Page 99 of Shift Change

“Our captain’s doing his job,” Packy added. “Taking care of you.”

I wanted to be annoyed—and I was, for a moment—but after a look at Harpy’s face, tight with worry, the anger drained out of me. All that was left was the hollow echo of what had happened. I was like a balloon someone had let go, spinning and lost.

“I’m not mad,” I said. “Thanks, all of you, but I don’t think there’s anything to be done.”

How do you fix something that broke inside someone else? How do you save something that never had a chance to finish forming before it shattered?

Without missing a beat, Gabe said, “Bullshit. There’s always something that can be done. But before we can figure it out, we need to understand what happened. Will you tell us?”

Luca, who’d been watching silently, gestured toward the two couches in the middle of the room. “Sit down, guys.”

While they settled in, Harpy and I moved to chairs catty-corner to them. We ended up in a loose circle, almost as if we were about to hold a séance to summon a future I’d already lost.

I hesitated, torn between protecting Nate’s privacy and needing to let this out. Then I realized this breakup wasn’t only his story; he gave up the right to keep it locked down when he let me walk out the door. I wouldn’t betray his deepest secrets, but this heartbreak was mine, and I had every right to talk about it.

They didn’t interrupt while I told them what had happened. I started with how good things had been in California, then walked them through everything—Nate pulling away, me trying to hold on, and finally, how it all blew up last night.

“He told you to leave?” Brody asked. “Did I miss something?”

“Why is he so sure he’ll hurt you?” Gabe asked.

Packy shook his head. “Does he just not want to keep his dick in his pants?”

“It isn’t that. He feels like…” I chose my words carefully. “Things have happened in his life that make him think he can’t trust anyone, least of all himself. He’s convinced he’s bound to hurt anyone he gets close to.”

Gabe scoffed. “We all hurt people.”

“That’s being human,” Brody added. “It’s what happens afterward that’s important, how you fix it and move on.” He glanced at Gabe and reached for his hand. “Gabe and I learned that the hard way.”

“Which Holky fucking well knows,” Gabe said.

Packy leaned toward me. “What’s done such a number on him?”

Acid burned the back of my throat as Nate’s story replayed like a horror reel I couldn’t turn off. I could still hear the crack in his voice when he told me about his mom leaving, still see the devastation in his eyes when he talked about his dad.

“I can’t tell you that,” I said. “It’s not mine to share. But believe me when I say it’s the kind of stuff that would screw up anyone’s wiring.”

Harpy leaned forward. “What are you going to do, Dog?”

I let out a shaky breath and sat back as thoughts battled in my mind. “I don’t know.”

“Are you sure?” Gabe asked. “I think maybe youdoknow, but you need to say it.”

Emotions hit like a wave, dragging me under before I could catch a breath. I doubled over and pressed my fists to my eyes, trying to hold back the tears that came anyway. I cried in front of my friends while Harpy rested a hand on my back and rubbed slow circles.

When I got myself together, I sat up and wiped my face. “I want to fight for him, but I don’t know if he’ll let me close enough to try.”

“Then make him.” Gabe made it sound simple.

My head whipped toward him. “What?”

“Push. Show him he’s worth fighting for.”

“Gabe’s right,” Packy said. “Show him you’re willing to take a risk.”

Brody shook his head. “It’s not that easy, guys. Confronting someone you love is hard, and if you’re not even sure they’ll listen, it?—”

“Itisn’teasy,” Luca said. “But nothing about relationships is. You have to put in the hard work to reap the rewards.”

---