Page 51 of Mountains of Mist and Magic

They were now mated. She wanted to be sorry about it, but she couldn't. Not after what had transpired in the last few days. When he had opened up and bared his soul to her, she felt so connected to him that it nearly broke her heart. She had felt his pain, the fear he experienced, and the crippling isolation.

She tried to catch her breath, and then rolled over to face him. He had an odd expression on his face, almost as though he was embarrassed.

“What's wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he said, then he shifted around in bed, quickly getting up. He marched over to the corner of the room and pulled something out of his trunk, and then moved swiftly to the bathroom.

Something was wrong. Did she do something wrong? Was she supposed to touch him too? Worry settled in her stomach, and she felt sick. What went wrong?

She wrapped the small blanket that was bunched at the foot of the bed around her, and crept to the bathroom door.

“Triston?” she called, “is everything okay?”

She heard mumbling, and a bit of swearing, but then he opened the door. He was wearing a new pair of pants, and his old trousers were in his hands.

“I really think I should sleep in the chair,” he said, not looking at her. His voice was flat, and she couldn't find any type of emotion in his face or tone.

“Triston, what happened?”

“Nothing.” He walked towards the chair and sat down, facing the fire.

She wanted to scold him, wanted him to answer her, but she was too self-conscious about what had just transpired. But he was her mate, wasn't he? Officially now?

Julietta crept back to the bed and crawled in, pulling the covers up to her chin. She tried to prevent it, tried so hard not to let his cold behavior get to her, but soon she was shaking with quiet sobs.

In a flash, Triston was back beside her.

“Hush, sweetheart. What's wrong?” He knelt by the bed, so his face was level with hers. She tried to turn away, but he pressed his hand to her hair, stroking it gently.

“We've sealed our bond, but now you're angry with me. Did I do it wrong? Did I not...was I not...pleasant enough?”

A look of confusion swept across his face, followed by a look that made her feel like there were a great many things she'd done wrong.

“I'm so sorry, Julietta. I didn't...I didn't realize how unschooled you were in these matters. We didn't seal our bond.”

It was her turn to be confused. “Then what did we do?”

His cheeks reddened so much that he almost looked like a crab. “I really shouldn't be the one to have this conversation with you. Perhaps my sister, or Renya—”

“Triston.”

He sighed, and then ran his fingers through his hair. “I shouldn't...I should have thought about the ramifications.”

“But we aren't mated?” She was more unsure of everything as the seconds trickled by.

“I'm just explaining this all wrong.”

Another tear dripped down her cheek and onto the sheet beneath her. She went to wipe it away, but Triston was there first. He traced his thumbs under both eyes, swiping away the moisture. Then, he suddenly surprised her by picking her up in his arms. He moved to the bed, settling himself against the headboard, still holding her.

“It's so hard to look at you when I talk about this stuff. I'm not...not good with emotions, and I find it hard to express myself well...or at all,” he admitted. “This is why I can't be a mate, a father, or a husband. I'd only cause you pain and tears.”

He adjusted her on his lap so she was now sitting against his chest, looking towards the mirror on the other wall. She could see his reflection, could see the uneasiness and discomfort in his expression. But he put his arms around her and spoke into her ear softly.

“It's easier for me to speak of such things when I'm not looking directly at you. Is this okay?”

She nodded, unsure of what he was going to say.

“The mating bond we share...I'm sure you've realized that it's both emotional...and...physical. My body burns for yours, just as I'm guessing yours does for mine. And however bad you are feeling, the male experiences it even more...intensely.”

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