracking under the pressure.

Mateo steps forward. The smell of smoke lingers on his shirt. His eyes are dark and steady. “I told you, not telling me is how people die."

I don't have any emotional energy to respond to him. I let defeat settle over me and decide the only way I'll keep my son from this is to protect him myself. I march back into the house, slamming the door, and take Lev's snack up to the playroom, where I crank up the music and Lev and I have a dance party. If Mateo is going to act like an ass, I can act like one too.

* * *

The house is quiet. Dinner passed without incident. Lev fell asleep before I finished reading the second story, curled up with one hand resting on the spine of his drawing book. I turned out the light and left the door cracked just wide enough to hear him breathing. The hallway outside is still, but I can feel the tension in my body from earlier.

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